Angry People in Local Newspapers
@apiln.bsky.social
Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
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PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”
February 10, 2026 at 7:29 PM
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”
“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen”
Ten people taken to hospital after blaze fire service HQ
Ten members of staff were taken to hospital after a blaze at the headquarters of Hampshire and Isle of Wight Fire and Rescue Service
www.dailyecho.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 7:22 PM
“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen”
The chocolate variety.
Aldi shopper will 'never eat meal again' after finding starfish on plate
Karen tucked into the Aldi meal as a starter at home with her husband and daughter last month.
www.cornwalllive.com
February 10, 2026 at 7:17 PM
The chocolate variety.
This road has no potholes. NO POTHOLES.
Councillor baffled by Lancashire County Council response on Church Road potholes assured repairs are planned – Blog Preston
<p>There is repair work set to take place on Church Road in Leyland before the end of February.</p>
www.blogpreston.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 7:14 PM
This road has no potholes. NO POTHOLES.
Ah, Parking Bastard™️, we meet again.
Pub customers fined after parking cameras reactivated 'without consent'
The landlord of the Help Me Thro' pub in Bury says customers were wrongly hit with parking fines after cameras were switched back on “without his…
www.burytimes.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 6:52 PM
Ah, Parking Bastard™️, we meet again.
Yes, he’s dressed up as a cup of coffee, but he’s also wearing his councillor’s hi-vis jacket. Important health and safety tip, there.
Council has 'slipped its clutch' on park café closures, councillor says
Newcastle councillor Doc Anand said that the closures of cafés in Exhibition and Paddy Freeman's Parks extended beyond food and drink
www.chroniclelive.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Yes, he’s dressed up as a cup of coffee, but he’s also wearing his councillor’s hi-vis jacket. Important health and safety tip, there.
Bit harsh blaming it all on the local MP. It’s nothing a swig of Pepto Bismol can’t fix.
Source of bad smells blighting town believed to have been identified
MP Justin Madders has issued an update following ongoing concerns about the smells affecting the town in recent weeks.
www.chesterstandard.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Bit harsh blaming it all on the local MP. It’s nothing a swig of Pepto Bismol can’t fix.
From the Yeovil Real News page, the exact opposite of that Pink Floyd album cover.
February 10, 2026 at 12:19 PM
From the Yeovil Real News page, the exact opposite of that Pink Floyd album cover.
Regret to report that Kenneth has written a poem about pubs, which he likes and simultaneously doesn’t like, before going off on a tangent like a Donald Trump monologue. Captivating stuff.
February 10, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Regret to report that Kenneth has written a poem about pubs, which he likes and simultaneously doesn’t like, before going off on a tangent like a Donald Trump monologue. Captivating stuff.
If this photo - a work of art - had a title, it would be “stop messing with your phone for Pete’s sake, it’s starting to rain”.
Car 'shook violently' aggravating back injury as it hit pothole on deteriorating road
A driver said his car "shook violently" after hitting a deep pothole on a deteriorating road on the outskirts of Malvern.
www.worcesternews.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 8:10 AM
If this photo - a work of art - had a title, it would be “stop messing with your phone for Pete’s sake, it’s starting to rain”.
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council are at it again. Properly at it again.
'Uprooting my Acer is daft' says bemused Watton homeowner
Jim Dann's tree is being moved because it was not in the official plans for the new-build estate.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 8:05 AM
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council are at it again. Properly at it again.
“Joe Marlin” is an anagram of “Porno Ron” #NobodyChecksAnagrams
February 10, 2026 at 8:00 AM
“Joe Marlin” is an anagram of “Porno Ron” #NobodyChecksAnagrams
It’s a sad day when locals are forced to go on TV quiz show in order to afford car park fees.
February 10, 2026 at 7:48 AM
It’s a sad day when locals are forced to go on TV quiz show in order to afford car park fees.
That’s one poor quality speed nob, no wonder he wants a beloved Aussie children’s TV character with a pencil for a nose to fix it.
Someone drew a 'dick pic' on Rick's lawn - so he's looking for a Mr Squiggle to fix it
'We've got a big penis in our front yard - I don't know if that's really going to...
www.illawarramercury.com.au
February 10, 2026 at 7:42 AM
That’s one poor quality speed nob, no wonder he wants a beloved Aussie children’s TV character with a pencil for a nose to fix it.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Happy 13th anniversary to this pair of matching news headlines.
February 10, 2026 at 7:26 AM
Happy 13th anniversary to this pair of matching news headlines.
Bloody hell, Mick Hucknall’s showing his age all of a sudden.
www.nottinghampost.com/news/notting...
www.nottinghampost.com/news/notting...
Roadworks to close street for weeks - but residents say nobody told them
The road is blocked off between Manning Street and Hungerhill Road
www.nottinghampost.com
February 9, 2026 at 9:46 PM
Bloody hell, Mick Hucknall’s showing his age all of a sudden.
www.nottinghampost.com/news/notting...
www.nottinghampost.com/news/notting...
Textbook case of “anonymous coward living in the country complains about farm noises”.
Cockerel served with an Asbo after complaint from anonymous neighbour
'You don't move to the countryside and expect people to get rid of their animals,' the chicken's owner said.
metro.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Textbook case of “anonymous coward living in the country complains about farm noises”.
I say we shut down Jersey until we can work out what’s going on.
February 9, 2026 at 6:18 PM
I say we shut down Jersey until we can work out what’s going on.
It’s Monday, so it must be LibDems angry about potholes, and as a student of classic cinema, I fear for the gentleman in yellow for that’s enough water for GHOST SHARK to come and eat his face.
Stourbridge giant pothole leaves councillor shocked but unsurprised
A pothole on Brook Street, Stourbridge - reported to Andrew Tromans on 31 January - is still there.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 5:05 PM
It’s Monday, so it must be LibDems angry about potholes, and as a student of classic cinema, I fear for the gentleman in yellow for that’s enough water for GHOST SHARK to come and eat his face.
Regret to report that people are still going on holiday to [checks notes] Center Parcs
Children find dead rat at bottom of Center Parcs pool
A group of children found a dead rat in the rapids at the Center Parcs site in Elveden.
www.eadt.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Regret to report that people are still going on holiday to [checks notes] Center Parcs
Touch nothing. They’re working as designed.
Bradford Council apologises after speed camera works cause 'severe' disruption
The council has apologised for disruption caused by speed camera roadworks in a Bradford area.
www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Touch nothing. They’re working as designed.
“Sorry mate, I don’t go south of the Medieval Zone”
February 9, 2026 at 1:19 PM
“Sorry mate, I don’t go south of the Medieval Zone”
DONE A POO and also YOU HAD ONE JOB
School road markings painted over 'dangerous' potholes in 'ridiculous situation'
Road markings painted over potholes on Sullivan Road near Chalk Ridge School spark criticism of Hampshire County Council’s road repairs and safety…
www.basingstokegazette.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 1:15 PM
DONE A POO and also YOU HAD ONE JOB
Things not like living in The Dark Ages: Not getting full-fibre broadband. The Anglo-Saxons famously only had dialup.
‘It’s heartbreaking and could hit house prices - we’re left in the dark ages’
Frustrated residents left stranded with sluggish internet - despite full-fibre being rolled out all around them - fear it could hit house prices.
www.kentonline.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 1:13 PM
Things not like living in The Dark Ages: Not getting full-fibre broadband. The Anglo-Saxons famously only had dialup.
Things which are not “utter carnage”: A traffic jam in Worcester
Traffic 'chaos' near city retail park as angry drivers blast horns
Cadent Gas works are listed as being underway in Blackpole Road between January 5 and March 9 with delays listed as 'likely'.
www.malverngazette.co.uk
February 9, 2026 at 1:10 PM
Things which are not “utter carnage”: A traffic jam in Worcester