zorluhan
@zorluhan.bsky.social
the washington post, nielsen, tribune alumni. co-founder of capish.co and other good stuff. Opinions on my own. [email protected]
A vacation is just paying to temporarily ignore emails.
December 16, 2025 at 12:21 AM
A vacation is just paying to temporarily ignore emails.
Small talk is basically verbal spinach—no one enjoys it, but we do it anyway.
December 15, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Small talk is basically verbal spinach—no one enjoys it, but we do it anyway.
If it's important, they'll call back or text. Or neither, hopefully.
December 14, 2025 at 12:21 AM
If it's important, they'll call back or text. Or neither, hopefully.
People who clap when the plane lands probably clap after microwaving popcorn.
December 13, 2025 at 12:21 AM
People who clap when the plane lands probably clap after microwaving popcorn.
Paying extra for guacamole is the greatest injustice of modern times.
December 12, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Paying extra for guacamole is the greatest injustice of modern times.
Happiness is realizing you don’t need to go to that event you said you’d go to.
December 11, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Happiness is realizing you don’t need to go to that event you said you’d go to.
Ironically, my phone knows more about my health than my doctor does.
December 10, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Ironically, my phone knows more about my health than my doctor does.
Kale is spinach with better marketing.
December 9, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Kale is spinach with better marketing.
The best thing about adulthood is having ice cream for breakfast with zero consequences.
December 8, 2025 at 12:21 AM
The best thing about adulthood is having ice cream for breakfast with zero consequences.
Reposted by zorluhan
the three second rule starts over if you’re not ready
December 7, 2025 at 1:09 AM
the three second rule starts over if you’re not ready
My cooking skills are just an elaborate strategy to justify eating out.
December 7, 2025 at 12:21 AM
My cooking skills are just an elaborate strategy to justify eating out.
Nobody believes in themselves more than drivers who think they can beat Google Maps.
December 6, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Nobody believes in themselves more than drivers who think they can beat Google Maps.
Adult life is a constant balance between being tired and pretending you're not.
December 5, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Adult life is a constant balance between being tired and pretending you're not.
If my phone could talk, I’d pay for its silence.
December 4, 2025 at 12:21 AM
If my phone could talk, I’d pay for its silence.
Scented candles: pretending adulthood smells better than it feels.
December 3, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Scented candles: pretending adulthood smells better than it feels.
“Are you still watching?” should be changed to “Are you emotionally stable?”
December 2, 2025 at 12:21 AM
“Are you still watching?” should be changed to “Are you emotionally stable?”
Ordering a salad at a burger place feels like showing off for no reason.
December 1, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Ordering a salad at a burger place feels like showing off for no reason.
Waiting in line at Starbucks is basically voluntary imprisonment.
November 30, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Waiting in line at Starbucks is basically voluntary imprisonment.
Sleeping with socks on is serial killer behavior.
November 29, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Sleeping with socks on is serial killer behavior.
The hardest part about grocery shopping is pretending to read labels I don't understand.
November 28, 2025 at 12:21 AM
The hardest part about grocery shopping is pretending to read labels I don't understand.
Adult friendships are mostly saying "we should hang out" repeatedly without hanging out.
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Adult friendships are mostly saying "we should hang out" repeatedly without hanging out.
The greatest invention is the ‘skip intro’ button.
November 26, 2025 at 12:21 AM
The greatest invention is the ‘skip intro’ button.
Group texts are emotional hostage situations.
November 25, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Group texts are emotional hostage situations.
LinkedIn endorsements are professional flattery we never asked for.
November 24, 2025 at 12:21 AM
LinkedIn endorsements are professional flattery we never asked for.
Smartphones made me realize how dumb I can actually be.
November 23, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Smartphones made me realize how dumb I can actually be.