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patrick

@partnardy.bsky.social

2K followers 770 following 7.9K posts

toll free music at 1-844-926-7825

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · Oct 10

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 2h

(david bowie we can be heroes voice) weekend at bernies

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 12h

That's just being book and dollar smart.

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 12h

paranoid lit bro squirrels be like I'm reading the new Thomas Pinecone novel

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 12h

I will be making a bad post in four minutes, at 12:00am AST.

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 22h

saw a huge vape cloud float into view at the end of the alley and then emerged its creator in an I FIND YOUR LACK OF SARCASM DISTURBING tshirt

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 23h

why would they use AI for this? didn't we already have enough real videos of queen elizabeth farting?

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Reposted by patrick

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · Jun 14

no kings except suc-"king" my own dick. and brother, long live the king

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

You have a 12-foot skeleton in your yard? That's great. I actually think skeletons should be free to live their lives not shackled up in front of people's houses but go off I guess.

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

How about "I just cracked an egg on your casa." Get some hard comedy K-sounds in there?

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

Don't call me late for dinner before I've had my coffee in my ear and tell me it's raining

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Reposted by patrick

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · Oct 9

you couldnt make blazing saddles today because it's bed time

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Reposted by patrick

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

It’s the classic tale of the trapeze artist who fell to his death one too many times

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Reposted by patrick

bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 1d

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

Difficult

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

Unlocking the Labubu dust jacket at level 100

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

A book should cost $9.95/month.

Rachel Feder @rachelfeder.bsky.social · 2d

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 1d

IDF commander like “How are we supposed to kill those hostages if they’ve all been released?”

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 2d

Added bonus of having to serve at least some time since you're sure as shit not getting legally prosecuted for all the insider trading you absolutely got up to.

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 2d

My dream policy idea is that all elected officials have to go to prison when they leave office, sentence determined by level of power, facility chosen at random. If the prime minister knows he's immediately going to the can for five years when gets out, he might make shit nicer before it's his turn.

onion person @junlper.beer · 2d

just found out that about a week ago, while george santos has been in solitary confinement, that he wrote that due to the inhuman conditions he is facing he is now pro prison reform. just unreal stuff honestly

Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, I paced in circles like a restless ghost.
The windows were frosted, allowing only a faint suggestion of daylight and nightfall, enough to remind me that time was passing, though I had little sense of how.
The shower water was always cold, and my only amenities were the steel toilet and sink fused together in the corner. It was a miserable existence. Yet, as I soon learned, misery can always be deepened
On September 7th, the warden's office saw fit to move me into something far worse, an even smaller cell, no more than seven by nine feet, coated in filth, reeking of neglect, and utterly devoid of natural light or ventilation.
In that suffocating shoebox, there is no room to walk, no hint of the sun, no trace of humanity. The silence is crushing.
The air feels stale. The walls themselves seem to close in. I keep asking myself: will this barbaric confinement ever end? Is this legal under our Constitution, or have I simply been erased from the protections of due process?
Most haunting of all, will I survive it? With no access to my family, no calls, no emails, and with letters that may never leave this building, I live in total darkness, cut off from the world I once fought to serve.
Let me be blunt: I find Warden Kelly's so-called "protection" not only unpalatable, but cruel and unjustifiable. My time here has opened my eyes to a truth far too many ignore: America desperately needs prison reform.

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Reposted by patrick

deus_ex.txt @deus-ex-txt.bsky.social · 2d

I command you! Kill me!

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 2d

MLB teams should be required to give each of their players $1,000 in DraftKings bonuses to use every game so they can get sports gambling out of their systems safely.

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 2d

giving thanks for certain shit

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 3d

schlurg

patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 3d

Why can’t I get the candy directly, instead of dealing with a web site?

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patrick @partnardy.bsky.social · 3d

But how do I get the candy?

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