What could be a better sign of America hating me than having Covid two years in a row on July 4th

I think it should be illegal to post #monolid makeup if you’re just Asian but don’t have monolids. It’s so useless and helps no one why are you doing this

Not to out myself as a dadder on pride month but Makeba was featured on the slot car episode years ago before the Alan/Bill Hader meme but I still love it

Brian seeing his billionaire step-dad outside of a Blink 182 show years from now

I have spent an ungodly amount of time in my car almost getting into accidents trying to figure out why the new Indiana Jones movie is called Dirl of Destiny

I don’t know how to look for a roommate in LA 😭

Dear father, it’s a me Maria

Stupid, stupid Kato disqualification at the French Open. In the video ball girls hand is up and the ball is not hit hard. Bouzkova and Torno are awful sportswomen. https://www.tennis.com/news/articles/sara-sorribes-tormo-pushes-back-on-criticism-surrounding-miyu-kato-disqualificat

You guys calling these skeets unironically? Maybe I’m not built for this actually

Question for Bluesky devs: without a comedy page suddenly posting a one two punch of a purple vibrator 😈 followed by “this projector lamp is so pretty ✨”, how will I know when my favorite shitposter has sold out?

Took me 0.03 minutes to go from wanting a fresh start and brand on a new social media to following and liking shitposters