😘

Hey thanks, cutie!

I love it when my very straight barber says “I left a little curl for you.”

We're all going to write pieces about what you can learn from tonight but it's actually pretty simple: The frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.

I miss my bike. I am so out of shape that it’s made a bottom of me. But years of cycling left me with a champion ass so this may be a stiff uphill climb back to the top.

The number of times I heard someone say “he’s just such a muffin” as the results came in last night.

******If you’re in line to tell Chuck Schumer to eat shit, stay in line!!******

They sound like laser tag guns firing when they all chirp at once. This kills me.

Sorry to name drop before coffee, but this morning I’ve gotten lit while several cardinals, blue jays, chickadees, nuthatches, titmice, sparrows, woodpeckers, wrens and juncos — the juncos are back! — have all come by to visit my feeder & peanut buffet piles. Sadly this milkshake contains allergens.

Jail.

Don’t forget the codpiece!

PSA to subs, there’s a lot of baseball watching dudes out there who need a large coffee and slow head this morning. let’s leave it all out on the field today

Seems a simple enough question. 😉

Hugs. 🫂

Still feels like Trump literally demolishing the White House is lazy writing and way too on the nose, even for a metaphor.

Updating my LEGO White House

Possibly the best yet, you beast. Woof.

😘

I like how the news will be like “while the President claiming Portland was ruled by a giant skeleton named Mr Nibbles is not strictly true, it does speak to the anxiety of many Americans”

Send the flowers. Such a sweet way to say you’re away but thinking of him!

Literally just said “woah” over my coffee. You’re a handsome devil.

I want you to not be able to unsee that.

good morning

It’s awkward that Tom Brady is terrible at his new job.