key (rowan) jordan-abrams
@wheretherider.bsky.social
I need a job. ampersands. cats.
Chabad/Hillel warned you. too brown & too white. anti-Zionist. anarcho*.
#AAC, #Autistic, #Deaf, #Disability, epileptic, #LongCOVID, mentally ill. clean, #Sober.
#Poet, writer.
mDNI. touch averse. no unsolicited advice.
Chabad/Hillel warned you. too brown & too white. anti-Zionist. anarcho*.
#AAC, #Autistic, #Deaf, #Disability, epileptic, #LongCOVID, mentally ill. clean, #Sober.
#Poet, writer.
mDNI. touch averse. no unsolicited advice.
I would choose to not log meds, but given the up-thread list of reasons my memory is shot I absolutely have to be able to know whether I took my controlled substances or not.
logging is drilled in enough.
so here goes trying not to fuck up what my OCD will stranglehold me with.
logging is drilled in enough.
so here goes trying not to fuck up what my OCD will stranglehold me with.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
I would choose to not log meds, but given the up-thread list of reasons my memory is shot I absolutely have to be able to know whether I took my controlled substances or not.
logging is drilled in enough.
so here goes trying not to fuck up what my OCD will stranglehold me with.
logging is drilled in enough.
so here goes trying not to fuck up what my OCD will stranglehold me with.
so I'm sure I'll get back to compulsively tracking my medications, but better for the moment that I'm sticking to building out the rest of the structure, the detail to which I want to log drinks, energy drinks, foodstuffs et cetera.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
so I'm sure I'll get back to compulsively tracking my medications, but better for the moment that I'm sticking to building out the rest of the structure, the detail to which I want to log drinks, energy drinks, foodstuffs et cetera.
I suspect they got put in the same time slot as the rest of the supplements.
but I can't be certain, because frankly once they've left the bottles I very much can't tell the various capsules apart. they all look so similar.
but I can't be certain, because frankly once they've left the bottles I very much can't tell the various capsules apart. they all look so similar.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
I suspect they got put in the same time slot as the rest of the supplements.
but I can't be certain, because frankly once they've left the bottles I very much can't tell the various capsules apart. they all look so similar.
but I can't be certain, because frankly once they've left the bottles I very much can't tell the various capsules apart. they all look so similar.
in part all of this was brought about because I made a mistake in which time slot one of my supplements goes, this past week doing my meds with our IHSS provided PCA instead of handing them off to my spouse, who usually does them.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
in part all of this was brought about because I made a mistake in which time slot one of my supplements goes, this past week doing my meds with our IHSS provided PCA instead of handing them off to my spouse, who usually does them.
in particular I still can't deal with the massive number of medication records it generates & the lack of control over them when it does.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
in particular I still can't deal with the massive number of medication records it generates & the lack of control over them when it does.
I'm not going to start to immediately enter things in the quickly rejoined blank slate profile.
& I'm not trusting it to connect to my healthcare portal, because I've done that before. the result was a set of records so messy I had a meltdown version of the same sequence of events happening now.
& I'm not trusting it to connect to my healthcare portal, because I've done that before. the result was a set of records so messy I had a meltdown version of the same sequence of events happening now.
November 9, 2025 at 8:42 AM
I'm not going to start to immediately enter things in the quickly rejoined blank slate profile.
& I'm not trusting it to connect to my healthcare portal, because I've done that before. the result was a set of records so messy I had a meltdown version of the same sequence of events happening now.
& I'm not trusting it to connect to my healthcare portal, because I've done that before. the result was a set of records so messy I had a meltdown version of the same sequence of events happening now.
innit fun to be me?
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 AM
innit fun to be me?
the very thing which I need to manage my medical conditions, document for posterity etc how they affect my life, becomes the enemy of my pattern-loving perfectionistic OCD.
which is under "control", although I might ask my doctor about going up on that med too, if it's flaring like this.
which is under "control", although I might ask my doctor about going up on that med too, if it's flaring like this.
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 AM
the very thing which I need to manage my medical conditions, document for posterity etc how they affect my life, becomes the enemy of my pattern-loving perfectionistic OCD.
which is under "control", although I might ask my doctor about going up on that med too, if it's flaring like this.
which is under "control", although I might ask my doctor about going up on that med too, if it's flaring like this.
then what happens is I miss things not on purpose, so I feel even more forgetful than I currently am (between long COVID, seizures?, meds, mental health, stress), especially when I go to look for the log later but it's not there because I never logged it in the first place.
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 AM
then what happens is I miss things not on purpose, so I feel even more forgetful than I currently am (between long COVID, seizures?, meds, mental health, stress), especially when I go to look for the log later but it's not there because I never logged it in the first place.
logging of any kind is a two-edged sword. eventually I start feeling like I could, should, & eventually need to cheat the log.
not write down that food I just ate.
drink the extra energy drink & lie about it on the log, which I share to others in transparency & for coordination of care.
not write down that food I just ate.
drink the extra energy drink & lie about it on the log, which I share to others in transparency & for coordination of care.
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 AM
logging of any kind is a two-edged sword. eventually I start feeling like I could, should, & eventually need to cheat the log.
not write down that food I just ate.
drink the extra energy drink & lie about it on the log, which I share to others in transparency & for coordination of care.
not write down that food I just ate.
drink the extra energy drink & lie about it on the log, which I share to others in transparency & for coordination of care.
I know that part of the point of it is tracking when I take my meds is important? but then when I fail to log or take my meds I feel like the world's most horrible person (plus feeling shitty if I did actually miss my meds).
November 9, 2025 at 8:18 AM
I know that part of the point of it is tracking when I take my meds is important? but then when I fail to log or take my meds I feel like the world's most horrible person (plus feeling shitty if I did actually miss my meds).
but the cat is out of the bag now. so I guess that's that for today.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
but the cat is out of the bag now. so I guess that's that for today.
then there's the part where telling still doesn't change the fact that the lashon hara is happening in the first place; I honestly would have thought in the small program that it is these jibs & jabs would be known by now but it's clear to me now that that isn't the case.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
then there's the part where telling still doesn't change the fact that the lashon hara is happening in the first place; I honestly would have thought in the small program that it is these jibs & jabs would be known by now but it's clear to me now that that isn't the case.
it's all fucked up anyway, & I could be sleeping instead of musing aloud about college politics on the Internet. I'm up waiting until I take meds before sleep.
yet I think I'm always going to feel obligated to let the person who is the subject of the lashon hara going around that it is happening.
yet I think I'm always going to feel obligated to let the person who is the subject of the lashon hara going around that it is happening.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
it's all fucked up anyway, & I could be sleeping instead of musing aloud about college politics on the Internet. I'm up waiting until I take meds before sleep.
yet I think I'm always going to feel obligated to let the person who is the subject of the lashon hara going around that it is happening.
yet I think I'm always going to feel obligated to let the person who is the subject of the lashon hara going around that it is happening.
where Prof Mrs. Fuckwit was badmouthing my Thursday night professor for her strict adherence to the college's attendance policy that empowers professors to drop from their class any student who has missed more than two sessions of class. apparently she's the only one in the department who does that.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
where Prof Mrs. Fuckwit was badmouthing my Thursday night professor for her strict adherence to the college's attendance policy that empowers professors to drop from their class any student who has missed more than two sessions of class. apparently she's the only one in the department who does that.
if I thought of how to end the gossip in any way aside from notifying the person being talked about, I'd likely try that first.
in academic institutions, many people are already aware of who feels what easy about them & such.
of course this is because of the Fuckwits.
in academic institutions, many people are already aware of who feels what easy about them & such.
of course this is because of the Fuckwits.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
if I thought of how to end the gossip in any way aside from notifying the person being talked about, I'd likely try that first.
in academic institutions, many people are already aware of who feels what easy about them & such.
of course this is because of the Fuckwits.
in academic institutions, many people are already aware of who feels what easy about them & such.
of course this is because of the Fuckwits.
moreover I'm going to throw my lot towards the professors who are being supportive. towards professors whose assignments I like & in whose classes I currently have a good grade. I'm not doing it to curry favour.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
moreover I'm going to throw my lot towards the professors who are being supportive. towards professors whose assignments I like & in whose classes I currently have a good grade. I'm not doing it to curry favour.
while I don't want to be labeled as a tattletale, I quite firmly believe in transparency & the right to know what is being said about you behind your back.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
while I don't want to be labeled as a tattletale, I quite firmly believe in transparency & the right to know what is being said about you behind your back.
I never know what I am supposed to say either to the professor talking about the other or to the professor being talked about.
it depends whether I like which professor is on the receiving end of the equation as to it, I suppose.
it depends whether I like which professor is on the receiving end of the equation as to it, I suppose.
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
I never know what I am supposed to say either to the professor talking about the other or to the professor being talked about.
it depends whether I like which professor is on the receiving end of the equation as to it, I suppose.
it depends whether I like which professor is on the receiving end of the equation as to it, I suppose.
I have no idea if Medi-Cal transportation would be able to make that trip. and if it did it wasn't going to be with a ride service so.
thankfully my father will take us so that's squared away, but most disabled people don't have a supportive (kinda) relative able to do that at short-ish notice.
thankfully my father will take us so that's squared away, but most disabled people don't have a supportive (kinda) relative able to do that at short-ish notice.
October 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I have no idea if Medi-Cal transportation would be able to make that trip. and if it did it wasn't going to be with a ride service so.
thankfully my father will take us so that's squared away, but most disabled people don't have a supportive (kinda) relative able to do that at short-ish notice.
thankfully my father will take us so that's squared away, but most disabled people don't have a supportive (kinda) relative able to do that at short-ish notice.
then you go to the fucking transfer point, wait for the driver from Lancaster to come down and get you.
you do the opposite in the late afternoon if you want to go both to and from there in the same day. basically fucking impossible and very few people actually do it routinely.
you do the opposite in the late afternoon if you want to go both to and from there in the same day. basically fucking impossible and very few people actually do it routinely.
October 24, 2025 at 6:58 PM
then you go to the fucking transfer point, wait for the driver from Lancaster to come down and get you.
you do the opposite in the late afternoon if you want to go both to and from there in the same day. basically fucking impossible and very few people actually do it routinely.
you do the opposite in the late afternoon if you want to go both to and from there in the same day. basically fucking impossible and very few people actually do it routinely.
the exam is in Lancaster because they want to make it so that people cannot go to or make it to their exam. Lancaster is 53 miles away. although it is in the same county, #AccessParatransit does not go there very easily. you need to make your trip for one of the three transfer times. it's early af.
October 24, 2025 at 6:58 PM
the exam is in Lancaster because they want to make it so that people cannot go to or make it to their exam. Lancaster is 53 miles away. although it is in the same county, #AccessParatransit does not go there very easily. you need to make your trip for one of the three transfer times. it's early af.