help i made the generalization that all ‘work’ is just arranging ‘objects’ in ‘patterns’ and asking “is that something?” but now i have no way to answer that question without first asking it again. i cannot perform tasks, send ketamine

is emily in paris cocomelon for adults

‘important’ is shorthand for ‘import ant’, hope that helps

fucked up that the affordable care act doesn’t require insurers to offer a plan specifically tailored to my healthcare needs (i need to be put down)

hot take thursday: ‘said’ is a perfectly fine word!!!!!! no, they did not ‘declared’ or ‘exclaimed’ or ‘remarked’ it to me. wtf are you talking about

hot take: we should ban the word “the” from model titles. the 7 stages of grief? get fuckd. a model of grief that, given certain assumptions, can be used to estimate [future event], within certain constraints; advantageous over [other model] given [criteria]?” hell yeah

[hoping to catch a topologist] i swear my fitted bedsheet turns into a fucking klein bottle every time i run it through the dryer

if you ever worry about acting “too confident,” just remember:

some fuckin guy(s) made up two scientific models to describe light—and get this—neither one works!—THEN had the gall to coin their collective shortcomings as the “Wave-Particle Duality of Light”

new startup pitch, the Temperature Gradient minifridge: dedicated wine shelves (warmer) at the top and dedicated ice cream shelves (colder) at the bottom (it’s actually just a cheap minifridge with bad amazon reviews)

“forget your balls and grow a pair of tits”

you may assume estrogen is required for breast growth, but all you need is the absence of testosterone. a bilateral orchiectomy will achieve this.

in Hard Out Here, @thelilyallen.bsky.social demonstrates her nuanced understanding of the endocrine system.

“we sent a login link to your email” is literally so adhdphobic

hey real quick what’s the icd-10 code for “i wrote some contrived prose/poetry (prosetry?) about wanting to die but like. who’s to say it’s not a euphemism for doing drugs”

fucking hate it when i ask which way the clocks are changing for dst then people clap back w/ “fall back down but i spring up again” or some shit

you see: “there is no scientific evidence that [thing] works better than a placebo”

i see: “wow i need to start taking more placebos”

spotify pops up an ad for “duo” and i’m like wait how did you know i need an anonymous alt for all my extremely unfortunate public playlists

my contagion was ‘linux.’

it spread by compact disc. my classmate slipped one into my hand, still hot from its ritualized burning ceremony. it glistened like a holy artifact; fresh sharpie scent filled my lungs. little did i know—i was the ‘feisty fawn’ being led to the slaughter

⏻ every time I fall asleep, I wake up as the same person

this seems like an extreme statistical anomaly?

has anyone else experienced this