OnlyFangs
@onlycans.bsky.social
2.4K followers 410 following 1.8K posts
local milf driven half mad by an accumulation of text and images
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onlycans.bsky.social
drag queen tucked my clothing label in tonight. humiliating. think I might extrapolate tonight's incident to create unhealable fissures in the queer community.
onlycans.bsky.social
SharePoint upgrade coming soon
impavid.us
In honor of spooky month, share a 4 word horror story that only someone in your profession would understand

I'll go first: Six page commercial lease.
onlycans.bsky.social
i guess most people called keir starmer don't go around creating a gang called the kier starmer stabbers, but what do i know, i'm not a political strategist.
onlycans.bsky.social
alex if there are still people insistent on creating praetorian guards, then this list is always going to be a work in progress.
onlycans.bsky.social
Tag yourself, I'm all of these
waltydunlop.bsky.social
Job occupations, from an 1881 census. Every one of these sounds like something a sorely provoked Captain Haddock would should at someone in times of heavy stress.
onlycans.bsky.social
my favourite interaction with a trans woman was one clocking me from a distance, doing a double take, running over a road and then excitedly announcing, "hi, have you had your surgery? I have." incredible behaviour 💯/💯 interaction
onlycans.bsky.social
where's the fucking mini cheddars Dee?
Reposted by OnlyFangs
deeboom.bsky.social
One of those cat cafés but the cats are pints and you drink them and talk to your pals and set the world to rights about politics, someone puts The Pogues on and everyone sings along and then you get a one last pint and just make it to the chippy before it closes and everything's great
hellvetikaseraph.bsky.social
One of those cat cafes but the cats are puppy girls and you sit on them.
theemmabot.bsky.social
One of those maid cafes but the maids are shitposters
Reposted by OnlyFangs
badideas.bsky.social
Holy shit someone uploaded the entire stage play adaptation of the Yakuza videogame series with English subtitles and it’s glorious and 500x better than the Amazon show youtu.be/Z2Msr4si6dU?...
onlycans.bsky.social
managed to source my nbife gummies (i'm 44, it's hard, no I will not understand crypto) and they've been happily watching the same toucan video for ages because "it has pleasurable haptics"
onlycans.bsky.social
well done zohran mamdani, with your bare minimum you have made three drinks me sob like a baby, i hope you're proud of yourself.
onlycans.bsky.social
someone i work with had an extremely large myspace following and their profile pic on there is still one of them wearing a lostprophets t-shirt. they lost the password many years ago and he has never found a way to get it taken down. ruh roh.
onlycans.bsky.social
if you don't know what he did, don't go looking. honestly. an absolute piece of shit.
onlycans.bsky.social
Ian Watkins singer from Lostprophets
onlycans.bsky.social
you can be glad a child sex offender is dead and also feel discomfort that this disgusting prison system gets to decide who it extends protection to and who it doesn't
onlycans.bsky.social
bought a visualisation of a 2023 bird study along the river trent by a man whose stall was entirely swan based, thanks for asking.
A 2023 bird study of river trent represented visual by a blue river with various colour dots on a white background
onlycans.bsky.social
Oh there were vinyls
onlycans.bsky.social
I don't make the sexx laws around here
onlycans.bsky.social
went to four independent markets today. have interacted with artists, queers, DJs and goths. exhausted and yet feel like this has just unlocked a larger, even more exhausting final market boss.
onlycans.bsky.social
Trying to work out if I know know the person over there or whether I merely know them from transgender.
onlycans.bsky.social
Unsolicited Henry Clay Frick pic
It's gilded age industrialist Henry Clay Frick. Smug cunt
onlycans.bsky.social
sorry but weed is the worst drug with the worst cheerleaders and the worst music and the worst attendant culture. they should legalise it, but then make it double illegal for people who try to talk to you about jam bands or convince you adult swim was ever good.
onlycans.bsky.social
good evening to the irish AND lobsters
Pissing contests are not unique to humans. Trevor Corson's The Secret Life of Lobsters describes a pissing match between lobsters:[13]

The American lobster urinates not from some posterior region of its body, but directly out the front of its face. Two bladders inside the head hold copious amounts of urine, which the lobster squirts through a pair of muscular nozzles beneath its antennae. These powerful streams mix with the gill outflow and are carried some five feet ahead of the lobster in its plume ... What the researchers discovered during the ensuing fights was that dueling lobsters accompanied their most punishing blows during combat by intense squirts of piss at the opponent's face. What was more, in scenes akin to a showdown at the OK Corral, the winner of the physical combat almost always turned out to be the lobster that had urinated first. And well after the fight was over, the winner kept pissing. By contrast, the loser shuts off his urine valves immediately.