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Captain Howdy

@captainhowdy.bsky.social

4K followers 320 following 2.9K posts

Occasional maker of pictures. Fourthwall: https://captain-howdy-shop.fourthwall.com/en-gbp Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/captain-howdy/shop?asc=u

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 10d

The Slasher Olympics heralds the start of this year's Hallowmeme Countdown.
🎃

The 6 panel Bronze Medal meme. The top left panel shows an athlete bowing his head to receive his medal, but the athlete is now Freddy Krueger. The top right panel shows him biting down on the medal. The middle left panel shows him kissing the woman who placed the medal around his neck. The middle right panel shows him shouting with joy as he sticks up two middle fingers. The bottom left panel has him opening a lively bottle of Champagne. The bottom right panel shows him spraying his face with Champagne as he chugs from the bottle. He's standing on the 3rd place podium, which features the number 45+ (his rough killcount). Michael Myers is standing on the 2nd place podium with a killcount of 150+. On the 1st place podium is Jason Voorhees, with an approximate killcount of 160+. Before anyone dives in to tell me that, actually, I'm wrong because so-and-so has killed more people than such-and-such, I don't care. I looked at numerous sites that claim to have answered this exact question, and Michael and Jason often swap places, so I just went with the character I like more.

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David Ziggy Greene (Jam bookshop) @jambookshopuk.bsky.social · 4h

An independent bookshop is one of the best things you can support right now.

Visit one today & spend £10 on a book.
#bookshopday

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2h

From the vaults:

The "Fastest Things on Earth" meme which depicts four things that are increasingly faster than the other. The top left object is a cheetah, kicking up a cloud of dust. The speed bar below it indicates a yellow line that goes about 1/6 of the way along. The top right object is an airplane, with contrails streaming behind it. The speed bar below it indicates a light orange line that goes about 1/3 of the way along. The bottom left object is the speed of light, with a comet-like tail spreading out behind it. The speed bar below it indicates an orange line that goes about 2/3 of the way along. The bottom right object is Jason Voorhees. The speed bar below it is a full red line, because even though we only ever see him walking, this fucker can really shift when the cameras aren't looking.

The Screaming Woman and Cat meme, but the screaming woman is now Quint, the captain of the Orca from 'Jaws'. His friend, (although history tells us otherwise), is Matt Hooper, also from 'Jaws'. The cat has been replaced with the image of the shark from the 'Jaws' book/movie poster. On the plate in front of him are 3, small yellow barrels. Can he get all 3 down before the dessert trolley arrives? I believe so.

The "You Know, I'm Something of a Scientist Myself" meme, but the image is now in black and white. Willem Dafoe is still Willem Dafoe, but he's no longer Norman Osborn from the 'Spider-Man' movies - he's now Thomas Wake, from "The Lighthouse" (2019), complete with his lighthouse keeper's hat and big bushy beard. In the background we can see Ephraim Winslow/Thomas Howard (Robert Pattinson) arguing with the one-eyed gull. On the grassy area behind them is the mermaid scrimshaw Winslow finds, but it's now a much larger statue. Walking up the stairs, and to the left of Mr. Dafoe, is the "actual" mermaid from the movie (Valeriia Karaman). The wording now reads: "Ye know, I be something of a lighthouse keeper meself."

The "Why Would X Do This" meme. The 1st image shows Dr. Loomis from "Halloween" (1978) pointing a smoking gun at the slumped figure of Michael Myers in a chair. The 2nd image shows Dr. Loomis, gun at his side, looking straight at the camera. Michael Myers remains slumped in the chair. The 3rd and final image shows Dr. Loomis, gun still at his side, still looking straight at us, as the figure of Michael Myers now sits bolt upright in his chair, (because that boy is practically immortal).

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2h

In fairness, the flying bike is still cool, but it ain't no interplanetary craft.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2h

Alt. text: a short clip "The Joy of Sect" episode of The Simpsons showing The Leader leaving a barn in his spanky flying saucer, much to the amazement of the gathered crowd. But as he rises higher it begins to fall apart, revealing The Leader sitting on a flying bicycle while making funny noises.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 2h

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couchtripper @couchtripper.com · 3h

#eggs #hats #etc

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Joe Scaramangaaaaarrrrrggghhh!🎃 @joescaramanga.co.uk · 24d

Not sure what this is doing in my local B&M car park, but I'm ok with it.

A b&w printed picture of Keith Harris and Orville on a white board surrounded by bushes in a car park.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 3h

Today's Hallowmeme.

The "Trade Offer" meme which shows a long-haired man in a suit, with his fingers templed in front of him and an aloof look on his face, as he offers you a trade deal from his blacklit office. The man is now clearly one of the living dead, with a deathly pallor, red eyes, pointy teeth and some serious Spock ears. His offer is that he will receive all of your blood, while you receive life eternal as his willing slave. Tough call. I guess you could always take the offer and stake him on the first night when his guard is down and he's banging on about how you need to call him "Master", then you get all of eternity to do as you please.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 4h

Lovely photos, Pete. We had beautiful blue skies and white fluffy clouds right up until the moment we set foot on the sands, when it suddenly became a singular flat grey and decidedly haunted.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 4h

When we got there, the tide was about as far out as it could possibly get. We walked for 2 miles across an eerie, completely deserted beach, until we eventually reached the sea. I threw the single symbolic stone I'd picked up earlier into the waves and we headed back to the café for a sandwich.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 5h

It was all rainbows and butterflies prior to this.

The wooden Lifeboat Horse at Wells-Next-The-Sea stands on a sandbank as it waits for the tide to return.

Reposted by Captain Howdy

HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 5h

Monster Month day 11 - Holey Joe

A white cartoon character with a hole where it's face should be

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 5h

"QUIS EST ISTE QUI UENIT"

This is why you should never blow old whistles you find on the beach.
#WhoIsThisWhoIsComing

A dark figure follows me across the lone and level sands of the beach at Wells-Next-The-Sea. I'm sure it's nothing supernatural...

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Hey Kids Rock'n'Roll @heykidsshop.bsky.social · 5h

NEW! from heykidsrocknroll.etsy.com
My Little PLAGUE DOCTOR!
It's Octoberrific fun!

A paper model of a plague doctor. He is dressed in black with a long-nosed white mask and a white satin ribbon on the end of a cocktail stick cane

The same model but on a red background with some atmospheric fairy lights

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Reposted by Captain Howdy

Helen Day @lbflyawayhome.bsky.social · 7h

An observation test for you - for your inner 8 year-old

“The artist has hidden 12 things in this picture. How many can you find?”

Treasure magazine, 1964
Official answers coming soon

(Even if you don’t reply, could you please ‘like’ or share this one? 🙏)

Black-and-white picture of two children playing in woodland. Also in the picture, there are 12 hidden animals including an owl, a bat and a squirrel.

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ULTRA💀BLAST @ultrakillblast.bsky.social · 1d

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Today's Hallowmeme is bit of a rush job as we're about to head to the coast so I can throw rocks at the North Sea.

The "Golden Ticket" meme which shows Charlie Bucket looking excited as he holds up a winning golden ticket for a trip to Willy Wonka's Murder Emporium, but the golden ticket is now a page from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis from "The Evil Dead" (1981), and Chuck's now a Deadite.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Reading an article about the billionaire bunker boys, and this paragraph is pretty much what everyone has been saying about the most obvious outcome, yet the super rich still seem oblivious, or too egotistical, to understand that, if it does all go to shit, they're immediately surplus to requirement

From the BBC article about the mega wealthy building their Apocalypse bunkers in the far-flung corners of the globe: "But there's a distinctly human flaw. I once met a former bodyguard of one billionaire with his own "bunker", who told me his security team's first priority, if this really did happen, would be to eliminate said boss and get in the bunker themselves. And he didn't seem to be joking."

I mean, why would anyone, as a well-trained survivor, take orders from someone who serves no purpose other than to act as a drain on precious resources?

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Alt. text: a heavily armoured lorry with machine guns blasts a guy in a frog costume who was riding a tiny bicycle.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Beautifully batshit.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

It's a Takashi Mike movie, and this is a relatively tame scene in comparison to the rest of the film. If you like vampires, kaiju and lots of punching, this is definitely for you.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Scrappy-Doo. Godzuki had the good grace to keep his mouth shut, except when he was blowing smoke rings or going "muuuurgh" to call his uncle.

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Happy anniversary.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Alt. text: an exterior daytime gif from "Yakuza Apocalypse" showing a guy in a frog costume kicking the shit out of 5 geezers.

Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 1d

Not saying it's the same frog, but they're clearly related. The scary bit comes when they take the costume off.

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