I was told the Olympics is a total fuckfest, how much skiing do I need to watch before something interesting happens?
February 12, 2026 at 3:18 PM
I was told the Olympics is a total fuckfest, how much skiing do I need to watch before something interesting happens?
My dream is to host extravagant dinner parties where my partner and I are passive aggressively fighting the whole time while refusing to acknowledge to the guests that anything is wrong
January 27, 2026 at 2:12 PM
My dream is to host extravagant dinner parties where my partner and I are passive aggressively fighting the whole time while refusing to acknowledge to the guests that anything is wrong
Political horseshoe theory is the dumbest shit fr.
"What do you mean my arbitrary one-dimensional metric for defining all possible political viewpoints doesn't fit reality? What if I just bend it a little?
"What do you mean my arbitrary one-dimensional metric for defining all possible political viewpoints doesn't fit reality? What if I just bend it a little?
January 13, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Political horseshoe theory is the dumbest shit fr.
"What do you mean my arbitrary one-dimensional metric for defining all possible political viewpoints doesn't fit reality? What if I just bend it a little?
"What do you mean my arbitrary one-dimensional metric for defining all possible political viewpoints doesn't fit reality? What if I just bend it a little?
Mark Rober's glitter bomb package but it's filled with anthrax
October 30, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Mark Rober's glitter bomb package but it's filled with anthrax
bbq corn nuts giving me heartburn
October 17, 2025 at 6:39 PM
bbq corn nuts giving me heartburn
If your man and/or woman really enjoys choke play, what are the ethics of performing the Heimlich maneuver?
October 4, 2025 at 7:59 AM
If your man and/or woman really enjoys choke play, what are the ethics of performing the Heimlich maneuver?
Will expired NyQuil kill me or be more fun?
October 4, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Will expired NyQuil kill me or be more fun?
Imagine dying while taking a shit on Mount Everest and then everyone knows you as The Poopman milestone
August 5, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Imagine dying while taking a shit on Mount Everest and then everyone knows you as The Poopman milestone
Had a dream last night I was in Logan Paul's house and couldn't stop shit talking how all his bathrooms have carpet in them
July 22, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Had a dream last night I was in Logan Paul's house and couldn't stop shit talking how all his bathrooms have carpet in them
Got that dawg in me
(i want to sniff ur butthole)
(i want to sniff ur butthole)
July 15, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Got that dawg in me
(i want to sniff ur butthole)
(i want to sniff ur butthole)
I follow all my criminally actionable statements with "in real life" to trick the FBI into thinking I'll only do them in Minecraft
July 8, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I follow all my criminally actionable statements with "in real life" to trick the FBI into thinking I'll only do them in Minecraft
Lately I've been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin (my lips are dry and cracked 😞)
June 20, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Lately I've been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin (my lips are dry and cracked 😞)
Call me Dwayne the way you get my Johnson hard as a rock
May 3, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Call me Dwayne the way you get my Johnson hard as a rock
Rest in peace Pope Francis, gone too soon
April 21, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Rest in peace Pope Francis, gone too soon
Absolutely devastated that nobody bothered to wish me a happy birthday today
April 15, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Absolutely devastated that nobody bothered to wish me a happy birthday today
very distraught at the number of young women suffering from erectile dysfunction 😞 hope they get better
March 27, 2025 at 5:14 PM
very distraught at the number of young women suffering from erectile dysfunction 😞 hope they get better
Reposted by TurtleGoose
pro-tip: diffuse ANY online flame war with "my tummy hurts"
March 25, 2025 at 8:39 PM
pro-tip: diffuse ANY online flame war with "my tummy hurts"
Blood is thicker than water, but my hunnies are even thicker
March 16, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Blood is thicker than water, but my hunnies are even thicker
Just marked my territory by leaving a big poop smear on the toilet bowl at work
March 13, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Just marked my territory by leaving a big poop smear on the toilet bowl at work
Inflation isn't real. Make your products cheaper or I will simply steal them.
February 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Inflation isn't real. Make your products cheaper or I will simply steal them.
Remember to sin as much as humanly possible or Jesus died for nothing
December 25, 2024 at 3:24 PM
Remember to sin as much as humanly possible or Jesus died for nothing
Reposted by TurtleGoose
Banned from paintball for trying to broker a peace agreement
December 19, 2024 at 5:27 AM
Banned from paintball for trying to broker a peace agreement
Im not usually a violent person but being given non-verbal directions while I'm driving awakens something primal within me
November 18, 2024 at 9:16 PM
Im not usually a violent person but being given non-verbal directions while I'm driving awakens something primal within me
The Tower of Pisa is the only thing in the world that is straight, everything else is crooked.
October 19, 2024 at 5:42 AM
The Tower of Pisa is the only thing in the world that is straight, everything else is crooked.