If they had the awareness to notice it they’d feel like shit

I’ve got all jersey cotton everything for my bed, it’s so heavy and cosy, don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to anything else

I like to think it was willpower but the actual deciding factor was that I didn’t bump into anyone I know, which is typically the catalyst for turning a couple quiet ones into staying until closing time

No wonder my loaves of bread are always so lethargic and depressed, I don’t have the infrastructure to accomodate their playful nature

He also did a very racist impression of a woman who dared to ask him a question that it straight up is his job to answer

Real, a proper old money person who doesn’t know how the world works

I turned 29.5 on Wednesday, after work beers may actually be what life is about

Unfortunately the non-normals at work aren’t the kind you’d remotely consider being in a polycule with. Lovely people though

We’ve discussed plans to recruit at least the third and fourth most normal people for next week, if not more

Could be a tapeworm that’s a fussy eater? Ask what it likes