Ash ✨A Fine Fish✨ 🍊🏴‍☠️🧜‍♂️
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widogastweb.bsky.social
Ash ✨A Fine Fish✨ 🍊🏴‍☠️🧜‍♂️
@widogastweb.bsky.social
560 followers 640 following 3.6K posts
they/he 🏳️‍🌈 your non-binary boywife✨mostly here for the old gay pirates 🏴‍☠️mid-30s, frequently dehydrated 🍊WidogastsWebofFire on AO3🔞
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widogastweb.bsky.social
In my employment news, I’ve started a job cleaning an office/factory building. So…
Ed saying “I’m a fisherman now” but fisherman is blacked out and is replaced by “janitor.”
February 11, 2026 at 10:31 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
IT’S ✨THEM ✨
A Build a Bear ad with a wolf wearing a “Zaddy” shirt and a rabbit wearing a shirt that says “it’s wine o’clock somewhere.”
February 5, 2026 at 3:47 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
I am planning on making some hats and/or scarves with this gorgeous OFMD yarn that I bought over a year ago. The perfect thing to use it for, imho.
Three skeins of yarn The beginning of a crochet project
January 30, 2026 at 11:54 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
I cannot recommend this book enough. A very realistic “self-help” book (loosest of terms) that focuses on getting you to understand that we’re all only humans who have a finite capacity for productivity. Has really helped with the guilt of not writing “enough” and task paralysis.
A book titles Meditations for Mortals: Four Wreks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts by Oliver Burkeman.
January 20, 2026 at 2:05 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Heated Rivalry, but it’s whatever these two have going on.
Two cardinals sitting on branches
January 18, 2026 at 3:05 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Well, I guess it’s time to trim my nails 😝
Selfie of me with a big scratch on my face
January 14, 2026 at 1:30 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Why do work and responsibilities exist? I just wanna hang out with my buddies, eat good food, get tattoos, and pet dogs.

It was a magical time.
Jaime and me smiling in front of a tattoo shop window Two swallow tattoos Jaime and me smiling in front of a red lighthouse on Lake Michigan.
January 12, 2026 at 3:22 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
More proof I need to get out more lol

I consider “stayed” to be like a week or more with close friends/family. Visit seems more like, I have no personal connection there but was there and did touristy things for a decent amount of time.

tenpages.github.io/us-level/us....
January 7, 2026 at 4:45 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
The new year always makes me want to redecorate my house, so guess what I finally got 🦩
A pillow made from the depression robe fabric
January 2, 2026 at 6:27 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
New year, new hair.
A pic of me in the mirror wearing a shirt that says There’s No We in Pizza under a cream flannel. I have black hair and am smiling
December 31, 2025 at 10:09 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Yes, I’ve started a whole note doc just for these. Don’t judge me.
An Apple Notes app note titled “Horny OFMD Fic Thoughts”
December 29, 2025 at 8:54 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Happy Sexual SMonday.
Trans Ed is astounded by how quick Stede is able to get him off since his T dick has grown, and he (very innocently) asks Stede to jerk him off in front of a mirror so he can watch his technique. For science, obviously.
December 29, 2025 at 8:54 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Me rocking up to my family get togethers, knowing it’s going to be hours of getting misgendered and deadnamed:
Shot from SpongeBob of Squidwsrd wearing a button that says “I really wish I weren’t here right now.”
December 25, 2025 at 7:09 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
We’re a good match!
December 22, 2025 at 10:54 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Actually, though, I’d say this is accurate.
Serenity: -you’re a natural romantic who pursues your one ideals -you express your feelings honestly and enjoy deep conversations -you are sensitive to others emotions and tend to have significant mood swings -you have excellent empathy and relate well to the pain and sorrow of others -though you seem easily swayed by others opinions you have firm personal values
December 22, 2025 at 10:49 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Gentlebeard.
A text convo: -Okay, I’m not sure when I’ll be back tbh -Going hard and long today? -Heh I mean…yeah
December 21, 2025 at 6:38 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Got my Covid and flu vaxes yesterday so I’m trying to get through this work shift like
Kelly Kapoor from the Office looking tired.
December 18, 2025 at 3:22 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
I got a pap smear today, and I always love the moment when the doctor’s gone and you’re putting your clothes back on, and then you just catch yourself in the mirror looking like
A picture of Marcus the Worm. He has a lumpy orange body, very long limbs, and bugged eyes.
December 17, 2025 at 10:18 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Happy 4th anniversary to Baby’s First Gender Euphoria.
I—I think I might be hot…😳 Photo description: a selfie of me sitting in front of a row of bookshelves. I have a hand up to my face as I look at the camera.
December 16, 2025 at 2:10 AM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Happy #WIPWednesday! Just a little more of my Christmas fic, where Alma has completely misjudged her dad’s relationship to Santa Claus.
Because Dad got closer––closer––even closer to Santa. So close that he was able to wrap his arms around his neck. He smiled with that secretive grin again and asked, “So, have I been a good boy this year?” “What the––” Louis whispered beside her, but Alma clamped a hand around his mouth before he could blow their cover. To be fair, she was thinking the exact same thing. What the hell, what the hell, what the freaking HELL. She nearly shriveled up into a husk as Santa slid his arms around Dad’s middle and hugged him close––so close that the wispy bits of his white beard curled up against his cheek. “For the most part,” Santa answered, his voice losing its jolliness, going so low that Alma could hardly hear him. “Though, I do have you on record doing some very naughty things.” Dad made a mock frown. “Surely a couple naughty things here and there doesn’t get one on the Naughty List?” “Not usually, no,” Santa said, “but some of those things are pretty deeply naughty.” And Dad leaned in––how was that even possible? There was hardly any space between them anymore––and said, “Maybe I can make up for it?” “Not a lot of time left for that,” Santa chuckled. “Oh, trust me, Mr. Claus,” Dad said. “Once you see your Christmas gift, I’ll be going straight to the top of the Nice List, no question.” “We’ll see about that,” Santa said. And–– No. NO. NO NO NOPE NUH-UH NO WAY NO NO NO.
December 10, 2025 at 10:25 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
I’m doing WIP Waturday because I need you all to get as excited for my dopey little Christmas fic as I am.

Alma and Louis get a little more than they ask for when they spy on Santa Claus.
Alma’s eyes went wide. Her logical arguments all started fading away, because yeah, that wasn’t Dad. Not the right build or height. His back was to them as he took another cookie off the plate and munched, but even without seeing his face, Alma knew that wasn’t her dad. He didn’t move the same way, didn’t stand in place in the awkward-yet-confident way Dad did––kind of like a pelican who thought he was a bald eagle. And the cookies––Dad’s been yapping nonstop about how high his sugar levels were at his last doctor appointment, so he’s been trying to stay away from sweets. There’s no way he’d be eating a plate of homemade snickerdoodles. He saw for himself how much sugar she and Ed put in those. Not a chance he would even go after one of those. And––well––if it wasn’t Dad… “Holy shit,” she muttered. “It’s Santa.” “Told you,” Louis said, shoving her arm. She shoved him back, but her attention was quickly drawn back to the scene in the living room. The plate on the mantle, from what she could see from where she sat, was empty. He must have been hungry––he usually left at least one or two of them for them to have in the morning. As he munched, his back still turned, he leaned down to the foot of the Christmas tree and adjusted the wrapped boxes that sat underneath the pine branches. (Jeez, she’d been so distracted by her whole concept of reality being shattered, she hadn’t even noticed the presents. That’s how serious this was.) He hummed to himself as he did so, and it was even more proof that it wasn’t Dad. His voice was low and buttery, not high and nasally like Dad’s. It was fascinating. Like watching a wild animal in its natural habitat. She wished she brought her phone with her so she could take pictures or a video. Document this somehow so Billy Badminton could choke on his words right in front of her as she presented her irrefutable evidence. Just as she was about to sneak back to her room for it, though, a shadow stretched out across the living room floor from the kitchen doorway. “Oh! Look who it is!” Yep. It definitely wasn’t Dad in a Santa costume. Because Dad himself padded into the living room, already in his silky teal pajamas, gold bathrobe, and house slippers. Weird. He was never usually up so late. Somedays, he was asleep before her or Louis. But he was awake and alert as he walked across the creaky wood flooring, shoving his phone into his bathrobe pocket. He smiled, and it was––weird. It was the kind of smile he had only when he thought no one was looking at him. The kind that made him look like he was in on some kind of secret joke. And Alma knew, even though she couldn’t see his face, Santa was in on the same joke. Just with the way he turned toward Dad and leaned against the mantle on his elbow. “And shouldn’t you be asleep, little boy?” Santa asked. Again, a low tone. A lot closer to the mall Santas she’d encountered in the past. She would have thought that would have been an inaccurate stereotype. Interesting. Dad chuckled as he drew closer. “I thought you’d know if I was awake.” Santa snickered, though it was a bit higher pitched than before. He cleared his throat, though, and said in his lower, jollier voice, “My Santa Senses must be buggy today.” “Mmm,” Dad said with a nod. “Bad day for those to be going haywire, huh?” “Tell me about it.” Dad laughed again. Again, weird. He wasn’t surprised at all about Santa freaking Claus standing in the middle of their living room. It was like they knew each other. Dad had casually mentioned to Louis a few weeks ago that he had Santa’s phone number, so yes, he would for sure get the message about the Lego dinosaur set he wanted. Alma thought he was kidding, just making something up to get Louis to shut up about the Legos already. But maybe it wasn’t a lie. Maybe he was actually friends with Santa. What a thing to keep from them! The betrayal! She’d definitely have to give him a hard time about that later. Except… Oh. Wait. What? Maybe friends wasn’t the right word. Because Dad got closer––closer––even closer to Santa. So close that he was able to wrap his arms around his neck. He smiled with that secretive grin again and asked, “So, have I been a good boy this year?” “What the––” Louis whispered beside her, but Alma clamped a hand around his mouth before he could blow their cover. To be fair, she was thinking the exact same thing. What the hell, what the hell, what the freaking HELL.
December 6, 2025 at 4:12 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
Yes, I may have been Going Through Something™️ this year. Why do you ask?
Spotify wrapped screenshot confirming all of my top songs of the year were from Stick Season by Noah Kahan. Spotify Wrapped screenshot Top artists: 1. Noah Kahan, 2. Chappell Roan 3. Ninja Sex Party 4. Hozier 5. Phoebe Bridgers.
December 3, 2025 at 1:58 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
STOP. This is a selfie checkpoint. You must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.
A selfie of me in the mirror. I’m wearing a purple hat and a black shirt with the Fullmetal Alchemist logo on it.
November 22, 2025 at 3:09 AM
widogastweb.bsky.social
I want to learn to draw solely so I can give Ed Teach novelty claw clips.
A person with long dark hair being held up by a claw clip shaped like a Wet Floor sign that says “CAUTION: OVERSTIMULATED. DO NOT APPROACH”
November 21, 2025 at 4:47 PM
widogastweb.bsky.social
It has been so long since I’ve written smut.
A meme of a cat biting a sparking electrical cord
November 15, 2025 at 1:18 AM