Darkwing Daddy
@wigirldad.bsky.social
Husband, father of three girls and two dogs. Traveler, collector of stories and wisdom, and hopefully a "helper." In middle age, now, I'm aspiring to add writing and screenplays to my hobbies... or maybe I'll start a church.
Me - I'm not saying I'm attractive, but when I undress in the bathroom, I turn the shower on.
My wife - ... you woke me up for that? Really?
My wife - ... you woke me up for that? Really?
March 13, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Me - I'm not saying I'm attractive, but when I undress in the bathroom, I turn the shower on.
My wife - ... you woke me up for that? Really?
My wife - ... you woke me up for that? Really?
Thanks to my 7, I spent some time re-examining the importance of underwear this morning. Still coming to the conclusion that it is important.
February 28, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Thanks to my 7, I spent some time re-examining the importance of underwear this morning. Still coming to the conclusion that it is important.
I once taught my grandmother to use her VCR. Today, I taught my 7, 8, and 11 year olds what a DVD was and how it worked.
I think I'm vintage now.
I think I'm vintage now.
January 21, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I once taught my grandmother to use her VCR. Today, I taught my 7, 8, and 11 year olds what a DVD was and how it worked.
I think I'm vintage now.
I think I'm vintage now.
Peppa Pig. Front view.
January 16, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Peppa Pig. Front view.
P (7) just had her whole world shattered because Red no.3 is now illegal. Like, she's bawling in bed.
"What if they stop making red things? They won't make firetrucks red because red is going to be so unpopular. Then they'll move on to the next color and we'll be left with a world of one color."
"What if they stop making red things? They won't make firetrucks red because red is going to be so unpopular. Then they'll move on to the next color and we'll be left with a world of one color."
January 16, 2025 at 1:31 AM
P (7) just had her whole world shattered because Red no.3 is now illegal. Like, she's bawling in bed.
"What if they stop making red things? They won't make firetrucks red because red is going to be so unpopular. Then they'll move on to the next color and we'll be left with a world of one color."
"What if they stop making red things? They won't make firetrucks red because red is going to be so unpopular. Then they'll move on to the next color and we'll be left with a world of one color."
Most families: kids yell at each other because one is calling the other names.
My house: kids (8 / 11) yell at each other because they disagree on a scientific study about bird and dinosaur bone structure.
Definitely raising nerds.
My house: kids (8 / 11) yell at each other because they disagree on a scientific study about bird and dinosaur bone structure.
Definitely raising nerds.
January 11, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Most families: kids yell at each other because one is calling the other names.
My house: kids (8 / 11) yell at each other because they disagree on a scientific study about bird and dinosaur bone structure.
Definitely raising nerds.
My house: kids (8 / 11) yell at each other because they disagree on a scientific study about bird and dinosaur bone structure.
Definitely raising nerds.
When I was visiting a friend in Seattle, there was a guy who walked around, living his life, in a full-on cosplay of Link. He was known as Link. He dressed like Link. He carried a sword.
What does this look like on the internet? Where can I find that one guy that everyone kind of talks about?
What does this look like on the internet? Where can I find that one guy that everyone kind of talks about?
January 7, 2025 at 8:13 PM
When I was visiting a friend in Seattle, there was a guy who walked around, living his life, in a full-on cosplay of Link. He was known as Link. He dressed like Link. He carried a sword.
What does this look like on the internet? Where can I find that one guy that everyone kind of talks about?
What does this look like on the internet? Where can I find that one guy that everyone kind of talks about?
So it seems like there are narcissists and control freaks here. On the internet. I know, right? So weird that they made it here.
This was our place - a safe space for those of us with ADHD.
This was our place - a safe space for those of us with ADHD.
December 27, 2024 at 4:10 PM
So it seems like there are narcissists and control freaks here. On the internet. I know, right? So weird that they made it here.
This was our place - a safe space for those of us with ADHD.
This was our place - a safe space for those of us with ADHD.
My 8 y/o is on the floor crying because she got "carpet" as her word in charades.
The guesses are wild.
This game is fun.
The guesses are wild.
This game is fun.
December 18, 2024 at 5:18 PM
My 8 y/o is on the floor crying because she got "carpet" as her word in charades.
The guesses are wild.
This game is fun.
The guesses are wild.
This game is fun.
The Field Museum in Chicago has a special exhibit on cats. So here we are, at one of the most prestigious museums in the world, all of history waiting for us, with the museum asking us to touch it.
And we're watching cat videos.
And we're watching cat videos.
December 11, 2024 at 11:19 PM
The Field Museum in Chicago has a special exhibit on cats. So here we are, at one of the most prestigious museums in the world, all of history waiting for us, with the museum asking us to touch it.
And we're watching cat videos.
And we're watching cat videos.
P (6): I came up with a game today. It's called "I want my $2." It's where the one person chases you asking for their $2 until they tackle you or get tired of saying they want it.
80s movies still live.
#Betteroffdead
80s movies still live.
#Betteroffdead
December 5, 2024 at 10:59 PM
P (6): I came up with a game today. It's called "I want my $2." It's where the one person chases you asking for their $2 until they tackle you or get tired of saying they want it.
80s movies still live.
#Betteroffdead
80s movies still live.
#Betteroffdead
I'm going to keep packing new celery in my child's lunch, even though it's never eaten and makes its way back home. I won't subtract celery, only add.
Soon there will be no lunch. Only celery.
Shh. Just celery.
Soon there will be no lunch. Only celery.
Shh. Just celery.
December 4, 2024 at 6:06 PM
I'm going to keep packing new celery in my child's lunch, even though it's never eaten and makes its way back home. I won't subtract celery, only add.
Soon there will be no lunch. Only celery.
Shh. Just celery.
Soon there will be no lunch. Only celery.
Shh. Just celery.
Reposted by Darkwing Daddy
Please note we are not running a special for 18 hoes on the golf course, that was a typo
December 2, 2024 at 9:46 PM
Please note we are not running a special for 18 hoes on the golf course, that was a typo
Reposted by Darkwing Daddy
hostess: How many people for your table?
me: Like a trade?
me: Like a trade?
December 2, 2024 at 8:09 PM
hostess: How many people for your table?
me: Like a trade?
me: Like a trade?
Watching Groundhog's Day puts a weird spin on doing laundry.
November 27, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Watching Groundhog's Day puts a weird spin on doing laundry.
My 8 year old has a theory that Mr. Bean is an alien. In the opening montage, he drops to the street in a beam of light, he doesn't know how to properly interact with anyone, and he's just enough off to be questionable as an adult human.
I think she's on to something.
#bean
I think she's on to something.
#bean
November 22, 2024 at 3:59 PM
My 8 year old has a theory that Mr. Bean is an alien. In the opening montage, he drops to the street in a beam of light, he doesn't know how to properly interact with anyone, and he's just enough off to be questionable as an adult human.
I think she's on to something.
#bean
I think she's on to something.
#bean
I've decided that my kids aren't gen Alpha so much as just gen A.
Per Forrest Gump, that's the greatest generation in the whole wide world.
Per Forrest Gump, that's the greatest generation in the whole wide world.
November 21, 2024 at 1:18 PM
I've decided that my kids aren't gen Alpha so much as just gen A.
Per Forrest Gump, that's the greatest generation in the whole wide world.
Per Forrest Gump, that's the greatest generation in the whole wide world.
Wife: It's so pretty outside!
Me: Under the snow?
Wife: ...everything is so beautiful and white...
Me: Racist.
Me: Under the snow?
Wife: ...everything is so beautiful and white...
Me: Racist.
November 21, 2024 at 12:41 PM
Wife: It's so pretty outside!
Me: Under the snow?
Wife: ...everything is so beautiful and white...
Me: Racist.
Me: Under the snow?
Wife: ...everything is so beautiful and white...
Me: Racist.
My oldest, E, has a health class project to track what she eats.
Making lunches in the morning has never had me this anxious.
Making lunches in the morning has never had me this anxious.
November 21, 2024 at 12:26 PM
My oldest, E, has a health class project to track what she eats.
Making lunches in the morning has never had me this anxious.
Making lunches in the morning has never had me this anxious.
Me: I'm eating healthy today. I had a salad.
My Conscience: That was egg salad - heavy on mayo.
Me: You say potato, I say potata.
Conscience: (slaps head) Dude, those were French fries.
My Conscience: That was egg salad - heavy on mayo.
Me: You say potato, I say potata.
Conscience: (slaps head) Dude, those were French fries.
November 20, 2024 at 8:02 PM
Me: I'm eating healthy today. I had a salad.
My Conscience: That was egg salad - heavy on mayo.
Me: You say potato, I say potata.
Conscience: (slaps head) Dude, those were French fries.
My Conscience: That was egg salad - heavy on mayo.
Me: You say potato, I say potata.
Conscience: (slaps head) Dude, those were French fries.
Reposted by Darkwing Daddy
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
Jim Henson: they have names
May 1, 2023 at 12:01 PM
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
Jim Henson: they have names
Skill unlocked after age 45:
Without trying, I can wake up and my hair makes me look like a Super Mario villain.
#liveyourdreams
Without trying, I can wake up and my hair makes me look like a Super Mario villain.
#liveyourdreams
November 20, 2024 at 12:31 PM
Skill unlocked after age 45:
Without trying, I can wake up and my hair makes me look like a Super Mario villain.
#liveyourdreams
Without trying, I can wake up and my hair makes me look like a Super Mario villain.
#liveyourdreams
Playing Minecraft with the oldest.
Me: Something new. Bundles?
E: What do bundles do when you use them?
Me: Summon Jake from State Farm.
Me: Something new. Bundles?
E: What do bundles do when you use them?
Me: Summon Jake from State Farm.
November 19, 2024 at 11:20 PM
Playing Minecraft with the oldest.
Me: Something new. Bundles?
E: What do bundles do when you use them?
Me: Summon Jake from State Farm.
Me: Something new. Bundles?
E: What do bundles do when you use them?
Me: Summon Jake from State Farm.
Just busted up a dance party being held by the 4yo and 3yo. It's 3 a.m.
Positives:
They were quiet enough that I only heard them after the dog woke me up to go outside.
The two were having fun and getting along well.
Negatives:
IT'S 3AM!!!
Positives:
They were quiet enough that I only heard them after the dog woke me up to go outside.
The two were having fun and getting along well.
Negatives:
IT'S 3AM!!!
November 19, 2024 at 10:54 PM
Just busted up a dance party being held by the 4yo and 3yo. It's 3 a.m.
Positives:
They were quiet enough that I only heard them after the dog woke me up to go outside.
The two were having fun and getting along well.
Negatives:
IT'S 3AM!!!
Positives:
They were quiet enough that I only heard them after the dog woke me up to go outside.
The two were having fun and getting along well.
Negatives:
IT'S 3AM!!!