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The Ace Tomato Company

@acetomatocompany.bsky.social

370 followers 290 following 1.6K posts

A left-wing mob of cybernetically enhanced coyotes into all manner of ill shit. Actually, it's just one retired (emphasis on tired) squid with a serious phobia related to random wires sticking out of the ground and a love of flying and airplanes.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · Jan 28

There is no race, national origin, religion, creed, sexual orientation, or gender identity with a monopoly on patriotism.

There is, unfortunately, a certain subset of white heterosexual men who believe they have the right to dictate who is and is not fit to serve.

That latter group can fuck off.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

Imma have to remember that one.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

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Blind guy walks into a bar with a dog. Goes to a corner, picks up the dog, pirouettes, and puts the dog down. Goes to another corner, does it again. Goes to the center of the bar, same thing. At this point, the bartender tells him to knock it off. Blind guy says "hey, I'm just looking around."

a man in a suit and tie with the words stop it above him

ALT: a man in a suit and tie with the words stop it above him

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

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Man walks into a bar and says "dammit who left that there?"
Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "we got a drink named after you" and the grasshopper says "you got a drink named Carl?"
Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"

a close up of a cat 's face with a long mustache .

ALT: a close up of a cat 's face with a long mustache .

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

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On the side of a lake? Reid
Who made a hole? Doug
Who looks for things? Hunter
Who makes you louder? Mike
On one knee? Neal
In the middle of the ocean? Fucked

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

a painting of a woman laying in a bed with a blue blanket and a white pillow

ALT: a painting of a woman laying in a bed with a blue blanket and a white pillow

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

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DAD JOKES GO NOW!

What do you call a man:
In your pool? Bob
In your mailbox? Bill
On your bathroom floor? Matt
In your shrubs? Russell
On your wall? Art
With a rash and a squeaky voice? Rusty
In an engine? Cam
Who shows up after you've died? Will

a group of stuffed animals are sitting at a table with cups and saucers

ALT: a group of stuffed animals are sitting at a table with cups and saucers

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 1d

I might just buy this for the same reason. I could do with more comfy in my life.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 2d

Mood.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

They also wanted buses versus trains / streetcars.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

Go Navy, indeed.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

Understandably so.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

Antifa drank all my beer and left my fridge open.
Antifa turned up my air conditioner and opened all me windows.
Antifa stuck gum on my windshield.
Antifa broke into my house, stole everything, and replaced it with exact duplicates.
Antifa wouldn't let me merge in traffic.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

They probably arrested a parking meter or drinking fountain.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

How my company decided to reorganize all of our SharePoint files.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 3d

Christ, I still taste the dust.
The exhaust lingering on the wind.
These memories never stop coming.
The drawing seconds counting toward the abyss.

I just wish it made sense.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Next, some baked political hack with a face like an ill-maintained '80s car dashboard will come out and blame it on Motrin intake, water consumption, and sock changing habits.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Same. I investigated their music (wanted to know what I was laughing at) and immediately regretted doing so.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

The alignment of the optic over his mouth is *chef's kiss.*

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Trying to figure out how to submit NOTAM for various airports. Such as:

- ALL TRAFFIC SHALL PREFACE TAXI REQUESTS WITH 'PLEASE'
- RAMP FEES PAID ONLY IN GOATS.
- IFR READBACKS SHALL BE PERFORMED AS OPERA.
- IS THIS THING ON?
- TAXIWAY BRAVO CLOSED DUE TO ATC PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

a man in a suit and tie is saying i 'm not one for " i told you so " but

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is saying i 'm not one for " i told you so " but

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

See also, pilots doing the cabin announcements on Guard and the aftermath.

Delta pilot transmits on guard - HILARIOUS AUDIO!

YouTube video by RadarContact

youtu.be

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Meowing on Guard is a whole thing with pilots. It's the aviation equivalent of drawing penises all over the inside of a Porta Potty.

Some people (not me, no sir,) find it hilarious in certain circumstances. Other people find it enraging to the point of committing murder most foul.

The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Yeah. Yesterday it was just Palm Beach. Daytona followed today. I thought it was just up on NAS Status, but nope. They're actual NOTAM for KPBI and KDAB.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

If you ever wanted to fly through a Bravo while blasting Taylor Swift on Tower and meowing your ass off on Guard, now is the time.

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

The dog left the room because the music is loud. Sorry pupper, Dad has to do Excel witchcraft.

a man in a suit and tie is holding a box over his head with the words everybody dance now above him

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding a box over his head with the words everybody dance now above him

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The Ace Tomato Company @acetomatocompany.bsky.social · 4d

Based on the NOTAM coming out of Daytona and Palm Beach, I think they're already going through some stuff.

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