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Viktor Winetrout

@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social

41K followers 550 following 5.7K posts

Contributor: @theonion.com, @sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · Nov 21

When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 15h

i've been listening to him all week- i'm jealous. have fun!

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 16h

"There are TWELVE secret herbs & spices!” I scream as federal agents shove me into a black SUV

6 15 130

Reposted by Viktor Winetrout

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · Feb 8

[slips mortician $20] Great job he looks really dead

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Reposted by Viktor Winetrout

Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 4d

The plot of the next Simpsons movie should be the kids at Springfield Elementary digging up a time capsule that was buried 40 years ago and realizing they're the same children who buried it because their world hasn't aged in 4 decades.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22h

Yes, the comedians were the real winners because...they said so

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22h

that's what gives them their thin crunchiness

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22h

exactly lol

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22h

yeah, but what's the alternative-- a synthetic lab-grown potato?

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22h

i swear like 20 yrs ago you'd see a poll asking americans if they believed in bigfoot or we faked the moon landing and it was a tiny fraction of people who believed that shit. now it seems half the country is your crazy neighbor dave