Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life
@transmet-irl.bsky.social
Collecting real news headlines that look like they came from the strangely prescient post-cyberpunk pages of Transmetropolitan.
Fan account managed by Z. Mann Zilla (@pandangit.com)
Fan account managed by Z. Mann Zilla (@pandangit.com)
Pinned
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
Up next on Amfeed, genAI just-the-tips its wick into the US legal system.
'I Loved That AI:' Judge Moved by AI-Generated Avatar of Man Killed in Road Rage Incident
How the sister of Christopher Pelkey made an avatar of him to testify in court.
www.404media.co
December 24, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Up next on Amfeed, genAI just-the-tips its wick into the US legal system.
Here's a fun party game, everyone go around the room and tell everyone what the Post is gonna report you were fiddling with during your pre-crime shit.
Mine's Vampire Survivors!
Mine's Vampire Survivors!
December 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Here's a fun party game, everyone go around the room and tell everyone what the Post is gonna report you were fiddling with during your pre-crime shit.
Mine's Vampire Survivors!
Mine's Vampire Survivors!
Computer, enhance.
As you can see captain, while the message appears to be coming from the women, it's actually coming from that barely-disguised creep who grins like he's getting away with it.
As you can see captain, while the message appears to be coming from the women, it's actually coming from that barely-disguised creep who grins like he's getting away with it.
December 19, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Computer, enhance.
As you can see captain, while the message appears to be coming from the women, it's actually coming from that barely-disguised creep who grins like he's getting away with it.
As you can see captain, while the message appears to be coming from the women, it's actually coming from that barely-disguised creep who grins like he's getting away with it.
Now On Amfeed: Gaggle Of Pearl-Clutchers Suddenly Cool With Defacing The White House
December 18, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Now On Amfeed: Gaggle Of Pearl-Clutchers Suddenly Cool With Defacing The White House
Reposted by Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life
DO NOT *swallows liver king branded supplements* MY FRIENDS *buys expensive suit* GET ADDICTED *lathers up rogaine shampoo* TO GENDER AFFIRMING CARE *chases trt meds with viagra* IT WILL TAKE HOLD OF YOU *injects botox* & YOU WILL RESENT ITS ABSENCE *clicks extra-veiny on dick extension order*
December 18, 2025 at 8:42 PM
DO NOT *swallows liver king branded supplements* MY FRIENDS *buys expensive suit* GET ADDICTED *lathers up rogaine shampoo* TO GENDER AFFIRMING CARE *chases trt meds with viagra* IT WILL TAKE HOLD OF YOU *injects botox* & YOU WILL RESENT ITS ABSENCE *clicks extra-veiny on dick extension order*
Next On SPKF: Opponents Of Gender-Affirming Care Have A Sad About Looking Unglamorous In Their Photos
Vanity Fair’s story about the inner circle of President Trump’s staff, photographed by Christopher Anderson, has caused an online stir.
We caught up with Anderson by phone to ask him about the online reaction to the photos and the process behind them. https://wapo.st/4qf9RS8
We caught up with Anderson by phone to ask him about the online reaction to the photos and the process behind them. https://wapo.st/4qf9RS8
December 18, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Next On SPKF: Opponents Of Gender-Affirming Care Have A Sad About Looking Unglamorous In Their Photos
Yeah let's get a "medicinal use only" speech from Adderall J. Fuckbuckle & The Ketamine Crew.
Trump: "The facts compel the Federal Government to recognize that marijuana can be legitimate in terms of medical applications when carefully administered in some cases."
December 18, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Yeah let's get a "medicinal use only" speech from Adderall J. Fuckbuckle & The Ketamine Crew.
"Dicks are costly, balls are optional" is exactly how I'd summarize US politics in 2025.
Dr Oz: "The creation of a penis costs on average in America $150,000 per child ... if you add testicles, that's extra"
December 18, 2025 at 7:06 PM
"Dicks are costly, balls are optional" is exactly how I'd summarize US politics in 2025.
Finally, a news item that warms the cockles of my stony heart.
Wife creates 'Godzilla rage room' for man having tough year
A California woman said her husband was having a tough year, so she created a "rage room" for him to destroy while wearing a Godzilla suit.
6abc.com
December 17, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Finally, a news item that warms the cockles of my stony heart.
10,000 tons worth of bombs, dropped by a single invisible aircraft, and it goes "bing bing" when it attacks.
Hell of a heel turn for Wonder Woman.
Hell of a heel turn for Wonder Woman.
December 17, 2025 at 4:33 AM
10,000 tons worth of bombs, dropped by a single invisible aircraft, and it goes "bing bing" when it attacks.
Hell of a heel turn for Wonder Woman.
Hell of a heel turn for Wonder Woman.
Coming up next on Amfeed: J6 Bomber's Media Diet Reveals Obsession With A Cartoon Nazi Friendship Horse
Even in a universe with "Sex Puppets" in it, this would be some weird shit.
Even in a universe with "Sex Puppets" in it, this would be some weird shit.
the January 6th pipe bomb guy was a brony who faved over 300 pictures of a nazi my little pony character on Derpibooru, the fandom's largest image site.
@derpibooru.bsky.social
@derpibooru.bsky.social
December 16, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Coming up next on Amfeed: J6 Bomber's Media Diet Reveals Obsession With A Cartoon Nazi Friendship Horse
Even in a universe with "Sex Puppets" in it, this would be some weird shit.
Even in a universe with "Sex Puppets" in it, this would be some weird shit.
Next on SPKF: THIS Asshole.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
Dr. Oz Tells His Federal Employees to Eat Less
“You don’t have to try every cookie on the holiday table,” wrote Mehmet Oz in an email to all Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services staffers.
wrd.cm
December 13, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Next on SPKF: THIS Asshole.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
Remember what happened after "let them eat cake"?
What'cha suppose should follow from "don't let yourself eat a cookie"?
To anyone tossing around that old "eat the rich" chestnut, here's a pro-tip: it's more effective if you're holding a carving board instead of a menu.
I started this account as a way of joking about how so many real-world headlines are becoming as crazy as the fictional ones from Transmet.
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
Trump: "Transgender for every member of your family. If they're not feeling well that night, let's just change their sex."
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I started this account as a way of joking about how so many real-world headlines are becoming as crazy as the fictional ones from Transmet.
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
But this IRL version of the Beast literally talks like Transmet's traits are an actual thing that exists - AND is framing it like it's a bad thing?!
Up next on Amfeed: Secretary Of State Declares A Font "Wasteful Diversity"
What a Helveticunt.
What a Helveticunt.
Marco Rubio ordered diplomats to return to using Times New Roman font in official communications, calling his predecessor's decision to adopt Calibri a “wasteful” diversity move
Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri
The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.
www.huffpost.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Up next on Amfeed: Secretary Of State Declares A Font "Wasteful Diversity"
What a Helveticunt.
What a Helveticunt.
Finally, science makes itself useful.
Lab-grown penises are on the horizon, scientists say
Growing the organ from a patient's own cells would decrease the risk of rejection.
www.washingtonpost.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Finally, science makes itself useful.
Thank you for your service, ham sniffers.
Think Santa Is Busy? Ham Sniffers Are Pushing Their Noses to the Limit
Christmas is the busy season for scent experts at Cinco Jotas, a 142-year-old company in Jabugo, Spain, who take whiffs of pork to determine whether the meat passes muster. ‘I will find a way to sniff...
www.wsj.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Thank you for your service, ham sniffers.
"Surprising"?
Japan’s bear meat vending machine proves a surprising success
The machine in the northern prefecture of Akita sells locally killed wild bear captured by local hunters
www.theguardian.com
December 6, 2025 at 8:36 AM
"Surprising"?
Reposted by Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life
Been threatening to do this for a while, and I finally did: my "Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life" account is now on Bluesky.
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
December 6, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Been threatening to do this for a while, and I finally did: my "Transmetropolitan Headlines In Real Life" account is now on Bluesky.
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
Be sure to tag it with any (REAL, NOT PARODY/FAKE) headlines that look like they were torn from the pages of Transmet!
An oldie but a goldie: uk.pcmag.com/pokemon-go/8...
Swedish sex pig couple shoots laser at Pokemon Go players
Putting the poke in Pokemon
uk.pcmag.com
December 6, 2025 at 1:30 AM
An oldie but a goldie: uk.pcmag.com/pokemon-go/8...
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
December 6, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Follows this account if:
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
- You know what Transmetropolitan is
- You wanna see real-life headlines that look like they came from it
- You aren't gonna take this shabby crap
Next on SPKF:
"Soon, CNN will run live odds on world events where its viewers can gamble on them in real time on their smartphones."
CNN Partners With a Gambling App That Lets You Wager on Starvation in Gaza
The app company’s two biggest investors are also heavily invested in the Israeli military.
truthout.org
December 6, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Next on SPKF: