The Zeal Corporation
@zealceo.bsky.social
Our Goal is to Destroy Mankind!
Well we did it. We caught the car.
Hooray.
Hooray.
November 10, 2024 at 8:07 AM
Well we did it. We caught the car.
Hooray.
Hooray.
Busy week for the Zeal Corporation, unfortunately unsuccessful in our attempt to seed Hurricane Helene with alligators. Completely unrelated, would anyone like to buy four hundred slightly annoyed alligators.
September 28, 2024 at 7:52 AM
Busy week for the Zeal Corporation, unfortunately unsuccessful in our attempt to seed Hurricane Helene with alligators. Completely unrelated, would anyone like to buy four hundred slightly annoyed alligators.
The Zeal Corporation demands more people use Bluesky so this number becomes more impressive.
September 17, 2024 at 1:46 AM
The Zeal Corporation demands more people use Bluesky so this number becomes more impressive.
The Zeal Corporation would like to issue a formal apology to Elon Musk for the supbar quality of the yes-men we've been leasing to him. We would apologize on Twitter, but that site sucks.
September 16, 2024 at 8:30 PM
The Zeal Corporation would like to issue a formal apology to Elon Musk for the supbar quality of the yes-men we've been leasing to him. We would apologize on Twitter, but that site sucks.
Having a concept of a plan is what we tell our shareholders every time one asks why we haven't destroyed mankind yet.
September 11, 2024 at 7:16 AM
Having a concept of a plan is what we tell our shareholders every time one asks why we haven't destroyed mankind yet.
Thulsa Doom Nooooooooooooo
September 9, 2024 at 9:16 PM
Thulsa Doom Nooooooooooooo
Your American tyrant Trump now leads again in national polling, we delight in seeing how determined mankind is to destroy itself and do so with a smile.
September 9, 2024 at 3:43 AM
Your American tyrant Trump now leads again in national polling, we delight in seeing how determined mankind is to destroy itself and do so with a smile.
The Zeal Corporation has recently been made aware that some of you have a hobby of disparaging antivenom while handling deadly snakes and let us just say; top notch work. No notes, except enthusiastic encouragement.
September 8, 2024 at 8:26 PM
The Zeal Corporation has recently been made aware that some of you have a hobby of disparaging antivenom while handling deadly snakes and let us just say; top notch work. No notes, except enthusiastic encouragement.
Remember, Trump is already past the average life expectancy for men in the United States. If he wins and then dies, JD Vance becomes President of the United States.
September 4, 2024 at 3:21 AM
Remember, Trump is already past the average life expectancy for men in the United States. If he wins and then dies, JD Vance becomes President of the United States.
To all Brazilians joining Bluesky; the Zeal Corporation respects your nation's enthusiastic celebrations of life in the face of your nation's overwhelming danger of death.
September 1, 2024 at 1:17 AM
To all Brazilians joining Bluesky; the Zeal Corporation respects your nation's enthusiastic celebrations of life in the face of your nation's overwhelming danger of death.
The Zeal Corporation embraces the idea of eating the rich. And once they've been eaten, eat the people who were next richest after them. Then keep going down that line. In fact, just start eating people. We'll tell you when to stop.
August 26, 2024 at 1:38 AM
The Zeal Corporation embraces the idea of eating the rich. And once they've been eaten, eat the people who were next richest after them. Then keep going down that line. In fact, just start eating people. We'll tell you when to stop.
Science Bluesky, how many seagulls would, hypothetically, need to be tethered to the moon to pull it into the Earth.
August 21, 2024 at 2:28 AM
Science Bluesky, how many seagulls would, hypothetically, need to be tethered to the moon to pull it into the Earth.
Utterly disingenuous of Joe Biden to state that Donald Trump never built anything, as if criminal empires just fall out of a coconut tree.
August 20, 2024 at 6:33 AM
Utterly disingenuous of Joe Biden to state that Donald Trump never built anything, as if criminal empires just fall out of a coconut tree.
The great thing about the United States is a normal, qualified candidate stepped in and seized all the momentum against someone criminally unqualified and the election is still essentially a coin flip because most of you Americans would rather someone else get hurt than you get help.
August 18, 2024 at 3:37 AM
The great thing about the United States is a normal, qualified candidate stepped in and seized all the momentum against someone criminally unqualified and the election is still essentially a coin flip because most of you Americans would rather someone else get hurt than you get help.
The Zeal Corporation sees many of your felines on Bluesky. This is our office cat, sitting in perpetual judgment of your faults.
August 17, 2024 at 1:07 AM
The Zeal Corporation sees many of your felines on Bluesky. This is our office cat, sitting in perpetual judgment of your faults.
Piss everyone off by naming a thing you have no interest in:
The continued survival of mankind
The continued survival of mankind
Piss everyone off by naming a thing you have no interest in:
Beer
Beer
Piss everyone off by naming a thing you have no interest in:
Ultimate Fighting
Ultimate Fighting
August 14, 2024 at 2:03 AM
Piss everyone off by naming a thing you have no interest in:
The continued survival of mankind
The continued survival of mankind
The Zeal Corporation urges every American to check and see if reproductive rights are on the ballot in your state this November. Remember our official stance: No one has a right to reproduce, ever.
August 13, 2024 at 2:53 AM
The Zeal Corporation urges every American to check and see if reproductive rights are on the ballot in your state this November. Remember our official stance: No one has a right to reproduce, ever.
The idea that a man of such steadfast defiance and bravery as Elon Musk would sabotage the Trump interview simply because the EU told him they would pound his shit in if he personally spread disinformation is ridiculous.
August 13, 2024 at 2:24 AM
The idea that a man of such steadfast defiance and bravery as Elon Musk would sabotage the Trump interview simply because the EU told him they would pound his shit in if he personally spread disinformation is ridiculous.
Massive DDOS attacks don't just fall out of a coconut tree.
August 13, 2024 at 2:20 AM
Massive DDOS attacks don't just fall out of a coconut tree.
The Harris campaign can try to hide it, but all of American politics has been AI for the last decade. Large language models have been running the government since 2015. If you go to the Capitol building in real life it's a Spirit Halloween.
August 12, 2024 at 7:19 AM
The Harris campaign can try to hide it, but all of American politics has been AI for the last decade. Large language models have been running the government since 2015. If you go to the Capitol building in real life it's a Spirit Halloween.
The Zeal Corporation continues to produce Disney's live action ventures, we got the idea from Doctor Forrester on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
August 11, 2024 at 2:48 AM
The Zeal Corporation continues to produce Disney's live action ventures, we got the idea from Doctor Forrester on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Look, the Trump campaign has training videos for all its members on implementing Project 2025 so they'll know how NOT to do it.
August 11, 2024 at 2:38 AM
Look, the Trump campaign has training videos for all its members on implementing Project 2025 so they'll know how NOT to do it.
The Zeal Corporation has seen the Vance dossier, and wants to preemptively state let he whom has never paid for Japanese ball torture while dressed as a dolphin and singing the theme from Flipper cast the first stone.
August 10, 2024 at 9:51 PM
The Zeal Corporation has seen the Vance dossier, and wants to preemptively state let he whom has never paid for Japanese ball torture while dressed as a dolphin and singing the theme from Flipper cast the first stone.
"Don't try this at home" warnings are simply encouraging you to do it at someone else's house.
August 8, 2024 at 7:56 AM
"Don't try this at home" warnings are simply encouraging you to do it at someone else's house.
The Zeal Corporation's top team of Behavionomers have analyzed Tim Walz and determined he has the characteristics of a person raised as a child by Mr. Rogers and brought into middle age by Hank Hill.
August 8, 2024 at 7:48 AM
The Zeal Corporation's top team of Behavionomers have analyzed Tim Walz and determined he has the characteristics of a person raised as a child by Mr. Rogers and brought into middle age by Hank Hill.