Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Machu Pikacchu

@judet.bsky.social

770 followers 360 following 13K posts

Smartass. Current Wisconsinite. Formerly lived in a metal tube underwater. Does not suffer fools gladly, or at all. Anecdotes are not data. Come for the snark, stay for the tiny dog photos.

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · Jan 10

Gonna start a running list of things Americans absolutely do NOT understand, but have strong opinions about anyway:
-federal gov’t
-state gov’t
-the economy
-freedom of speech
-well regulated militia
-climate change
-insurance
-immunology
-immigration

I anticipate dying before I finish.

6 14 50

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 1h

Oh please do fuck all the way off.

Sally Jenkins @sallyjenx.bsky.social · 3h

This is really smart. Amazed at the hysteria over the ascendance of a woman entrepreneur who clearly knows how to cover and sell news and who's not afraid to take on a mob. www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archiv...

Don’t Bet Against Bari Weiss

The new editor in chief of CBS News triumphs over her critics.

www.theatlantic.com

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 7h

But ha ha! That Biden sure was old!

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 7h

But ha ha! That Biden sure was old!

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 7h

Stroke Grandpa is up late at night not remembering that he was President on January 6, 2021.

1 1 7

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 1d

I don't know who let two MM2 nukes on the bridge, but I'm sure that guy got court-martialed.

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 9d

Post you from a different era (1996).

I'm the guy with the binoculars.

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 1d

Today in History: In 1913, Joe Simon was born in Rochester, New York. In 1940, he came up with the idea of Captain America, and his creative partner Jack Kirby ran with it. So I guess it's Captain America's father's birthday, and that means it's time once again for this illustration.

1 3

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 1d

This would be incredibly insulting if they were instant mashed potatoes.

Parker Molloy @parkermolloy.com · 1d

Who among us hasn't stumped scalding mashed potatoes on our spouse's head?

New York Post Y
@nypost
x.com
Katie Porter dumped scalding mashed potatoes on then-husband's head, resurfaced divorce docs reveal

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 1d

White folks' weddings are apparently ground zero for The Resistance, I guess.

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

What us this asshole on about.

2 2

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

Who gives a fuck.

2 1 5

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

Oh they often require me to expand them. I think that's in my settings. Just odd that this one didn't!

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

Weird that this one doesn't get the "adult content" label.

But lovely!

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

In their defense, it's not struggle to deep-throat his pathetic little cock.

Sarah Posner @sarahposner.bsky.social · 2d

These people are absolutely pathetic in their subservience to Trump

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 2d

Rep. Buddy Carter: "Donald Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. That's why I'm introducing a resolution today that will honor him with the Nobel Peace Prize."

(It doesn't work like that lol)

Reposted by Machu Pikacchu

SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 2d

Sadly, it later turns out nobody knows how to build an ark anymore.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/life-7
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/c/ZachWeiner...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Four-panel SMBC comic update where a woman is talking to God, asking where there isn't more intelligent life in the universe. God responds that there isn't supposed to be, and that by coincidence self replicators appeared and then developed the ability to suffer and now He's stuck with it. God asks the woman what she would do if worm civilization suddenly sprung from an old noodle dish in the sink, and she says that she would probably forget about it and destroy it accidentally while washing her hands, which God appreciates.

1 16 140

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

I'm such a submariner at heart that I refer to my wife's butthole as her stern tube.

1 1

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

Thinking about updating some classic jokes.

For example:

A woman walks into a Subaru dealership, and the dealer comes over and says "Ma'am, are you thinking of buying a Subaru?"

And she says "No, I'm *buying* a Subaru. I'm *thinking* of pussy."

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

This is the guy that won the war in the Pacific. With huge assists from Ernest J. King in Washington and Ray Spruance on the high seas.

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

Also, and not for nothing, look at the way this article accurately transcribe Pritzker's remarks, including all the "you knows." Now contrast that with how press accounts typically clean up Trump's insane ramblings.

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

I never thought I would earnestly use the term "viziers" to describe the people around the President of the United States of America, but here we are.

Greg Sargent @gregsargent.bsky.social · 2d

JB Pritzker has also been emphatically placing Trump's mental decline squarely on the agenda. On our pod, he adds a new element: People around Trump are using his decline to manipulate him, so they're less likely to intervene. More Dems should say this. 1/

newrepublic.com/article/2016...

1 1 3

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

so sweet
and so cold-blooded

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

(His time there and my wife's did not overlap as he died in 1984 when she was three years old. Also there are still some of his crayon drawings in the archive there.)

Machu Pikacchu @judet.bsky.social · 2d

He wasn't even a serial killer! He confessed to two murders. He lived out the rest of his days in the state insane asylum (where my wife currently works as a psychiatrist), and was, by all accounts, a very pleasant man to deal with. He made crayon drawings and went to dances. He just liked corpses.

1 5