Angry People in Local Newspapers
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Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
Pinned
PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.
It’s been doing the rounds for at least five years.
February 11, 2026 at 7:42 PM
It’s been doing the rounds for at least five years.
Just the two strokes?!
February 11, 2026 at 7:20 PM
Just the two strokes?!
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Reports that police are on the verge of making an arrest are “just 3.1415926535 in the sky”.
February 11, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Reports that police are on the verge of making an arrest are “just 3.1415926535 in the sky”.
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council have not been at it at all.
February 11, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council have not been at it at all.
“I knew it!” said Frank Drebin, “SHELL OIL! It was big business all the time”
“You’re holding it upside down, Frank”.
“You’re holding it upside down, Frank”.
February 11, 2026 at 6:10 PM
“I knew it!” said Frank Drebin, “SHELL OIL! It was big business all the time”
“You’re holding it upside down, Frank”.
“You’re holding it upside down, Frank”.
Lt Frank Columbo of the LAPD told reporters “There’s something about this case that doesn’t add up”
Police release CCTV image after calculators worth £879 stolen in Lancaster
The theft took place on December 18
www.lancs.live
February 11, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Lt Frank Columbo of the LAPD told reporters “There’s something about this case that doesn’t add up”
Good news: Free sofa!
Bad news: They cut it open at the bottom to check for loose change and/or mislaid hard drives containing millions in bitcoin.
Bad news: They cut it open at the bottom to check for loose change and/or mislaid hard drives containing millions in bitcoin.
South Tyneside flytippers face prosecution after leaving documents in dumped rubbish
Fly-tippers who have targeted part of South Tyneside could face prosecution – after leaving named documents in open view.
www.shieldsgazette.com
February 11, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Good news: Free sofa!
Bad news: They cut it open at the bottom to check for loose change and/or mislaid hard drives containing millions in bitcoin.
Bad news: They cut it open at the bottom to check for loose change and/or mislaid hard drives containing millions in bitcoin.
Incredibly, it’s not even Persimmon, the Pontins of house-builders.
Couple spend months in 'unliveable' new build home without flooring
A milestone moment for Dr Andrew McClintock and his partner of buying their first home turned into an emotional rollercoaster
www.chroniclelive.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Incredibly, it’s not even Persimmon, the Pontins of house-builders.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Get Sir Ian McKellen to read this live on television you cowards.
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 1:03 PM
Get Sir Ian McKellen to read this live on television you cowards.
Then there’s this.
February 11, 2026 at 1:03 PM
Then there’s this.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 11:48 AM
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Three isn't enough.... Come on, councillors!
February 11, 2026 at 10:39 AM
Three isn't enough.... Come on, councillors!
We don’t do court reports, but we’re sad to report that Kevin out off of the Home Alone movies grew up and became a wrong’un.
Barnsley man who laid 'Home Alone' style traps at drug den jailed
Ian Claughton, 60, fortified his home with tripwires, home-made pipe bombs and a flamethrower.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 11:15 AM
We don’t do court reports, but we’re sad to report that Kevin out off of the Home Alone movies grew up and became a wrong’un.
I am already working on a kind-natured critique for the Derby Telegraph to encourage Annie to keep writing.
February 11, 2026 at 11:06 AM
I am already working on a kind-natured critique for the Derby Telegraph to encourage Annie to keep writing.
Wicklow Scientists Demonstrate News Fart-Powered Jetpacks
February 11, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Wicklow Scientists Demonstrate News Fart-Powered Jetpacks
You had me at the name of the club, and had me further on the objections being based on [checks notes] local road capacity.
Green light for live sex shows and pole dancing after adult party venue gets licence
An adult party venue will be able to offer live sex shows and pole dancing after being granted a licence.
www.lincsonline.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 10:59 AM
You had me at the name of the club, and had me further on the objections being based on [checks notes] local road capacity.
I’m thinking it’s all going to come to a head. Trish and her trolley will be involved.
February 11, 2026 at 10:44 AM
I’m thinking it’s all going to come to a head. Trish and her trolley will be involved.
✅ Homemade sign
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
Decision looms on closed pub that could be lost forever
Locals fear that time may finally be called on what was a popular north Herefordshire country pub, with approval looming for its conversion into a…
www.herefordtimes.com
February 11, 2026 at 10:43 AM
✅ Homemade sign
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
As Shakespeare was inspired in his Sonnets by a mystery “Fair Youth”, so Annie finds her muse in her friend Trish’s shopping trolley, this being her second poem on the subject*
*that we know of.
*that we know of.
February 11, 2026 at 10:34 AM
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 10:32 AM
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week www.thepoke.com/2026/02/11/2...
February 11, 2026 at 6:58 AM
25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week www.thepoke.com/2026/02/11/2...
SPOILER: Do not, under any circumstances, let your dog drive (except guide dogs).
February 11, 2026 at 9:28 AM
SPOILER: Do not, under any circumstances, let your dog drive (except guide dogs).
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”
February 10, 2026 at 7:29 PM
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”