Ellie 🏳️⚧️ 🔞
@zerotrazad.bsky.social
27 | any pronouns | vent account
I INTERACT WITH NSFW ACCOUNTS!
SOME NSFW POSTS | MINORS DNI
Trans rights are human rights.
PFP: @ghouliebabey.bsky.social
I INTERACT WITH NSFW ACCOUNTS!
SOME NSFW POSTS | MINORS DNI
Trans rights are human rights.
PFP: @ghouliebabey.bsky.social
Pinned
Ellie 🏳️⚧️ 🔞
@zerotrazad.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Hi, I'm Ellie, and these topics I like and am interested in talking about!
- FFXIV (story mostly)
- Yakuza / LaD
- Metaphor: ReFantazio
- Fire Emblem
- Fortnite
- DOOM
- Castlevania
- Vocaloid
- Elder Scrolls
- Pokemon
- Writing/Fanfic
- Bleach
- Devil May Cry
- Diablo
- Megaman
- Monster Hunter
- FFXIV (story mostly)
- Yakuza / LaD
- Metaphor: ReFantazio
- Fire Emblem
- Fortnite
- DOOM
- Castlevania
- Vocaloid
- Elder Scrolls
- Pokemon
- Writing/Fanfic
- Bleach
- Devil May Cry
- Diablo
- Megaman
- Monster Hunter
...reached a moment for the third time where it feels like my medication isn't doing anything, which makes me realize that Prozac alone isn't going to help, but ATP, I don't know where to start. I'm pretty sure I have a good idea where to start, but it's going to take forever to get there.
December 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
...reached a moment for the third time where it feels like my medication isn't doing anything, which makes me realize that Prozac alone isn't going to help, but ATP, I don't know where to start. I'm pretty sure I have a good idea where to start, but it's going to take forever to get there.
I'm trying my best. I really am. I just can't physically keep up with the demands...
December 15, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I'm trying my best. I really am. I just can't physically keep up with the demands...
Every now and then, work just breaks me down to such an extremely physical degree that I just completely disassociate, and then come out of it feeling like the most horrid failure ever lol
After all, if I physically can't keep up, how can I mentally keep up?
After all, if I physically can't keep up, how can I mentally keep up?
December 14, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Every now and then, work just breaks me down to such an extremely physical degree that I just completely disassociate, and then come out of it feeling like the most horrid failure ever lol
After all, if I physically can't keep up, how can I mentally keep up?
After all, if I physically can't keep up, how can I mentally keep up?
I can tell life is improving for me, because I have not felt the need to vent here. I feel like everything is so much more manageable now.
October 19, 2025 at 9:49 PM
I can tell life is improving for me, because I have not felt the need to vent here. I feel like everything is so much more manageable now.
I have spent so long in survival mode I forgot how to enjoy life lol
September 28, 2025 at 2:12 PM
I have spent so long in survival mode I forgot how to enjoy life lol
If there's one thing I've noticed about myself, it's that I am very impatient when learning new things. Not because I don't care to learn, but like...sort of a guilt for not being as adept at it as I'd like to be? I compare myself a lot to others, and I have to unlearn that. x.x
August 28, 2025 at 10:38 PM
If there's one thing I've noticed about myself, it's that I am very impatient when learning new things. Not because I don't care to learn, but like...sort of a guilt for not being as adept at it as I'd like to be? I compare myself a lot to others, and I have to unlearn that. x.x
Find myself questioning whether or not I "deserve" to eat a whole lot, which is... Kind of a horrible indication that my antidepressants aren't working as well as I'd like to. Either that or therapy still has a long way to go. Probably both.
August 17, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Find myself questioning whether or not I "deserve" to eat a whole lot, which is... Kind of a horrible indication that my antidepressants aren't working as well as I'd like to. Either that or therapy still has a long way to go. Probably both.
It's sad. I genuinely struggle to think of myself because I genuinely can't see myself in any meaningful way. And that just tears me up inside. I feel aimless. All I can see and hope to do is make the world a better place for others. With what limited time and resources I have. And then fall short.
August 13, 2025 at 12:28 AM
It's sad. I genuinely struggle to think of myself because I genuinely can't see myself in any meaningful way. And that just tears me up inside. I feel aimless. All I can see and hope to do is make the world a better place for others. With what limited time and resources I have. And then fall short.
feel like I just undid several sessions of therapy lol
August 6, 2025 at 6:25 PM
feel like I just undid several sessions of therapy lol
Extremely funny and kind of cute that my new immediate response to "okay that's some bullshit" moments in my life is just to shrink inside my mind and imagine my blorbo ship lmao
"work sucks by my blorbo kissing her wife doesn't" can move MOUNTAINS on my worst days
"work sucks by my blorbo kissing her wife doesn't" can move MOUNTAINS on my worst days
July 28, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Extremely funny and kind of cute that my new immediate response to "okay that's some bullshit" moments in my life is just to shrink inside my mind and imagine my blorbo ship lmao
"work sucks by my blorbo kissing her wife doesn't" can move MOUNTAINS on my worst days
"work sucks by my blorbo kissing her wife doesn't" can move MOUNTAINS on my worst days
For once, I can finally say that I've learned to love my creative process and enjoy the work I put out. I've finally learned to create for myself, and it's such an overwhelmingly awesome experience.
July 25, 2025 at 4:13 PM
For once, I can finally say that I've learned to love my creative process and enjoy the work I put out. I've finally learned to create for myself, and it's such an overwhelmingly awesome experience.
Three goals I want to work on in 2025:
1. Finding the "gray" during black/white thinking
2. Appreciating the present as it happens, not in retrospect, not fearing the future
3. Empathize with others by understanding how I'm actually being perceived, not by how I perceive how others perceive me
1. Finding the "gray" during black/white thinking
2. Appreciating the present as it happens, not in retrospect, not fearing the future
3. Empathize with others by understanding how I'm actually being perceived, not by how I perceive how others perceive me
July 11, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Three goals I want to work on in 2025:
1. Finding the "gray" during black/white thinking
2. Appreciating the present as it happens, not in retrospect, not fearing the future
3. Empathize with others by understanding how I'm actually being perceived, not by how I perceive how others perceive me
1. Finding the "gray" during black/white thinking
2. Appreciating the present as it happens, not in retrospect, not fearing the future
3. Empathize with others by understanding how I'm actually being perceived, not by how I perceive how others perceive me
strange ask, but does anyone have any recommendations for Self Help. books that they found particularly resonating? I've been doing a lot of self introspection as of late, and started by reading these three books as on recommendation. They've been... really kind of eye opening in a lot of ways.
July 8, 2025 at 2:36 PM
strange ask, but does anyone have any recommendations for Self Help. books that they found particularly resonating? I've been doing a lot of self introspection as of late, and started by reading these three books as on recommendation. They've been... really kind of eye opening in a lot of ways.
My antidepressants giving me irregular heartbeats really suck when I have to walk an hour and a half to work every day... Coffee pretty much makes my chest hurt now, and it really sucks cuz I love coffee lol
June 27, 2025 at 4:23 PM
My antidepressants giving me irregular heartbeats really suck when I have to walk an hour and a half to work every day... Coffee pretty much makes my chest hurt now, and it really sucks cuz I love coffee lol
why is it that whenever I have my worst anxiety attacks, it's always when people are busy and not around
June 14, 2025 at 6:37 PM
why is it that whenever I have my worst anxiety attacks, it's always when people are busy and not around
Even with antidepressants, I still find myself struggling with BPD splits. Feeling happy and ecstatic beyond words, then I feel guilty for one perceivable flaw and having it get highlighted and it just...all spirals and collapses from there. It sucks. A lot more manageable than before, but damn.
June 3, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Even with antidepressants, I still find myself struggling with BPD splits. Feeling happy and ecstatic beyond words, then I feel guilty for one perceivable flaw and having it get highlighted and it just...all spirals and collapses from there. It sucks. A lot more manageable than before, but damn.
All that I could ever ask for Pride Month is that we cherish every single day we have with our LGBTQ+ friends, allies, and loved ones. That we don't let them feel alone for a single moment. If we feel dread, we must stand together... especially with an entire administration against us.
May 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
All that I could ever ask for Pride Month is that we cherish every single day we have with our LGBTQ+ friends, allies, and loved ones. That we don't let them feel alone for a single moment. If we feel dread, we must stand together... especially with an entire administration against us.
After finally getting on Prozac and getting my life in gear with getting therapy and psychiatric help, it feels like I can finally have control over my own person now. These last three months have made feel so ridiculously helpless. Now I can finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
May 18, 2025 at 2:40 PM
After finally getting on Prozac and getting my life in gear with getting therapy and psychiatric help, it feels like I can finally have control over my own person now. These last three months have made feel so ridiculously helpless. Now I can finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I always take specific note of people who opt to use They/Them for me when they see my "He/They" pronouns at work. It's like we both know that the "He" part of that is only just so I can make it by easier.
March 7, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I always take specific note of people who opt to use They/Them for me when they see my "He/They" pronouns at work. It's like we both know that the "He" part of that is only just so I can make it by easier.
It's sad, but sometimes I regret making that Bluesky account and letting it drive a bulk of my FFXIV enjoyment. I met a few nice people and I've been infinitely grateful for their kindness, but the experience for the most has been very negative and hollow. I never felt like my genuine self.
February 7, 2025 at 7:41 PM
It's sad, but sometimes I regret making that Bluesky account and letting it drive a bulk of my FFXIV enjoyment. I met a few nice people and I've been infinitely grateful for their kindness, but the experience for the most has been very negative and hollow. I never felt like my genuine self.
Deactivated my FFXIV account on here... I began to realize that even with my hiatus, I obsessed heavily with numbers and began to actively resent GPose pieces I have been extremely proud of just because it didn't get numbers. And honestly? That's just a death spiral for creativity.
February 7, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Deactivated my FFXIV account on here... I began to realize that even with my hiatus, I obsessed heavily with numbers and began to actively resent GPose pieces I have been extremely proud of just because it didn't get numbers. And honestly? That's just a death spiral for creativity.
Genuinely wondering what I'm missing with Balatro. Everyone around me swears by this game and acts like it's life changing, but I legitimately just haven't stuck to it yet.
January 2, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Genuinely wondering what I'm missing with Balatro. Everyone around me swears by this game and acts like it's life changing, but I legitimately just haven't stuck to it yet.
Marvel Rivals is a game I wish I enjoyed nearly half as much as everyone else. I get so stressed playing it.
December 11, 2024 at 9:47 PM
Marvel Rivals is a game I wish I enjoyed nearly half as much as everyone else. I get so stressed playing it.
Extremely disheartening to see how little people seem to actually give a shit about young people bound to canes. I get so many dirty looks at my job just for daring to push past the pain to work a retail job during Thanksgiving week. Get told to move out of the way. It's an extremely dismal time.
November 28, 2024 at 8:43 AM
Extremely disheartening to see how little people seem to actually give a shit about young people bound to canes. I get so many dirty looks at my job just for daring to push past the pain to work a retail job during Thanksgiving week. Get told to move out of the way. It's an extremely dismal time.
It's outstanding how actually physically incapable of movement I become when it comes to the idea of being in social interactions I didn't prepare for. Time might as well just stand still for me. 💀 This is beyond being an introvert. This is Introvert (Unreal) lmaoooo
November 23, 2024 at 12:45 AM
It's outstanding how actually physically incapable of movement I become when it comes to the idea of being in social interactions I didn't prepare for. Time might as well just stand still for me. 💀 This is beyond being an introvert. This is Introvert (Unreal) lmaoooo