I think this is the point where I tackle my ADHD. It's getting crippling. I live in squalor because of it. I neglect myself because of it. I am so, so tired of having manic episodes of productivity rarely after eras of loneliness and sadness.

The last goal is an interesting one for me... One that I didn't realize I even suffered from until therapy. Even in my "empathy", I can find myself very self absorbed, even if it's in a negative way ("They have it far worse than I do, I can't complain.")

I have to get better about that.

Naturally, there were things I didn't fully resonate or agree with in all of these, but it gave me a lot to talk about with my therapist at least. And it did teach me some sound advice and points to consider. I find that reading is a great way to continue my self improvement journey.

It's something I really want to work on going forward. It sucks being so giggly and happy and then getting a tight throat and feeling like crying the moment I perceive myself being annoying or a burden... Especially when I know it's just black and white split thinking that's talking.

Keep your LGBTQ+ friends and loved one close. Check in frequently with them. Keep them in your thoughts, and reach out to them as soon as feel something is amiss, or even just to show them you're thinking of them.

Please. It's all I could ask of anyone this Pride Month.

I have a sinking feeling that in this month, there will be unprecedented hatred and bigotry out on full force. There is going to be a storm of prejudice brewing, and with an administration that would rather see us dead and buried than live and thrive in our skins, we cannot afford infighting.

I'm not asking that we give into rainbow capitalism or whatever gets peddled to us. But we have to support queer artists and make a difference where it counts. We'll never know when someone truly horrible and shitty will take somebody you love away, or hurt them deeply. We just have to stand united.

It's been tough (and certainly very expensive, ow) but I've been able to finally enjoy the things I used to be passionate about now. I think I can now freely do so without the constant craving to feel "seen" to feel like I exist. It's liberating. And I hope things have been looking up for you too.