WST Fake Pitchbot
@wstpitchbot.bsky.social
A parody of American soccer journalism and content creation. Have a tip? DMs open
Pinned
From the Ernst Tanner school of international soccer stereotyping
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 AM
From the Ernst Tanner school of international soccer stereotyping
Two regular guys, backed by a totally normal LA based real estate mogul, who complain about “access” and the “old boys club” ruining the USMNT display a comment from said real estate mogul boasting of his access and opportunity for influence over the USMNT. You just can’t make this up
November 19, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Two regular guys, backed by a totally normal LA based real estate mogul, who complain about “access” and the “old boys club” ruining the USMNT display a comment from said real estate mogul boasting of his access and opportunity for influence over the USMNT. You just can’t make this up
If welcoming Cristiano Ronaldo into the country during the 2026 World Cup is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.
We should be deporting bad hombres who enter our country illegally and welcoming the greatest athletes of our time. Protect our borders and protect the world’s game.
By: Alexi Lalas
We should be deporting bad hombres who enter our country illegally and welcoming the greatest athletes of our time. Protect our borders and protect the world’s game.
By: Alexi Lalas
November 18, 2025 at 5:47 PM
If welcoming Cristiano Ronaldo into the country during the 2026 World Cup is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.
We should be deporting bad hombres who enter our country illegally and welcoming the greatest athletes of our time. Protect our borders and protect the world’s game.
By: Alexi Lalas
We should be deporting bad hombres who enter our country illegally and welcoming the greatest athletes of our time. Protect our borders and protect the world’s game.
By: Alexi Lalas
Totally unrelated to Portugal officially qualifying for the ‘26 World Cup, Cristiano Ronaldo will now be meeting with President Trump in the Oval Office alongside MBS. Wonder what they could be talking about…
November 18, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Totally unrelated to Portugal officially qualifying for the ‘26 World Cup, Cristiano Ronaldo will now be meeting with President Trump in the Oval Office alongside MBS. Wonder what they could be talking about…
Sure, Apple dropped its 2027 opt-out clause, committed to 2029 and is going to pay MORE to MLS as part of the revised distribution deal with the league. It’s never been more obvious just how frustrated Tim Apple is with this deal. It’s a complete DISASTER!
By: MLS Moves
By: MLS Moves
November 16, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Sure, Apple dropped its 2027 opt-out clause, committed to 2029 and is going to pay MORE to MLS as part of the revised distribution deal with the league. It’s never been more obvious just how frustrated Tim Apple is with this deal. It’s a complete DISASTER!
By: MLS Moves
By: MLS Moves
I agree with Poch when he says “our fans need to be fans of the US men's national team. They follow our crest, our colors…the players need the support of the fans." He’s obviously talking to the Gio haters, specifically. It’s OK to not support Roldan or Barfsten.
By: 11Yanks
By: 11Yanks
November 16, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I agree with Poch when he says “our fans need to be fans of the US men's national team. They follow our crest, our colors…the players need the support of the fans." He’s obviously talking to the Gio haters, specifically. It’s OK to not support Roldan or Barfsten.
By: 11Yanks
By: 11Yanks
Has anyone needed the return of the NASL’s Team America more than Gio Reyna?
November 16, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Has anyone needed the return of the NASL’s Team America more than Gio Reyna?
Did Pochettino and Reyna hit up Arfsten’s barber before the game?
November 15, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Did Pochettino and Reyna hit up Arfsten’s barber before the game?
Megyn Kelly and I both find it hard to define exactly what a “minor” is.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
November 14, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Megyn Kelly and I both find it hard to define exactly what a “minor” is.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
MLS moving to a Euro calendar is perfect. Nothing screams “we are a serious soccer nation with our own identity” like immediately abandoning that identity to follow the cool kids. What’s next? Pro/Rel?
November 14, 2025 at 12:44 AM
MLS moving to a Euro calendar is perfect. Nothing screams “we are a serious soccer nation with our own identity” like immediately abandoning that identity to follow the cool kids. What’s next? Pro/Rel?
Op-ed | I love MLS. I love it in the way people love vinyl records, pour-over coffee, and inconvenient transportation options. MLS is meaningful because it’s inconvenient. Because it exists just slightly beyond the reach of the uninitiated.
That’s why this feels…wrong.
By Matt Doyle
That’s why this feels…wrong.
By Matt Doyle
BREAKING: MLS will come out from behind the separate MLS Season Pass subscription beginning in 2026, per sources.
All games will be available on the Apple TV streaming service.
www.nytimes.com/athletic/680...
All games will be available on the Apple TV streaming service.
www.nytimes.com/athletic/680...
MLS, Apple TV to bring games outside of extra paywall in 2026: Sources
Beginning next season, MLS games will be even more accessible via Apple TV
www.nytimes.com
November 13, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Op-ed | I love MLS. I love it in the way people love vinyl records, pour-over coffee, and inconvenient transportation options. MLS is meaningful because it’s inconvenient. Because it exists just slightly beyond the reach of the uninitiated.
That’s why this feels…wrong.
By Matt Doyle
That’s why this feels…wrong.
By Matt Doyle
People think this is a win because MLS will reach tens of millions more Apple TV subscribers. But my concern is simple: what if even MORE people now see players I already decided weren’t good enough for the USMNT?
By: Tactical Manager
By: Tactical Manager
November 13, 2025 at 6:08 PM
People think this is a win because MLS will reach tens of millions more Apple TV subscribers. But my concern is simple: what if even MORE people now see players I already decided weren’t good enough for the USMNT?
By: Tactical Manager
By: Tactical Manager
If Don Garber and Apple were serious about turning MLS into a proper football league, matches wouldn't be contained within one app. They would be hidden behind multiple cable tiers, Peacock, and the occasional random USA Network listing.
November 13, 2025 at 6:05 PM
If Don Garber and Apple were serious about turning MLS into a proper football league, matches wouldn't be contained within one app. They would be hidden behind multiple cable tiers, Peacock, and the occasional random USA Network listing.
MLS dropping the separate paywall is interesting, but let’s not get carried away. Just because tens of millions more people can now watch MLS doesn’t mean they should when Fulham vs. Burnley exists.
November 13, 2025 at 6:03 PM
MLS dropping the separate paywall is interesting, but let’s not get carried away. Just because tens of millions more people can now watch MLS doesn’t mean they should when Fulham vs. Burnley exists.
It’s time to turn the page on Gio’s behavior at the ‘22 World Cup. He’s suffering enough, so let’s stop beating that same old dead horse. Gregg Berhalter was the one to blame for that entire situation anyway. We’re in the mess we’re in today because of that bald fraud.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
Mauricio Pochettino prizes being a good teammate. How does the #USMNT coach square that with Gio Reyna’s 2022 World Cup?
"The past is in the past,” Pochettino told me this week. “We’ll give him the opportunity to show he’s more mature, behave, then perform.”
www.foxsports.com/stories/socc...
"The past is in the past,” Pochettino told me this week. “We’ll give him the opportunity to show he’s more mature, behave, then perform.”
www.foxsports.com/stories/socc...
What Does Mauricio Pochettino Want From Gio Reyna? 'Show He’s More Mature'
What's Mauricio Pochettino's expectation for Gio Reyna? "If a player doesn’t behave well, he’s not going to be with us."
www.foxsports.com
November 13, 2025 at 12:59 PM
It’s time to turn the page on Gio’s behavior at the ‘22 World Cup. He’s suffering enough, so let’s stop beating that same old dead horse. Gregg Berhalter was the one to blame for that entire situation anyway. We’re in the mess we’re in today because of that bald fraud.
By: 11 Yanks
By: 11 Yanks
Pilot for the World Cup ‘26 halftime shows alongside Alexi Lalas, Carli Lloyd and Elizabeth Eddy
Government is shut down. Chaos in airports. 42 million going hungry. 24 million face skyrocketing healthcare costs. Economy in turmoil. And the president of the United States is in the Fox broadcast booth calling plays for a football game.
November 10, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Pilot for the World Cup ‘26 halftime shows alongside Alexi Lalas, Carli Lloyd and Elizabeth Eddy
Have American players have finally made it? Dominating the likes of Tajikistan at youth level. World Cup ‘26 Champs
November 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Have American players have finally made it? Dominating the likes of Tajikistan at youth level. World Cup ‘26 Champs
Sure, Patrick Agyemang dunked on another Championship defender, but in the 3 games I watched he appears to have regressed since his time in MLS, which I did not watch.
By: USMNT_Stan
By: USMNT_Stan
November 8, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Sure, Patrick Agyemang dunked on another Championship defender, but in the 3 games I watched he appears to have regressed since his time in MLS, which I did not watch.
By: USMNT_Stan
By: USMNT_Stan
Pochettino continues his track record of calling up MLS lifers, under-performers and unqualified players.
Here’s why he’s gotten the Gio decision right 🧵 👇
By: 11 Yanks
Here’s why he’s gotten the Gio decision right 🧵 👇
By: 11 Yanks
November 6, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Pochettino continues his track record of calling up MLS lifers, under-performers and unqualified players.
Here’s why he’s gotten the Gio decision right 🧵 👇
By: 11 Yanks
Here’s why he’s gotten the Gio decision right 🧵 👇
By: 11 Yanks
When I played, everyone knew their position. Now people tell me “gender is fluid.” Okay—but not in a 4-4-2.
By: Alexi Lalas
By: Alexi Lalas
November 6, 2025 at 12:40 AM
When I played, everyone knew their position. Now people tell me “gender is fluid.” Okay—but not in a 4-4-2.
By: Alexi Lalas
By: Alexi Lalas
BREAKING: USL Championship side North Carolina FC informs players they will not be fielding a team in 2026, per sources.
NCFC have a playoff game on Saturday. Sources expect club will finish playoff run.
Players with contracts now end after two months.
www.nytimes.com/athletic/677...
NCFC have a playoff game on Saturday. Sources expect club will finish playoff run.
Players with contracts now end after two months.
www.nytimes.com/athletic/677...
USL club North Carolina FC tells players it won't field a team in 2026
www.nytimes.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Gio continues to be a prolific scorer of own goals
“I’m not just going to sort of sit here and take all the blame for something that was made out to be completely my fault…I was just upset that I wasn’t really playing.”
Completely tone deaf from Gio Reyna given Pochettino’s team-first messaging. #USMNT apnews.com/article/gio-...
Completely tone deaf from Gio Reyna given Pochettino’s team-first messaging. #USMNT apnews.com/article/gio-...
Gio Reyna tells AP about plans to reboot career with new club and return to US team for World Cup
Gio Reyna went to the 2022 World Cup as one of United States’ brightest young soccer stars. He came back amid controversy over his commitment and his parents’ conflict with the then-coach.
apnews.com
October 28, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Gio continues to be a prolific scorer of own goals
Reposted by WST Fake Pitchbot
The American Soccer Playoff Bracket closes at Inter Miami’s kickoff tonight: 8pm ET.
Fill out your bracket and stand a chance to win!
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
Fill out your bracket and stand a chance to win!
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
American Soccer Playoff Challenge
Please read here for details on prizes and the challenge.
Notes Below:
1. This sheet only includes MLS Playoffs. To be eligible for the grand prize, YOU MUST COMPETE IN THE USL AND NWSL CHALLENGES ...
docs.google.com
October 24, 2025 at 4:51 PM
The American Soccer Playoff Bracket closes at Inter Miami’s kickoff tonight: 8pm ET.
Fill out your bracket and stand a chance to win!
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
Fill out your bracket and stand a chance to win!
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
In a direct blow to Matt Doyle, Mauricio Pochettino kills Camp Cupcake.
U.S. Soccer will not hold a January camp this year.
The annual exercise will return in December 2026, with future camps likely to be held in the same month going forward.
The reasoning, quotes from USSF VP of Sporting Oguchi Onyewu and more inside:
www.nytimes.com/athletic/674...
The annual exercise will return in December 2026, with future camps likely to be held in the same month going forward.
The reasoning, quotes from USSF VP of Sporting Oguchi Onyewu and more inside:
www.nytimes.com/athletic/674...
USMNT January camp will not take place in 2026, ahead of World Cup
The yearly exercise that almost exclusively features domestic-based players won't take place this winter, The Athletic has learned
www.nytimes.com
October 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
In a direct blow to Matt Doyle, Mauricio Pochettino kills Camp Cupcake.
Messi, the GOAT 🐐, extends his stay at the world's preeminent soccer retirement home. What makes this the best decision for Messi and an awful idea for MLS 🧵👇
October 23, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Messi, the GOAT 🐐, extends his stay at the world's preeminent soccer retirement home. What makes this the best decision for Messi and an awful idea for MLS 🧵👇