Twins?

funniest highlights of the philly police scanner, a thread

Western North Carolina still looks like a war zone/wasteland, but sure - let’s level Gaza to build resorts.

Fuck Donald Trump.

I need a dream decoded:

Last night I dreamt that our yard was full of cats.

Black cats, tuxedo cats and cow-print cats. All lengths of fur and different sizes. They were all glossy and beautiful, friendly cats who kept trying to get in our house.

They were lounging all around the house & yard.

I want a perfume that smells like this. Dear Polly by Vilhelm Parfumerie is close, but it lasts all of an hour on me and doesn’t have the milky notes I crave.

Mother, I long for your crunchy snacks.

As someone who grew up in a small southern town, the fact that anyone takes health advice from shirtless, shoeless men in a grocery store is deeply hilarious to me.

Get out of here with your grocery store feet, bro.

Someone woke up from a very hard nap and glared at me.