Angry People in Local Newspapers
@apiln.bsky.social
Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
Pinned
PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.
Spoiler: He stole it from a garage near St Ives*
*almost certainly a lie. It was Liskeard.
*almost certainly a lie. It was Liskeard.
February 17, 2026 at 6:16 PM
Spoiler: He stole it from a garage near St Ives*
*almost certainly a lie. It was Liskeard.
*almost certainly a lie. It was Liskeard.
“Paint me Jack. Paint me like one of your French taxi drivers”
Crewe taxi driver floats rubber ducks in pothole campaign
Shaine Tench says he put the toy ducks in the Crewe pothole to bring attention to it.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 6:09 PM
“Paint me Jack. Paint me like one of your French taxi drivers”
Normal for Berwick.
February 17, 2026 at 6:07 PM
Normal for Berwick.
Dear the Swindon Advertiser -
Fixed the headline for you.
Be lucky, APILN
Fixed the headline for you.
Be lucky, APILN
February 17, 2026 at 5:02 PM
Dear the Swindon Advertiser -
Fixed the headline for you.
Be lucky, APILN
Fixed the headline for you.
Be lucky, APILN
I am prepared to accept that this plaque is correct, and the screwdriver-wielding curmudgeons apparently in charge of Preston’s history should think about the thousand men or more who put it up there.
Preston burger bar clash with city's historical society over fake blue plaque 'bants'
A Preston burger bar and the city’s historical society have clashed over a fake blue plaque claiming American rock band Toto wrote the 1982 hit Africa on the premises.
www.lep.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 2:43 PM
I am prepared to accept that this plaque is correct, and the screwdriver-wielding curmudgeons apparently in charge of Preston’s history should think about the thousand men or more who put it up there.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
When you just paid for fruit.
February 17, 2026 at 12:48 PM
When you just paid for fruit.
To quote Alan Partridge: "To an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it’s not five-star, but it’s certainly competitive."
February 17, 2026 at 2:17 PM
To quote Alan Partridge: "To an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it’s not five-star, but it’s certainly competitive."
Look at it. Just sitting there, growing, gloating, taunting her. Why must our oldiewonks suffer so?
Newton Aycliffe pensioner says 'overgrown' council tree blocking light into home
A Newton Aycliffe OAP says an overgrown tree depriving her Winterburn Place home of natural light is having a detrimental impact on her mental…
www.thenorthernecho.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 2:12 PM
Look at it. Just sitting there, growing, gloating, taunting her. Why must our oldiewonks suffer so?
Elon Musk ruined the “Let that sink in” gag for all of us, but we’re claiming it back. Just let that sink in.
This Catholic Bishop carried a sink up a hill- here's why
Bishop Brian McGee carried a sink up a hill to brush his teeth in the morning for SCIAF' Wee Box campaign.
www.glasgowtimes.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Elon Musk ruined the “Let that sink in” gag for all of us, but we’re claiming it back. Just let that sink in.
Meanwhile, in the Manchester Evening News, 28 years ago…
February 17, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Meanwhile, in the Manchester Evening News, 28 years ago…
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Game Over was right there. It was right there.
February 17, 2026 at 9:24 AM
Game Over was right there. It was right there.
He didn’t see that coming (because he was a pheasant).
February 17, 2026 at 9:01 AM
He didn’t see that coming (because he was a pheasant).
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
“Monkey tennis… Inner-city Sumo… Running a Caravan Park with Danny Dyer…”
February 17, 2026 at 8:43 AM
“Monkey tennis… Inner-city Sumo… Running a Caravan Park with Danny Dyer…”
Behind a paywall, but this is journalism gold:
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
Man who made firebomb threats demands court refers to him as 'Prince Trump'
A man who made threats to firebomb probation office buildings in Suffolk told a Norwich court he should be referred to as Prince Trump.
www.ipswichstar.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:57 AM
Behind a paywall, but this is journalism gold:
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
Thinking of doing a bit of DIY dentistry? Read this alleged poem before punching yourself in the face.
February 17, 2026 at 8:35 AM
Thinking of doing a bit of DIY dentistry? Read this alleged poem before punching yourself in the face.
“She turned me into a newt!”
“…”
“I got better.”
“…”
“I got better.”
Our house was built on a pond and now we're plagued by newts
The situation has got so bad even ducks, newts, and frogs have started to move into the waterlogged area.
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:24 AM
“She turned me into a newt!”
“…”
“I got better.”
“…”
“I got better.”
“And then I got in behind Jerry and was about to give him a burst from the old machine guns when he hung a quick right turn onto the A49 and he was gone. Back to base for tea, but ‘Plunger’ Smith had scoffed all the cake. Poor show, what?”
Anger at move to block heavily used city short-cut
Plans have been put forward to stop drivers turning from a Hereford rat-run onto the main A49 through the city.
www.herefordtimes.com
February 17, 2026 at 8:18 AM
“And then I got in behind Jerry and was about to give him a burst from the old machine guns when he hung a quick right turn onto the A49 and he was gone. Back to base for tea, but ‘Plunger’ Smith had scoffed all the cake. Poor show, what?”
The ol’ staring into the middle distance while thinking “I’ll stick a catalytic converter right up their…”
L
L
Driver has same car parts stolen twice at Thornhill Park and Ride
Richard Malloy wants better security after having two catalytic converters stolen in five years.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:05 AM
The ol’ staring into the middle distance while thinking “I’ll stick a catalytic converter right up their…”
L
L
Things which are not at all like a Winter Olympics slalom course: This potholed road in Watford.
Potholes turning road into 'Winter Olympics slalom course'
A Watford resident has hit out at the state of potholes in The Gossamers, likening his road to a Winter Olympic Slalom course.
www.watfordobserver.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 6:22 PM
Things which are not at all like a Winter Olympics slalom course: This potholed road in Watford.
Has anyone seen my clockwork cucumber? I might have left it out for a jumble sale.
Shopper's quest to reunite sex toy with owner after finding it in donated bag
A jumble sale attendee is on a mission to reunite a sex toy with its owner after he discovered it inside a donated bag.
www.burytimes.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Has anyone seen my clockwork cucumber? I might have left it out for a jumble sale.
Feast your eyes upon a driver who has had a fine overturned.
Furious driver hit with £270 TfL fine while car 'was parked outside flat'
David Hoar, who works as a London bus driver, claims TfL got his journey mixed up with another for which he did pay the £15 charge
www.mylondon.news
February 16, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Feast your eyes upon a driver who has had a fine overturned.
“Golden success on snow”.
Huw hopes golden success on snow can inspire youngsters
Huw hopes golden success on snow can inspire youngsters
Bolton’s newest Olympic champion Huw Nightingale is living on top of the world - and he believes the rest of British winter sport can be, too.
dlvr.it
February 16, 2026 at 12:07 PM
“Golden success on snow”.
In today’s episode of “the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind”, the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind.
February 16, 2026 at 12:05 PM
In today’s episode of “the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind”, the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind.
Caroline has written a poem about “Man’s best friend”, which is apparently a dog. WRONG.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
February 16, 2026 at 11:31 AM
Caroline has written a poem about “Man’s best friend”, which is apparently a dog. WRONG.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.