thank you, love 🖤🖤🖤

thank you 🫶🏼 the hospice nurse was just lovely & weirdly enough, her mom also died of leptomeningeal disease. I just hate the thought of moving her to multiple places at this point, but who knows how long it’s going to take.
it’s so hard. lifting h20 hurts my back & I dropped 5lbs like *that*

I hope you are right. women are so fucking angry. I learned very young that the world is not kind & feel like I’m failing at shielding my own kid from the heavy shit rn.
that reminds me that my “big sister” in 1st grade was actually raped & sunk in a lake a few years later. god I have so much rage

she is halfway to vegetable state already. healthcare in this country is fucking cruel

we did a virtual call (only good for 48hrs) w a hospice nurse yesterday & she said she absolutely qualifies but the place she wants to go (the only wish she ever expressed to me ~1yr ago) is acute care & if she doesn’t pass in 1-2 weeks we will have to move her to a different facility???

& if this trend continues where I am feeling worse by the minute I’m not even going to be allowed on the premises. cool cool how do I fucking navigate this shit when I am literally falling apart myself

tomorrow I have to do some combo of either repealing my mom’s discharge from rehab, finding a long term care facility, facilitating another hospice evaluation, securing an ambulance transport to said hospice across the state, or organizing 24/7 care in her apt. she’s slated for discharge on tuesday

I hope it spontaneously combusts 🎁

☑️ had my sil do some recon on rehab facilities
☑️ paid her timeshare dues
☑️ reached out to renters to finish up paperwork
☑️ talked w hospital nurse & outside facility about rehab placement
☑️ forwarded her mail to me

& ya know also trying to stay afloat w my own life as man flew out this am 🫠

thanks dude. thank you so much for that.

aaaaaand surgery has been pushed to tomorrow bc fuckface fed her a smoothie

all 4 bedrooms upstairs were connected like a horseshoe, & cj’s current room was not accessible from the hall. you had to either go through the guest room or circle around through the former nursery/our closet. never seen anything like it before lol

we had so many rooms when we moved in that we had to create hallways bc there were just rooms attached to rooms attached to rooms lol. old house problems

ty ♥️

certainly v scary at such a young age! this is her second go round w hydrocephalus. she had a ventriculostomy that was very close to needing a shunt two years ago. time is of the essence & we’re just at a standstill. hoping the shunt is effective but the necessity of it is indicative of smth bad imo

still no transfer nor surgery. this is a fucking shit show.

screaming crying throwing up into the void is more like it lol