UnknownStory
@unknownstory.bsky.social
he/him, bi
jort jester
Trans Rights Matter, Black Lives Matter, ACAB; fix your hearts or die
in this house we use ALT text for our images
i love you
jort jester
Trans Rights Matter, Black Lives Matter, ACAB; fix your hearts or die
in this house we use ALT text for our images
i love you
hey everyone, I found a few cards in the attic from this set which I had way back in the day and it seems one of them is a misprint? instead of the usual clientele it has someone with a bad blonde wig and cheap suit kneeling in front of President Bill Clinton, titled "Servicing the Arkansas Big Dog"
December 12, 2025 at 11:08 PM
hey everyone, I found a few cards in the attic from this set which I had way back in the day and it seems one of them is a misprint? instead of the usual clientele it has someone with a bad blonde wig and cheap suit kneeling in front of President Bill Clinton, titled "Servicing the Arkansas Big Dog"
obsessively checking every corner multiple times everytime i enter an elevator to make damn sure my mother isn't in there at all (lest i be overcome with an insatiable desire to bang)
December 12, 2025 at 10:46 PM
obsessively checking every corner multiple times everytime i enter an elevator to make damn sure my mother isn't in there at all (lest i be overcome with an insatiable desire to bang)
i would never be alone in an elevator with another woman. not even with a 100 year old woman. not even if she's draped in multiple layers of sackcloth. not even if it's my own grandmother. who knows how unspeakably horny i'd be in such a situation
December 12, 2025 at 10:40 PM
i would never be alone in an elevator with another woman. not even with a 100 year old woman. not even if she's draped in multiple layers of sackcloth. not even if it's my own grandmother. who knows how unspeakably horny i'd be in such a situation
many are saying this
December 12, 2025 at 12:02 PM
many are saying this
i did not have "World War III with Venezuela" on any of my bingo sheets
December 10, 2025 at 11:53 PM
i did not have "World War III with Venezuela" on any of my bingo sheets
carrying my big screen tv and a bag with a laptop, tablet, and smartphone into a movie theater. i plug everything in and check my smartwatch for the time. after everyone finishes groaning, i let out a little "oh" and pull a phablet from the bag. the crowd goes wild (with pitchforks and torches)
December 10, 2025 at 5:56 AM
carrying my big screen tv and a bag with a laptop, tablet, and smartphone into a movie theater. i plug everything in and check my smartwatch for the time. after everyone finishes groaning, i let out a little "oh" and pull a phablet from the bag. the crowd goes wild (with pitchforks and torches)
ah-hah. you believe my criticism for the US' flavor of "democracy" is also approval for Iraq's invasion. you have fallen for the classic Liberal trap. black and white thinking will keep you seated in the trap for now. thanks for playing
December 10, 2025 at 2:15 AM
ah-hah. you believe my criticism for the US' flavor of "democracy" is also approval for Iraq's invasion. you have fallen for the classic Liberal trap. black and white thinking will keep you seated in the trap for now. thanks for playing
sadly, I'm referring to those mainly in the US who ~say~ they want workplaces where everybody is paid equally from the profits (or want to do away with currency, hoarding, etc.) but with a heaping helping of racism or sexism thrown in somewhere. for funsies
December 10, 2025 at 2:12 AM
sadly, I'm referring to those mainly in the US who ~say~ they want workplaces where everybody is paid equally from the profits (or want to do away with currency, hoarding, etc.) but with a heaping helping of racism or sexism thrown in somewhere. for funsies
try "every 'positive' military intervention is a blank check to do a warcrime later" instead. that should help
December 10, 2025 at 2:07 AM
try "every 'positive' military intervention is a blank check to do a warcrime later" instead. that should help
it's like hearing about "communist republicans" my brain just inverts and melts
December 10, 2025 at 2:05 AM
it's like hearing about "communist republicans" my brain just inverts and melts
so America got nothing for helping Kuwait? what a noble gesture, i'm sure
December 10, 2025 at 1:59 AM
so America got nothing for helping Kuwait? what a noble gesture, i'm sure
next up... the Great American Suck-off with special guests: the bloated corpses of Reagan and Nixon
December 10, 2025 at 1:53 AM
next up... the Great American Suck-off with special guests: the bloated corpses of Reagan and Nixon
i'd like to circle back to your comment of countries stopping imperialist expansion being good regardless of reasons (paraphrased)
what do you think "taking control of a country's main economic resource(s) and direction of future elections" are besides, uhm, imperialist expansion (but by proxy?)
what do you think "taking control of a country's main economic resource(s) and direction of future elections" are besides, uhm, imperialist expansion (but by proxy?)
December 10, 2025 at 1:51 AM
i'd like to circle back to your comment of countries stopping imperialist expansion being good regardless of reasons (paraphrased)
what do you think "taking control of a country's main economic resource(s) and direction of future elections" are besides, uhm, imperialist expansion (but by proxy?)
what do you think "taking control of a country's main economic resource(s) and direction of future elections" are besides, uhm, imperialist expansion (but by proxy?)
so America is basically the mafia. We'll let you get your ass kicked by another country OR... you could pay us "protection" money (or oil, rather)
and as a bonus, we'll install leaders in your country who will attempt to turn it into a capitalist nightmare at NO EXTRA CHARGE!
and as a bonus, we'll install leaders in your country who will attempt to turn it into a capitalist nightmare at NO EXTRA CHARGE!
December 10, 2025 at 1:38 AM
so America is basically the mafia. We'll let you get your ass kicked by another country OR... you could pay us "protection" money (or oil, rather)
and as a bonus, we'll install leaders in your country who will attempt to turn it into a capitalist nightmare at NO EXTRA CHARGE!
and as a bonus, we'll install leaders in your country who will attempt to turn it into a capitalist nightmare at NO EXTRA CHARGE!
jesus you are a disgusting vulture. a knuckledragging troglodyte.
don't worry, it's just stripping countries of their few resources while we install "democracy" against their will. maintain the status quo. all who opposed will be stomped for oil... or into oil
don't worry, it's just stripping countries of their few resources while we install "democracy" against their will. maintain the status quo. all who opposed will be stomped for oil... or into oil
December 10, 2025 at 1:34 AM
jesus you are a disgusting vulture. a knuckledragging troglodyte.
don't worry, it's just stripping countries of their few resources while we install "democracy" against their will. maintain the status quo. all who opposed will be stomped for oil... or into oil
don't worry, it's just stripping countries of their few resources while we install "democracy" against their will. maintain the status quo. all who opposed will be stomped for oil... or into oil
yes, regardless of the reasons. like stripping a poorer country of resources. and that's after we talk about all the wartime torture (& worse) of both combatants & civilians. a worthy price to, uh, "suplex" countries we later rub our dicks together with at quaint luncheons while we talk trade deals
December 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
yes, regardless of the reasons. like stripping a poorer country of resources. and that's after we talk about all the wartime torture (& worse) of both combatants & civilians. a worthy price to, uh, "suplex" countries we later rub our dicks together with at quaint luncheons while we talk trade deals
you should ask more people who won the Vietnam War then because i've seen plenty of cope, especially around those who worship warmongering and profiteering. then ask a conservative to see a meltdown
December 10, 2025 at 1:26 AM
you should ask more people who won the Vietnam War then because i've seen plenty of cope, especially around those who worship warmongering and profiteering. then ask a conservative to see a meltdown
now ask yourself if the US intervened out of the kindness of its precious lil' heart or for, you know, resources. a show of power. "democracy"
countries do this shit to smaller countries all the time, but the US gravitates hard to the M.E. every time oil prices skyrocket. really makes you think
countries do this shit to smaller countries all the time, but the US gravitates hard to the M.E. every time oil prices skyrocket. really makes you think
December 10, 2025 at 1:18 AM
now ask yourself if the US intervened out of the kindness of its precious lil' heart or for, you know, resources. a show of power. "democracy"
countries do this shit to smaller countries all the time, but the US gravitates hard to the M.E. every time oil prices skyrocket. really makes you think
countries do this shit to smaller countries all the time, but the US gravitates hard to the M.E. every time oil prices skyrocket. really makes you think
have you not figured out that i'm trying to draw a distinction between the "legality" of a war crime and a moral or ethical judgement or are you stuck on "US good for kill. we love when US kills. as long as they are bad guys. who we say are bad guys"
December 10, 2025 at 1:09 AM
have you not figured out that i'm trying to draw a distinction between the "legality" of a war crime and a moral or ethical judgement or are you stuck on "US good for kill. we love when US kills. as long as they are bad guys. who we say are bad guys"
so scratch the "along the way" then answer the question
because, years later, you ask Iraqis they'll say shit is more fucked up due to US intervention. due to WMDs. that never existed.
but the US is "equal" to Iraq in Imperialism. Because Iraq goes around all over the world playing "police," right
because, years later, you ask Iraqis they'll say shit is more fucked up due to US intervention. due to WMDs. that never existed.
but the US is "equal" to Iraq in Imperialism. Because Iraq goes around all over the world playing "police," right
December 10, 2025 at 1:07 AM
so scratch the "along the way" then answer the question
because, years later, you ask Iraqis they'll say shit is more fucked up due to US intervention. due to WMDs. that never existed.
but the US is "equal" to Iraq in Imperialism. Because Iraq goes around all over the world playing "police," right
because, years later, you ask Iraqis they'll say shit is more fucked up due to US intervention. due to WMDs. that never existed.
but the US is "equal" to Iraq in Imperialism. Because Iraq goes around all over the world playing "police," right
question: did the Kuwaiti people ask for our help in that conflict (and did we improve their lives in doing our brand of "diplomacy")
hard mode: not the government, the ~people~ of Kuwait.
extra credit: did the Iraqi people (again, not governing officials) ask us to topple Hussein along the way
hard mode: not the government, the ~people~ of Kuwait.
extra credit: did the Iraqi people (again, not governing officials) ask us to topple Hussein along the way
December 10, 2025 at 12:58 AM
question: did the Kuwaiti people ask for our help in that conflict (and did we improve their lives in doing our brand of "diplomacy")
hard mode: not the government, the ~people~ of Kuwait.
extra credit: did the Iraqi people (again, not governing officials) ask us to topple Hussein along the way
hard mode: not the government, the ~people~ of Kuwait.
extra credit: did the Iraqi people (again, not governing officials) ask us to topple Hussein along the way
so it was morally fine to kill an imperialist army (US) trying to conquer a weaker neighbor (Vietnam)
well, communists will take that applause now please and thank you
well, communists will take that applause now please and thank you
December 10, 2025 at 12:25 AM
so it was morally fine to kill an imperialist army (US) trying to conquer a weaker neighbor (Vietnam)
well, communists will take that applause now please and thank you
well, communists will take that applause now please and thank you
also also, how many WMDs did they find in Iraq. remember, that was Dubya's whole reason to kick this thing off. so you agree that sucking off his ego was a good thing, "morally" and "legally", right
December 10, 2025 at 12:23 AM
also also, how many WMDs did they find in Iraq. remember, that was Dubya's whole reason to kick this thing off. so you agree that sucking off his ego was a good thing, "morally" and "legally", right