Author | Lightnews

Keef

@keef.org

930 followers 370 following 1.5K posts

Horror / fairy tale writer, dipshit, he/him. The wolf inside me is the Baba Yaga. Stories in Coffin Bell, X-Ray, Five on the Fifth, &c. Links to writing at horriblelittlefables.com & weird sound collage podcast at uhid.net Avatar by James Kochalka.

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Keef @keef.org · Oct 2

WOW

Keef @keef.org · Oct 2

NEW SHORTS WHO DIS

This is a picture of me, poolside, wearing my first pair of bodybuilding shorts (given to me by A Friend). The shorts are leopard-spotted, and come up to cover my navel. My arms are raised and I’m flexing my biceps, like a real tough guy. It turns out that bodybuilding shorts do a great job at concealing one’s gut.

Keef @keef.org · Aug 31

CALL ME ISHMAEL

An orange cat lying on a bed, mouth caught mid-yawn, teeth bared but somehow still adorable.

Keef @keef.org · Aug 31

Practicing my “rizzed-up selfies” as an almost fifty year old man. Maybe I’ll get the hang of it in another decade or so.

A “rizzed-up selfie” of yours truly. Beard a little too skraggly. Glasses a little too low. One eyebrow cocked a little too confidently. Smirk not quite smiley enough. Tugging down the collar of my black t-shirt in an unearned gesture of lackluster machismo. Fuck it, I’m still cute

Keef @keef.org · Apr 26

It's been a hell of a year, but a crowd of people gathering to listen to other people make music is always satisfying.

This time it's the band Explosions in the Sky on the stage, surrounded by fog, with lights flashing all around. Four dudes with guitars and a drummer. Wild.

Keef @keef.org · Apr 26

Live music is such a balm for the soul.

Godspeed You! black Emperror on the stage at Austin Psych Fest. I was close enough to feel the rumble of the stacks, which is a lot of the point.

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Reposted by Keef

Neon Splatter @neonsplatter.bsky.social · Apr 24

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Keef @keef.org · Mar 27

Well now. This is probably pretty overdue.

The ceiling of a room. The room is darkened. Shining on the ceiling is a pall of blue light, with a field of green "stars." Also visible on the ceiling: a vent; an emergency fire alarm light; several unlit can lights; another, smaller vent; a CCTV camera.

Keef @keef.org · Feb 18

Now they know how I feel, at least.

The chat support window for Spotify.

Transcript:

I'm good, thanks for asking.
[Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18

Can you please elaborate your concern?
[Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18

Well, Joe Rogan is an idiot with an enormous platform that is actively harming both our country and the world at large. It drives me nuts that part of the money I pay to Spotify goes to that goon. I would like to request that none of my subscription money goes to him or his ghoulish podcast.
You at 12:22 PM, Feb 18

Follow up Spotify Support chat.
Transcript:

... your feedback to the right team, so that they will look into it. We'll make sure to pass your feedback along
[Spotify Agent] at 12:34 PM, Feb 18

Thank you! Just register my dissatisfaction that Spotify pays that doofus a ridiculous amount of money to blather his
misinformation to ridiculous amounts of people.
You at 12:35 PM, Feb 18

Please don't worry, I have taken your concern as a feedback and let the right team know, so that they will look into it.
[Spotify Agent] at 12:37 PM, Feb 18

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Dana Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror 🎃 @danacorn.bsky.social · Feb 16

Boy howdy, do I, a trans woman, have some thoughts about how the gender revolution put a lot more emphasis on letting girls do boy stuff, and almost none on letting boys do girl stuff, which if anything reinforced the idea that girl stuff is inferior if not shameful.

Ida Clemens @idaclemens.bsky.social · Feb 16

I think it's one of the strongest examples of how our gender revolution to this point has been incomplete, mostly a half-effort of increasing tolerance for women doing "masculine" tasks without actually degendering most tasks, while it remains taboo for men to indulge anything seen as feminine.

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

It's a late-80s movie, so it's vile in some of those kind of ways, although it is classist in the correct direction. It's also a Brian Yuzna movie (he produced Re-Animator), so it's pretty gross too. But it's VERY funny body horror.

Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

I was cackling for the entire last twenty minutes. It really navigated the sad / funny straits extremely well.
...
Have you seen SOCIETY? l... cannot recommend Society, but... I love Society.

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

TWICE. IT WAS SO GOOD

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

I have not seen that, nor will I. Even at the outset it seemed weird, but not my flavor of weird. Give me body horror over well-meaning but racist musicals any day of the week

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

Pretty baffling choices. I've seen some clips of it and thought "oh that looks charming" but now no thanks. Like the one where gosling does the face and Emma stone laughs at him? Or something like that? But not as part of that larger debacle, nope

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

Wow. Wowwwwwww. Someone wrote that. Someone wrote it and then someone else was like "sounds good to me," and then several dozen people were like "sure, why not."

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 16

... I'm sorry, what

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 14

A PILE OF SMASHED CRABS

Keef @keef.org · Feb 13

Hey, neat! It's Amazing Spider-Man 5, from 1963! It's the first time Spidey and Dr. Doom interacted! This was hiding in the corner of a lot I won for a truly cute amount on the internets. Probably the best score I will ever find.

The Amazing Spider-Man number 5! Spidey swings his way across the cover, but Doom has severed his web! He's about to land in some... lava or something!
CAPTION:
"It had to happen! Sooner or later, SPIDER-MAN was bound to battle DOCTOR DOOM!"
Dr. Doom's word balloon:
"This is your FINISH, Spider-Man! If the FANTASTIC FOUR couldn't stop me, what chance have YOU?"
Art by Steve Ditko.

Reposted by Keef

Asher Hellbein @asherelbein.bsky.social · Feb 5

I hate it when my ailing king is usurped by his scheming foreign vizier

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hookland.bsky.social @hookland.bsky.social · Feb 5

The land stirs from winter torpor in snowbell peal, in Stay Below rising. Jackdaws quest for twigs, toads wake. The witch hears whispers of green promise, the song of pussy willow swelling to silver. Feral magics swim her blood. – #EmilyCBanting, 1982 #WitchSky

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Mona Lisa Vito @outofnames.bsky.social · Jan 3

Honestly if you show me a cat that can operate a zippo I’ll send them a pack of Virginia Slims.

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 5

DONE

Keef @keef.org · Feb 5

My kid just literally relayed your comments to the cat.

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Keef @keef.org · Feb 5

My kid had naming rights. The name is SPOT ON.

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