Author | Lightnews

Alan B

@alanpbourke.bsky.social

380 followers 440 following 7.7K posts

(Bloke\chap) Make a fist like the one on your afro comb and come tenfold strong with the bomb.

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · Oct 11

open.spotify.com/playlist/1w6...
88 hrs of hits from 1970 up until about 1999. Novelty songs, strange one-offs, instrumentals, football songs, military bands, TV themes, Christmas songs, collaborations. If it's not there chances are it's not on Spotify. No Jonathan King or Rolf Harris 😬 #totp

Oddities And One Hit Wonders Of The UK Top 40

open.spotify.com

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 24m

Griftianity.

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 43m

What we don't have is convenience stores/shops with (admittedly cute) cats sitting on the foodstuffs because they'd get closed down.

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 47m

The absolute last thing I would do as a billionaire is get into an orbital vehicle or deep sea submersible. Are these people that jaded and desperate for thrills? Is it one-upmanship with other billionaires?

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1h

And single cigarettes?

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 11h

Flingtits And Company

Reposted by Alan B

Angry People in Local Newspapers @apiln.bsky.social · 12h

If you don’t know, here you go. One of the earliest viral internet things.

michaelkelly.artofeurope.com/orb1.htm

It always starts the same way

michaelkelly.artofeurope.com

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 12h

She'd be played by Olivia Colman in a modern remake.

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 18h

Narrator: precisely none of these doorknobs went anywhere

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 21h

An oiled Jason Statham go-go dancing at the 0:37 mark in the video for "Comin' On" by The Shamen, in 1993

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWu3...

The Shamen - Comin' On HD

YouTube video by themosttogain

www.youtube.com

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Reposted by Alan B

Irish Place Names @irishplacenames.bsky.social · 22h

Tullaghaunnashammer, townland in Co. Mayo.

From the Irish 'Tulachán na Seamar', hillock of the shamrocks.

#speirgorm

A Google satellite image of Tullaghaunnashammer, Co. Mayo, Ireland

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 23h

You know that his comedy routine schtick where he does "I'm a wanker ... or am I? Wrongfooted you there, I'm not a wanker ... but maybe I am after all! Or not ..."

I think he is.

Reposted by Alan B

Ciara | Ciaraíoch 🎨 @ciaraioch.bsky.social · 23h

Just paid the aul' income tax for the year and consequently have about two beans left to rub together, so if you've been looking for a bit of Irish art now's a very good time to buy. It's this or train the crows to rob billionaires and I'm running out of cheese bribes

Ciara | Ciaraíoch 🎨 @ciaraioch.bsky.social · Feb 18

A cost-of-living crisis isn't the easiest time to sell art, but: www.ciaraioch.com is where you can support my work, with each archival-quality print on textured heavy paper being produced here in Ireland, shipping internationally in eco-friendly packaging, with free mini-treats in every order 🎁

Collage of different prints from my online store

Close up of the Irish Aquatic Life print

Linocut print of Men Of The Blaskets, with small flowers beside it

Imbolc print next to purple flowers

#speirgorm #speirghorm #art #traditionalart #artist

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

Why indeed

botnethorror.bsky.social @botnethorror.bsky.social · 1d

Hmm not impossible but hard to do. Unless you were juggling two pint glasses. www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-bo...

Why can you pee without pooing, but you can't poo without peeing? - BBC Science Focus Magazine

Why can you pee without pooing, but you can't poo without peeing? A GP explains this toilet mystery.

www.sciencefocus.com

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

*pulls up a chair*

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

I open those with my sleeve around my hand or my elbow if possible.

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

We scientists wash our hands after flushing. A

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

villains.fandom.com/wiki/Sabbat_...

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

In Ireland this would be a brand of toilet paper. #speirgorm

James Hunt @jameshunt.bsky.social · 1d

Finally, a product that allows me to avoid the feminising effects of *checks notes* bed sheets.

An advertisement featuring a stack of dark grey bed sheets with the headline: “Introducing the Jax Sheet 2.0” followed by the tagline “The First Bed Sheets Engineered For Men,” with “For Men” in red text and underlined.

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

Yeah, you're absolutely getting AI to write safe, testable code for Windows etc using enhanced autocomplete. Course you are guys.

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

I would totally draw Ming The Merciless to be the spit of Ming Flanagan

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 1d

People chuntering about how much train drivers get paid, a reminder about how they're responsible for the safety of potentially hundreds of people, all day every day.

Gawen Jenkin @gawenjenkin.bsky.social · 2d

Huntingdon - This comment from Simon Calder is worth repeating.

My thoughts with all involved

Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 2d

You're not a 'dog mommy/daddy' unless you are also a dog.

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Alan B @alanpbourke.bsky.social · 2d

Not phones, unregulated social media.

Reposted by Alan B

Armchair Classicist (Ryan Schaller) @armchairclassicist.bsky.social · 2d

14 68

Reposted by Alan B

Mark Chadbourn @chadbourn.bsky.social · 2d

PSA.

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