I think the conclusion that I'm coming to is that I just don't want to be in this space, and I'm also not very good at being in this space, and I don't want my impact to be in the form of publications. I want to make a difference in some other way, and that might mean finding a different profession.

Publication isn't at all a good metric to measure ourselves by, but if writing is all I really work on day in and day out, what else am I producing here if not publications? Not saying that we _must_ only produce publications, but rather that I don't seem to be _doing_ anything else...

thank you to good reviewers tho, omg. even if the decision isn't what i hoped for, it's still way way wayy better and more appreciated than when i submitted a paper and got straight up generative AI responses

I have to really ask myself, if I want to start an online community co-op, what skills am I bringing to it? Cause it's definitely not coding skills (others are definitely better at it than I am), and it's sure not business acument or fundraising skills either..