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wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Wonderful Starfish
@wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
140 followers 150 following 3.2K posts
Psych RN, writer, gamer, parent. Up late on the socials while rocking a fussy baby.

#ReportableEvents- a horror/comedy flash fiction project.

Also, don't use ChatGPT for therapy.
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wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
This happened to my family (with opposite parents) and it fucking sucks. It's been a while since I've played so enjoy my deep cuts.
Apocalypse Chime from the much maligned (fairly probably) Homelands expansion. It permanently destoys everything from Homelands, which seems appropriate. Legacy Weapon from Apocalypse. You know, cause you're building a collection of things that will destroy someone and it wont go away. Later edditions exile, which is a more appropriate phrasing but I have to go with the OG.
December 6, 2025 at 1:20 PM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 62

Original Post 11/27/2017

"Try Before You Buy"

In which we can't have nice things, because that would be bribery.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Try Before You Buy Becky the pharmaceutical rep came in today to show off some new drugs. Apparently she used to bring by free lunches and concert tickets and the like with the samples. Now the government is cracking down on that sort of thing, so she can’t offer material incentives anymore. Today she had some immaterial incentives instead. Dr Hansen got the sensation of waking up when you didn’t realize you had fallen asleep, I got the last thoughts of a dying man. I feel a little weird about accepting that because isn’t that basically taking a bribe?
December 6, 2025 at 5:30 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 61

Original Post 11/24/2017

"Thanks But No Thanks"

In which we count our blessings

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Thanks But No Thanks Worked Thanksgiving. Seeing this place on a holiday is always interesting. Here is what I am thankful for this year: Broad spectrum antibiotics. Eye wash stations. The wards keeping the Thing in the basement contained. Patient controlled analgesic pumps. IV tubing sturdy enough to use to zip line out of a fifth floor window. Cafeteria breadsticks. PRN antiemetics. Beautiful phlebotomists that apparently only I can see.
December 5, 2025 at 11:24 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 60

Original Post 11/22/2017

"Anyone have a pen?"

In which we reveal the first rule of nursing.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#nursing
Anyone have a pen? A basic rule of working in a hospital is to never let your pen out of your sight because nurses will always steal your pen if given a chance. I’ve lost three pens to people on staff since the summer, and found that I’ve accidentally stolen two more. Everyone just reflexively pockets any pen they happen to be holding. I’m trying to figure out why this is. Arleen says it’s just because we always need to take notes. Svetlana says that it’s because the Thing fears knowledge and thus the written word so it won’t attack you if you have pens on you.
December 4, 2025 at 12:50 PM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 59

Original Post 11/20/2017

"Thanksgiving break"

In which we consider holiday options.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Thanksgiving break It’s Thanksgiving break at school, which is great in theory, but in practice it just means that I’m going to be picking up extra shifts. I’ve never seen Thanksgiving in a hospital, so that should be interesting. I hear the cafeteria puts on a nice meal. Alternatively, I found this flyer for a dinner in the North Chapel. It invites people to attend “The Great Feast” and promises activities like “paeans to the horned one”, “the Great Rite”, and charades. I might check that out but it doesn’t mention if there will be vegetarian options.
December 3, 2025 at 3:22 PM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 58

Original Post 11/17/2017

"Fifth Clinical Day in East"

In which alternative medicine is practiced.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Fifth Clinical Day in East Holy shit! I saw a ballpoint pen tracheotomy today! It was just like it looks on TV. So cool. Granted, it was in the OR so I’m not sure why the doctor used a pen instead of any of the sterile medical tools in the room, but still super cool.
December 2, 2025 at 9:58 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 57

Original Post 11/15/2017

"Today I Was Brave"

In which the first step is the hardest.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Today I Was Brave Well, it’s taken me a few weeks but I finally got up the nerve to talk to the girl in phlebotomy. I introduced myself and asked her name and she said “They took my name long ago, when they took everything else.” I asked if I could call her Phoebe since she works in Phlebotomy. She says that she doesn’t work there so much as is imprisoned there, but she’s okay with Phoebe.
December 1, 2025 at 4:36 PM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Today in bad faith arguments...

"Only 20% of nurses hold advanced degrees"

There are well over *4 million* nurses in the country.

800,000 APRNs is more than dentists, pharmacists, and podiatrists combined. Roughly equal to number of practicing physicians.

#nursing
The DoEd further states that assertions that not classifying nursing as a “professional degree” means they don’t view them as professionals is a myth. Instead, they suggest, “The definition of a ‘professional degree’ is an internal definition used by the Department to distinguish among programs that qualify for higher loan limits, not a value judgement about the importance of programs.” They further justify the change in definition noting that only 20% of nurses hold advanced degrees.
November 30, 2025 at 11:28 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 56

Original Post 11/13/2017

"No Longer Covered in Spiders"

In which we say farewell to a beautiful time, but probably for the best.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
No Longer Covered in Spiders Good news! I am no longer covered in spiders! Now that everything has calmed down, I was able to deal with the amounts of spiders that have been all over me for days. According to Dr. Varma they were a colony of self-replicating nano-bots that attached themselves to me during my visit to the Chief of Medicine’s office. It turns out that a quick trip to the Ecumenical Interfaith Worship and Meditation Center was all I needed to get rid of them. There are so many electronics in that room that the EM field just fried their tiny circuits. The spiders were protecting me from being possessed by the spirit army but they would have eventually attempted to reprogram my brain and unleash a nano-plague that would have covered the globe. So both pros and cons there.
November 30, 2025 at 6:59 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 55

Original Post 11/11/2017

"Showing Some Spirit"

In which we wrap this one up

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Showing Some Spirit Well, we did it. The spirits were defeated and everyone is free of their influence. We broke Dr. Varma out of the block of amber the spirits were keeping her in. She was able to use the PA system to read a Sumerian litany that made the spirits recoil in pain. Once we had them on the run, it was a simple matter of forcing them back into South where the Reliquary banished them and freed their victims. All told it took about four and a half hours. The only question that remains is, how do I log this on my time sheet? EDIT: Oh wait, there's an option for that: Image from the Libra Hospital timecard software, drop down of pay codes. Includes the following: Regular Bereavement Discretionary Time Floating Holiday Comp Holiday Holiday Worked Jury Duty Leave without Pay Fighting Spirit Horde Misc Personal Leave Personal Holiday Retro Pay
November 29, 2025 at 9:47 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 54

Original Post 11/11/2017

"Clinical Evaluation Day"

In which I live to regret my commitment to alt text.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Clinical Evaluation Day Today was my first evaluation day for my clinical. It’s a little difficult when your instructor is possessed by a dark spirit. Image of Jaime's midterm clinical evaluation form: UMass Lichfield- Libra Hospital Instructor and Jaime's last name redacted The rubric shows 7 categories of assessment with a grade and instructions comments. The comments are bland reststements kf the category. Jaime receives grades of "Excellent" in professional standards, responsibility, and basic nursing procedures. Jaime receives grades of "Satisfactory" in communication, nursing process, and patient education. Jaime receives a grade of "Unsatisfactory" in the final category, submitting to the domination of the spirit host. Image concludes All told though, it’s a pretty good evaluation. I did get marked down for being covered in spiders however.
November 28, 2025 at 10:46 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 53

Original Post 11/9/2017

"The Last Week Makes More Sense Now"

In which recent events are thrown into a new light.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
The Last Week Makes More Sense Now So I went out for waffles with the janitorial staff yesterday, and they explained to me that back on Halloween when that army of vengeful spirits rose up and assaulted the hospital, they overwhelmed the defenses and took over. They’ve possessed everyone who’s come into the building since then. The only people who haven’t gotten possessed are the janitors, because the spirits don’t want to offend the bearer of the Last Key, Evil Sue-Ellen, because she’s already evil, and me, because I am still covered in spiders. Carlos is saying that if we want to retake the hospital, we’ll need to strike at noon when the spirits are weakest, destroy the amber prison where they’re keeping Dr. Varma, and force the spirit king to touch the Reliquary, which will banish him and his followers until next Halloween. The janitors are set to move tomorrow and want me to join them (Evil Sue-Ellen is a maybe). I have clinical on Fridays, so maybe we can banish the spirit army on Saturday.
November 26, 2025 at 2:53 PM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 52

Original Post 11/8/2017

"Nobody Tells Me Anything"

In which Jamie is always the last to know.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Nobody Tells Me Anything Screenshot of Jaime's phone. It is 6:53 AM and the phone is at 28% battery. Text message conversation with Carlos. C: Janitors are going out for waffles after shift wanna come? J: Totally J: Thanks for including me J: Everyone else is being really mean to me lately C: Yeah, it sucks being the only people in the hospital not possessed J: Wait, what? C: Did you not know that?
November 25, 2025 at 10:03 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 51

Original Post 11/8/2017

"Rats in the Walls"

In which it's a different problem than you think.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Rats in the Walls I’m starting to get worried about the rats I hear in the walls at night. They’re super loud and I’m worried the board of health our whoever is going to shut us down. Edit: I asked one of the janitors about it and he said that the rats aren’t in the walls of the hospital, they’re in the walls of the world. They are loudest where the walls are thinnest. At least I don’t have to worry about the board of health. Spider update: I am still covered in spiders.
November 24, 2025 at 11:04 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 50

Original Post 11/6/2017

"Gate-keeper/Key-master"

In which some doors are intended to be opened and some to remain shut.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Gate-keeper/Key-master I’ve been hanging out with the janitors a lot recently. They’re the only ones who aren’t being weirdly mean to me all of a sudden. (Well, I guess the nurses in South 3 are still mad at me still for the thing with Janice). The janitors are all really nice, especially Mr. Ziyad, who isn’t technically head janitor but everyone follows his lead because he’s been here the longest. Mr. Ziyad is a really interesting guy. I asked him if he would rather be called a custodian, but he prefers the term janitor. “A janitor is one who opens and shuts the doors,” he said, “and what am I if not a keeper of doors?” He shook his key ring and smiled. Then he proceeded to tell me what each of the keys opened: the master keys for each of the hospital wings, the key to the cafeteria freezers, the key to the secret sub-basement no one is supposed to know about, the roof keys, the key to the thirteenth floor offices, the key to all the vending machines, the key to the Reliquary in the Old Chapel in South, the key to the seals on the Thing in the basement, the key that opens the doors between worlds, the key to the Chief of Medicine’s office which Mr. Ziyad won in a riddle contest with one of the trained lions that guards the door, the key to gift shop jewelry case, the key to the mausoleums in the cemetery next to North, and the key to the controlled med lockers. After those there was a large key of tarnished bronze. I asked him what that one was and he gave a smile that was a little sad, “That is the Last Key, my young friend. I hope that I will never use it, but I know that someday I must. That day grows ever closer.” I asked how come there was one more key on the ring after the Last Key and he explained it was for his bike lock and he put it at the end so he wouldn’t lose it in with the others. Like I said, he’s an interesting guy. Also he doesn’t seem to mind that I’m still covered in spiders.
November 23, 2025 at 3:27 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 49

Original Post 11/5/2017

"Third Clinical Day in East"

In which some days are just like that.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Third Clinical Day in East Really rough day in clinical. Working in East is bad enough, but it’s like I can’t do anything right. I came within a centimeter of giving myself an accidental needle sick three separate times. My key card stopped working. I spilled a bed pan all over myself. Twice I got meds out of the Pyxis and realized they were the wrong ones when I got to the bedside, even though I triple checked them. I keep accidentally hitting the switch that turns on the screaming. At lunchtime I found that somehow my food rotted in the fridge. My watch broke. I tripped over eight trash cans. Everyone is being really mean to me. And knives keep flying at my head. Also still covered in spiders, but that hasn’t been bothering me as much.
November 22, 2025 at 6:18 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 48

Original Post 11/3/2017

"Lack of Posts"

In which Jaime wades through the fallout of recent choices

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
#CoveredinSpiders
Lack of Posts Sorry have been behind in posting this week. I’ve been working extra shifts to cover for my “sick day” on Tuesday and I have more exams this week that I need to cram for. Also I’ve been covered in spiders for like 24 hours and I’m not sure what that’s about.
November 21, 2025 at 9:16 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Last are the stylized ones. They can look really cool, aiming for being evocative over narrative but sometimes seem detached from the story. Especially true in genre fiction where they might being trying to look "serious" by not having an elf on the cover.
A design of two snakes that appear to be carved from wood or stone. Looks cool but feels like it's cosplaying as the 5th Season or something Cover with phoenix, Basilisk, and sorting hat. Asian inspired style. Seems like its random elements unless you've read the book and you'll realize that its the climax of the story. An "adult" cover. Red orange purple woodcut style illustration of a generic castle. Designed explicitly so adults can read a children's novel on the bus and not be embarrassed. Maybe other people will think it's Middlemarch or something. I'd be more embarrassed by the giant name of the world's biggest transphobe on the cover but that's just me.
November 20, 2025 at 10:31 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
General vibe covers remove all the issues with scene covers. They say "this is what the book is about" rather than "this happens in the book" and as such have a lot more freedom to communicate a feeling to draw in a reader.

...but they can easily go off the rails.
International covers can get pretty wild. Lots of different paradigms from the anglophone world but sometimes really bizarre. Perhaps because the original publisher isn't as involved and not working with the artist. Case in point, this bizarre image of Harry riding a flying book. What the fuck is this supposed to be? This is why its a vibes cover not a specific scene. It gives the *feeling* of the book without actually being *from* the book
November 20, 2025 at 10:21 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
The imagined scene either very loosely interprets an actual scene or puts together the kind of thong that could happen in the story, even if it doesn't.

Can give the artist more room to play but might confuse audiences.
The cover I had when I first read it. It's sort of the climax with Harry and the Weasleys escaping the chamber but also not, with extra elements to fill out the scene like the big eye in the lower right and the black cat in the window.
November 20, 2025 at 10:21 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Using a scene has the advantages of being easier on the artist, is instantly recognizable to anyone who's read the book, and can be a fireworks factory for a reader to look forward to.

But choosing the scene seems... weirdly hard for some people?
Two more covers for CoS, both, for some ungodly reason, depicting the stupid flying car. They are both still very early scenes, before they actually make it to school, suggesting that the artists weren't actually interested in reading very far in the book.
November 20, 2025 at 10:21 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
So here's my thought on cover illustrations. There are four basic choices that kind fall along a spectrum

Specific scene

Imagined scene

General vibe

Stylized

Pros and cons to each though I think the trend in publishing is towards the stylized end currently.

#booksky
Six covers for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 1: A red woodcut style illustration of a castle that's hard to make out from a distance 2. The flying car going to the Weasley house, one of the first scenes in the book. Happens in chapter 3/18 3. Harry fighting the Basilisk, the climax of the book 4. A robed figure explores a serpentine tunnel 5. The same scene as #2, by a different artist 6. A pencil drawing style image of the characters, not actually a scene
November 20, 2025 at 7:33 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 47

Original Post 10/31/2017

"Halloween Plans"

In which Jaime takes the logical solution.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Halloween Plans Battening down the hatches for Halloween at Libra. According to Dr. Varma the spirits are going to especially violent tomorrow because we’re in an prime numbered year. I asked why the spirits would care about the Gregorian calendar or prime numbers, but Dr. Varma stated doing some calculus to explain it and my eyes started to glaze over. I’ve been working on my plan for surviving the night. I’ll need to do three sets of vitals during the shift, each of which should take a little under an hour. If I come in early, I can leave holy symbols in the rooms I’ll need to visit, and stash a few two liter bottles of holy water in the chapel. With a little bit of luck and some good timing, I can douse myself in holy water, make it to each room in time, take blood pressure, pulse, temperature, respirations, and 02 sat, perform hand hygiene, and make it back before the spirits devour my soul. EDIT: new plan, I’m just going to call out tomorrow and fall asleep watching The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.
November 20, 2025 at 7:14 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 46

Original Post 10/25/2017

"Head Office"

In which administrative communication avenues are explored.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Head Office So I was sent up to the Chief of Medicine’s office today. There was a this petition circulating through the staff that someone had to bring up. I got chosen because, according to one of the Sue-Ellens, being a student as well as an employee gives me some protection. “So he can’t fire me without calling UMass?” I asked. “So he can’t set you on fire without calling UMass,” she explained. I think maybe I got chosen because, technically, I killed Janice last week. The Chief of Medicine’s office is on the top floor of the Lobby. He has a private elevator but regular employee badges won’t open it, so instead you have to take the stairs. The stairs are this one stone spiral staircase that starts in the secret sub basement no one is allowed to know about and only goes to the office, so that’s a pain. At the top are massive mahogany doors guarded by trained lions. The lions sniffed me up and down and swiped me with a metal detector wand and let me pass. The doors opened and I walked down an impossibly long hall past portraits of previous Chiefs of Medicine, Ming vases, and the occasional flame burst to a desk where a secretary was playing with her phone. I told her that I was here to bring up the staff petition. She said in order to do that I would need to climb to the top of South where a falcon nests and give it three things: the left hand of a murdered man, the blood of a child, and a 15mg tab of Oxycodone. The falcon would bring the petition to his window. I asked if there was another way since I don’t have access to the med closets as a CNA, and she said I could also use the document scanner and email him. Ug, I hate using that thing.
November 19, 2025 at 9:59 AM
wonderfulstarfish.bsky.social
Reportable Events, episode 45

Original Post 10/23/2017

"Putting the 'O My' in Phlebotomy"

In which Jaime hates the post title almost as much as I do.

#flashfiction
#ReportableEvents
Putting the "O My" in Phlebotomy Wow that’s a terrible title. So I was walking through South and that girl in Phlebotomy smiled at me again. I think maybe she likes me? I don’t know exactly. It’s hard to get independent confirmation since apparently I’m the only one who can see her. I think that’s a good sign, though right?
November 18, 2025 at 1:37 PM