Angry People in Local Newspapers
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Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.
Pinned
PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.
Incredibly, it’s not even Persimmon, the Pontins of house-builders.
Couple spend months in 'unliveable' new build home without flooring
A milestone moment for Dr Andrew McClintock and his partner of buying their first home turned into an emotional rollercoaster
www.chroniclelive.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Incredibly, it’s not even Persimmon, the Pontins of house-builders.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Get Sir Ian McKellen to read this live on television you cowards.
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 1:03 PM
Get Sir Ian McKellen to read this live on television you cowards.
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 11:48 AM
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
I have eaten
the delicious cooked ham
that was in
the cooked meat fridge at the local coop
and which
Lynn was probably
saving
for her husband Tony
Forgive me
it was delicious
so local
and so ham
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
Three isn't enough.... Come on, councillors!
February 11, 2026 at 10:39 AM
Three isn't enough.... Come on, councillors!
We don’t do court reports, but we’re sad to report that Kevin out off of the Home Alone movies grew up and became a wrong’un.
Barnsley man who laid 'Home Alone' style traps at drug den jailed
Ian Claughton, 60, fortified his home with tripwires, home-made pipe bombs and a flamethrower.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 11:15 AM
We don’t do court reports, but we’re sad to report that Kevin out off of the Home Alone movies grew up and became a wrong’un.
Wicklow Scientists Demonstrate News Fart-Powered Jetpacks
February 11, 2026 at 11:05 AM
Wicklow Scientists Demonstrate News Fart-Powered Jetpacks
You had me at the name of the club, and had me further on the objections being based on [checks notes] local road capacity.
Green light for live sex shows and pole dancing after adult party venue gets licence
An adult party venue will be able to offer live sex shows and pole dancing after being granted a licence.
www.lincsonline.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 10:59 AM
You had me at the name of the club, and had me further on the objections being based on [checks notes] local road capacity.
✅ Homemade sign
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
Decision looms on closed pub that could be lost forever
Locals fear that time may finally be called on what was a popular north Herefordshire country pub, with approval looming for its conversion into a…
www.herefordtimes.com
February 11, 2026 at 10:43 AM
✅ Homemade sign
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
✅ Dog
✅ Folded arms
✅ Look at my effing red trousers
✅ Oldiewonk in reactolites
Pretty much a full house.
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
February 11, 2026 at 10:32 AM
Our current favourite poet Annie has written another poem about going down the shops, yet no mention of her friend Trish and her shopping trolley (a euphemism for Mr Trish if ever I saw one).
Reposted by Angry People in Local Newspapers
25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week www.thepoke.com/2026/02/11/2...
February 11, 2026 at 6:58 AM
25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week www.thepoke.com/2026/02/11/2...
SPOILER: Do not, under any circumstances, let your dog drive (except guide dogs).
February 11, 2026 at 9:28 AM
SPOILER: Do not, under any circumstances, let your dog drive (except guide dogs).
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”
February 10, 2026 at 7:29 PM
“Watch out! They’ve got sticks! And an inflated pig’s bladder on a stick!”
“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen”
Ten people taken to hospital after blaze fire service HQ
Ten members of staff were taken to hospital after a blaze at the headquarters of Hampshire and Isle of Wight Fire and Rescue Service
www.dailyecho.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 7:22 PM
“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen”
The chocolate variety.
Aldi shopper will 'never eat meal again' after finding starfish on plate
Karen tucked into the Aldi meal as a starter at home with her husband and daughter last month.
www.cornwalllive.com
February 10, 2026 at 7:17 PM
The chocolate variety.
This road has no potholes. NO POTHOLES.
Councillor baffled by Lancashire County Council response on Church Road potholes assured repairs are planned – Blog Preston
<p>There is repair work set to take place on Church Road in Leyland before the end of February.</p>
www.blogpreston.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 7:14 PM
This road has no potholes. NO POTHOLES.
Ah, Parking Bastard™️, we meet again.
Pub customers fined after parking cameras reactivated 'without consent'
The landlord of the Help Me Thro' pub in Bury says customers were wrongly hit with parking fines after cameras were switched back on “without his…
www.burytimes.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 6:52 PM
Ah, Parking Bastard™️, we meet again.
Yes, he’s dressed up as a cup of coffee, but he’s also wearing his councillor’s hi-vis jacket. Important health and safety tip, there.
Council has 'slipped its clutch' on park café closures, councillor says
Newcastle councillor Doc Anand said that the closures of cafés in Exhibition and Paddy Freeman's Parks extended beyond food and drink
www.chroniclelive.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Yes, he’s dressed up as a cup of coffee, but he’s also wearing his councillor’s hi-vis jacket. Important health and safety tip, there.
Bit harsh blaming it all on the local MP. It’s nothing a swig of Pepto Bismol can’t fix.
Source of bad smells blighting town believed to have been identified
MP Justin Madders has issued an update following ongoing concerns about the smells affecting the town in recent weeks.
www.chesterstandard.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Bit harsh blaming it all on the local MP. It’s nothing a swig of Pepto Bismol can’t fix.
From the Yeovil Real News page, the exact opposite of that Pink Floyd album cover.
February 10, 2026 at 12:19 PM
From the Yeovil Real News page, the exact opposite of that Pink Floyd album cover.
Regret to report that Kenneth has written a poem about pubs, which he likes and simultaneously doesn’t like, before going off on a tangent like a Donald Trump monologue. Captivating stuff.
February 10, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Regret to report that Kenneth has written a poem about pubs, which he likes and simultaneously doesn’t like, before going off on a tangent like a Donald Trump monologue. Captivating stuff.
If this photo - a work of art - had a title, it would be “stop messing with your phone for Pete’s sake, it’s starting to rain”.
Car 'shook violently' aggravating back injury as it hit pothole on deteriorating road
A driver said his car "shook violently" after hitting a deep pothole on a deteriorating road on the outskirts of Malvern.
www.worcesternews.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 8:10 AM
If this photo - a work of art - had a title, it would be “stop messing with your phone for Pete’s sake, it’s starting to rain”.
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council are at it again. Properly at it again.
'Uprooting my Acer is daft' says bemused Watton homeowner
Jim Dann's tree is being moved because it was not in the official plans for the new-build estate.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 10, 2026 at 8:05 AM
Regret to report that those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council are at it again. Properly at it again.
“Joe Marlin” is an anagram of “Porno Ron” #NobodyChecksAnagrams
February 10, 2026 at 8:00 AM
“Joe Marlin” is an anagram of “Porno Ron” #NobodyChecksAnagrams
It’s a sad day when locals are forced to go on TV quiz show in order to afford car park fees.
February 10, 2026 at 7:48 AM
It’s a sad day when locals are forced to go on TV quiz show in order to afford car park fees.
That’s one poor quality speed nob, no wonder he wants a beloved Aussie children’s TV character with a pencil for a nose to fix it.
Someone drew a 'dick pic' on Rick's lawn - so he's looking for a Mr Squiggle to fix it
'We've got a big penis in our front yard - I don't know if that's really going to...
www.illawarramercury.com.au
February 10, 2026 at 7:42 AM
That’s one poor quality speed nob, no wonder he wants a beloved Aussie children’s TV character with a pencil for a nose to fix it.