Chris Crofton
@thecroftonshow.bsky.social
1.4K followers 45 following 1.9K posts
⚡️☕️☕️✍️ Author of⚡️”THE ADVICE KING ANTHOLOGY”⚡️IT IS OUT!!!!! on @vanderbiltUP✨Available NOW!!!!!!⚡️☕️☕️❤️
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Reposted by Chris Crofton
⚡️THE NEW ADVICE KING!!!! Clean cussing!!!! 🤬🤬🤬
Reposted by Chris Crofton
Reposted by Chris Crofton
Reposted by Chris Crofton
Reminder that this state law, the PEACE Act, came straight from Metro’s version - thanks to @freddieoconnell.bsky.social & heavy lobbying from the Jewish Federation.
Reposted by Chris Crofton
Authorities determined that the house failed to look left, right, and left again which led to the collision
Reposted by Chris Crofton
Obviously Metro Nashville taxpayers need to partially fund a new head coach for the Titans.
PETE HEGSETH WAVES BYE-BYE

authoritarianism
is fun

for the few

until
the many

wise-up
When Pete Hegseth waves bye-bye
CELL PHONE TOWER

runaway
slave
tracker
CELL PHONE TOWER

what is that little thing
dragging behind that guy’s truck??

a cell phone

that’s
my crazy
Uncle Fred

he’s a cell phone tower
Also: who has a question ABOUT NASHVILLE for the Advice King??? 👑
Poetry window is open for 45 min
BEAUTIFUL BAY

I wrote a letter to
the bay

Dear Bay,
how do you look so nice, without
trying? I feel like such a mess all the time, you know?
-Chris

the bay can’t answer
stuff like that

but I recommend
writing letters to the bay

anyway
@thecroftonshow.bsky.social
Found this beautiful bay and thought you might like it for poetry window sometime.
A sandy beach, marred by many footprints, leads to a deep blue bay with storm clouds hanging low overhead casting shadows on the water.
FINDING $5 IN A THRIFT STORE COAT POCKET

Tom Waits song:

in it,
that $5
could have
paid the
electric bill
that would have
saved the unhappy
marriage

but after the break-up
they both find their
true calling -

driving a Greyhound bus
Finding a $5 in a thrift store cost pocket.
MODERN DAY HERO

a modern day hero
loves
their neighbor
like they love themselves

no caveats

no conditions

no excuses
SKELETON JELLY

my drunk
mother-in-law
said stuff like this
right before
she pulled
the fire alarm at
the mall
JANE GOODALL

playing
cards with chimps
is a job?!?!

BRB
FORBIDDEN YOUTUBE

forbidden YouTube?!?!!!

now we’re talking

show me the
REAL
abandoned amusement parks

I can take it!