update: not only am I still married she said it was the best thing she had tonight

we did put chicken broth in there because it was dry as some dry thing I don’t have the energy to come up with right now

(“vegan” was always the wrong word because it had turkey sausage; “allergen-free” is better)

it's not easy being the foreman at the life-ruining factory

some mornings he can barely even stand the thought of getting out of bed, but he thinks about all those lives he hasn't ruined yet, digs down deep, and finds the strength for one more day of being an irredeemable dripping sack of shit

i'll let you know tomorrow whether i'm still married

where my lasers at

you guys it did not work out

she was a bit more skeptical because it’s a fairly complicated word, and since I haven’t been able to replicate it since I think she might be right after all

but god *damn* that sure sounds like what she said

I used a recipe she found online and followed it with painstaking accuracy…right up until I put more macadamia milk in because that shit seemed dry as the sahara

unless that extra liquid is my downfall I guess I can blame the recipe and hope she remembers why she married me, whatever reason it was

maybe it’s not for us to know Raghow

i took longer coming up with that sentence than this waste of breath has nurtured any thought they've ever had

i don't seek out permission to drink gravy but it's still nice when i receive it

that name may seem a bit on the nose but bear in mind that they almost went with "Operation Shhh, Don't Tell Anyone About President Donald J. Trump's Sex Crimes"

the replies to that post somehow *still* include people going “we’ll get him next time” as though we’ll not only see him die without facing a single consequence but in fact watch him be honored and his reputation whitewashed after he finally, finally, blessedly goes

i just replayed it like a year ago and it *almost* holds up come on square i am literally begging you who's it going to hurt

(if they *had* only let me pick from games i'd played on steam then date everything is game of the year, and quite handily)

I just wouldn’t trust a food item called “raiders crunch”

I don’t think I can explain why but it sounds like it has teeth in it

oh wow these are genuinely nice additions

i taught myself to play drums by beating the shit out of a bunch of couch cushions and an old chest i found in my parents' basement

if you want to make music you can just, like, make it

AI is for people who want to *have made* music without the difficult bit where you figure out how to do that

also every button press somehow uses up three bottles' worth of drinkable water