Angry People in Local Newspapers
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Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
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PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.
He didn’t see that coming (because he was a pheasant).
February 17, 2026 at 9:01 AM
He didn’t see that coming (because he was a pheasant).
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
“Monkey tennis… Inner-city Sumo… Running a Caravan Park with Danny Dyer…”
February 17, 2026 at 8:43 AM
“Monkey tennis… Inner-city Sumo… Running a Caravan Park with Danny Dyer…”
Behind a paywall, but this is journalism gold:
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
Man who made firebomb threats demands court refers to him as 'Prince Trump'
A man who made threats to firebomb probation office buildings in Suffolk told a Norwich court he should be referred to as Prince Trump.
www.ipswichstar.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:57 AM
Behind a paywall, but this is journalism gold:
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
“The 53-year-old, of no fixed abode, also told the court he wanted to be deported to America - where he claimed he comes from - after he was sentenced.
“It is understood the defendant was born in Devon.”
Thinking of doing a bit of DIY dentistry? Read this alleged poem before punching yourself in the face.
February 17, 2026 at 8:35 AM
Thinking of doing a bit of DIY dentistry? Read this alleged poem before punching yourself in the face.
“She turned me into a newt!”
“…”
“I got better.”
“…”
“I got better.”
Our house was built on a pond and now we're plagued by newts
The situation has got so bad even ducks, newts, and frogs have started to move into the waterlogged area.
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:24 AM
“She turned me into a newt!”
“…”
“I got better.”
“…”
“I got better.”
“And then I got in behind Jerry and was about to give him a burst from the old machine guns when he hung a quick right turn onto the A49 and he was gone. Back to base for tea, but ‘Plunger’ Smith had scoffed all the cake. Poor show, what?”
Anger at move to block heavily used city short-cut
Plans have been put forward to stop drivers turning from a Hereford rat-run onto the main A49 through the city.
www.herefordtimes.com
February 17, 2026 at 8:18 AM
“And then I got in behind Jerry and was about to give him a burst from the old machine guns when he hung a quick right turn onto the A49 and he was gone. Back to base for tea, but ‘Plunger’ Smith had scoffed all the cake. Poor show, what?”
The ol’ staring into the middle distance while thinking “I’ll stick a catalytic converter right up their…”
L
L
Driver has same car parts stolen twice at Thornhill Park and Ride
Richard Malloy wants better security after having two catalytic converters stolen in five years.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 17, 2026 at 8:05 AM
The ol’ staring into the middle distance while thinking “I’ll stick a catalytic converter right up their…”
L
L
Things which are not at all like a Winter Olympics slalom course: This potholed road in Watford.
Potholes turning road into 'Winter Olympics slalom course'
A Watford resident has hit out at the state of potholes in The Gossamers, likening his road to a Winter Olympic Slalom course.
www.watfordobserver.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 6:22 PM
Things which are not at all like a Winter Olympics slalom course: This potholed road in Watford.
Has anyone seen my clockwork cucumber? I might have left it out for a jumble sale.
Shopper's quest to reunite sex toy with owner after finding it in donated bag
A jumble sale attendee is on a mission to reunite a sex toy with its owner after he discovered it inside a donated bag.
www.burytimes.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Has anyone seen my clockwork cucumber? I might have left it out for a jumble sale.
Feast your eyes upon a driver who has had a fine overturned.
Furious driver hit with £270 TfL fine while car 'was parked outside flat'
David Hoar, who works as a London bus driver, claims TfL got his journey mixed up with another for which he did pay the £15 charge
www.mylondon.news
February 16, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Feast your eyes upon a driver who has had a fine overturned.
“Golden success on snow”.
Huw hopes golden success on snow can inspire youngsters
Huw hopes golden success on snow can inspire youngsters
Bolton’s newest Olympic champion Huw Nightingale is living on top of the world - and he believes the rest of British winter sport can be, too.
dlvr.it
February 16, 2026 at 12:07 PM
“Golden success on snow”.
In today’s episode of “the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind”, the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind.
February 16, 2026 at 12:05 PM
In today’s episode of “the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind”, the Daily Telegraph has lost its mind.
Caroline has written a poem about “Man’s best friend”, which is apparently a dog. WRONG.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
February 16, 2026 at 11:31 AM
Caroline has written a poem about “Man’s best friend”, which is apparently a dog. WRONG.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
A man’s best friend is his duck
Your duck will bring you good luck
It sometimes eats bread and goes for a float
And it’s ten times better than getting a goat
A man’s best friend is his duck.
He was blue and blue all over.
February 16, 2026 at 11:25 AM
He was blue and blue all over.
Elected officials: When you tell the press that potholes are “so big you could lose a small child inside them”, it’s no good unless you bring a small child along for reference.
Plea to fix potholes in Kilkenny so big 'that a small child could be lost in them'
Deputy Peter 'Chap' Cleere said that huge number of rural roads across Carlow and Kilkenny have been destroyed due to torrential rainfall and flooding caused by Storm Chandra
www.kilkennypeople.ie
February 16, 2026 at 10:05 AM
Elected officials: When you tell the press that potholes are “so big you could lose a small child inside them”, it’s no good unless you bring a small child along for reference.
On the bright side, it’ll stop the traffic jams on the ring road.
610,680 killed if Russians drop largest nuclear bomb in Oxford
An estimated 610,680 could be killed if the Russians were to drop the largest nuclear bomb from the USSR
www.oxfordmail.co.uk
February 16, 2026 at 9:09 AM
On the bright side, it’ll stop the traffic jams on the ring road.
Former pub landlord Phil Mitchell, 61, points to where he was injured by a malfunctioning ticket barrier at Walford East Underground station. Transport for London denies responsibility.
February 16, 2026 at 7:02 AM
Former pub landlord Phil Mitchell, 61, points to where he was injured by a malfunctioning ticket barrier at Walford East Underground station. Transport for London denies responsibility.
Wait wait wait - Johnny Nice Painter out off of The Fast Show is a town crier now? That’s a black day for everyone.
www.kentonline.co.uk/sheerness/ne...
www.kentonline.co.uk/sheerness/ne...
February 15, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Wait wait wait - Johnny Nice Painter out off of The Fast Show is a town crier now? That’s a black day for everyone.
www.kentonline.co.uk/sheerness/ne...
www.kentonline.co.uk/sheerness/ne...
Someone, somewhere, has effed things right up.
'I've been hit with £20,000 in fines from a car I sold five years ago'
Craig Pedder, 38, sold the vehicle in 2021 but then received a mountain of letters demanding payment for crossings of the Mersey Gateway toll bridge
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk
February 15, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Someone, somewhere, has effed things right up.
You can’t park there mate.
Amazon delivery van 'stuck on The Broomway after following GPS'
HM Coastguard Southend says the van driver had been trying to get to Foulness Island.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 15, 2026 at 6:58 PM
You can’t park there mate.
Meanwhile in Germany, it is also pothole season, and those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the Rathaus have done nichts, again.
Greifswalderin ärgert sich über Kraterlandschaft auf dem Weg zu ihrer Garage: „Das ist gefährlich“
Für die 88-jährige Charlotte Fritzsche birgt der Weg zu ihrer Garage seit Jahrzehnten erhebliche Gefahren. Wann die Schlaglöcher und Erdhügel vollständig ausgebessert werden, ist allerdings offen. Ers...
www.ostsee-zeitung.de
February 15, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Meanwhile in Germany, it is also pothole season, and those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the Rathaus have done nichts, again.
Someone post that John Peel pic, I can’t be bothered.
February 15, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Someone post that John Peel pic, I can’t be bothered.