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Elysia

@afflatusmisery.etheirys.social

1.2K followers 2.1K following 5.8K posts

θ∆ Furry, sapphic, casually feminine, she/they, 30+ years old. 🔞 You'll see weird shit here. Mainly likes cute furry stuff, FFXIV, and vore. formerly @afflatusmiisery on the birdsite | icon by @dranoko.bsky.social

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · Oct 11

Hello! I'm Elysia! I'm mostly just here to have a good time and post about whatever. If you enjoy:

-furry stuff
-sports rambling
-video games (especially Final Fantasy XIV)
-vore and other kinks (🔞!)

then I think you'll have a good time here! But even if not, I hope you have a good day!

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kc @allaganeyes.bsky.social · 3m

LETS GOOO MARINERS

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 20m

A game went 2/3 longer than it was supposed to and a team that's been perpetually unable to even make it to the playoffs and has never even been to the World Series is now 4 wins away from their first appearance ever

They haven't made it this far in 24 years

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Wintzards of the Coast @drilmagic.bsky.social · Sep 3

Strixhaven Stadium: the crack of the bat. the scent of a verdant field. The excitement of the crowd. These are the things that piss base ball fans off the most

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Talkin’ Baseball (Bot) @talkinbaseballbot.bsky.social · 26m

JORGE POLANCO SENDS THE MARINERS TO THE ALCS

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Talkin’ Baseball (Bot) @talkinbaseballbot.bsky.social · 26m

It will be Mariners vs. Blue Jays in the ALCS!

Seattle has NEVER been to the World Series, and Toronto has not been since 1993

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silverwuffamute @wuffaf.at · 34m

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 24 YEARS

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The Athletic @theathletic.com · 35m

The Mariners are headed to their first ALCS since 2001 ‼️

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Blue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social · 33m

Mariners win

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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 36m

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! MARINERS WIN!! MARINERS WIN!!!

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 36m

mariners won

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 35m

FUCK YES

GO MARINERS

a man in a seattle jersey stands in front of a crowd

ALT: a man in a seattle jersey stands in front of a crowd

media.tenor.com

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Jayrnski @jayrnski.bsky.social · Jan 25

it was on sale, okay?! 🖤

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

This is uniquely tragic, because while quarterback is the most pivotal and important position in sports, a great quarterback on an awful team won't be able to do a whole lot to turn it around. So these first-round QBs usually get blamed for the team's failures around him. Happens all the time.

Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

In the NFL, first-round quarterbacks have high expectations and if they don't work out for the teams that drafted them (which is common because teams picking QBs in the first round are usually terrible and desperate) they often spend the rest of their career as backups.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

Pretty wild that the 10 best passers by adjusted net yards per attempt so far this year includes SIX former first-round picks that were cast off by the teams that drafted them. Three of them, Darnold, Mayfield and Mac Jones, are on at least their THIRD team.

#ElySports

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

It's been a tumultuous career for him, to say the least. I wonder what insane way he'll burn bridges this time.

Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

He bounces around the NCAA until Arkansas hires him on as an offensive coordinator, 11 years after they fired him. He stuck around for a few years and now he has the head coaching spot again after Arkansas fired Sam Pittman.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

Petrino gets to coach Lamar Jackson, who would go on to be an MVP quarterback in the NFL, and as soon as Jackson leaves, the Louisville Cardinals absolutely crater and Petrino is fired again.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

It was a former Arkansas student he'd hired on as an assistant and was *also* having an affair with.

He was fired days later.

Then Louisville, the first school he'd abandoned, went and re-hired him. His old contract wouldn't even have expired by this point.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

Petrino signs with Arkansas and spends four years there. He wrecks his motorcycle one night and gives a press conference wearing a neck brace, where reporters ask him if there was a woman with him on the motorcycle. Turns out, there was.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

He isn't even in Atlanta for a year before Michael Vick is arrested and pleads guilty to his part in a dogfighting ring. The Falcons suck and Petrino abandons them too before finishing a single season. Again, doesn't even tell the team, just leaves little papers in everyone's lockers and dips.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

In 2006 he signs ANOTHER new contract at Louisville, 10 years and $25.5 million.

Six months later he abandoned Louisville to take the head coaching job with the Atlanta Falcons to coach Michael Vick. Didn't even tell his assistant coaches, just bounced as soon as he possibly could.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

He did this while his friend, Tommy Tuberville (yes, the current senator) was still occupying that position.

Louisville gives him a new contract, and Petrino says he wants to stay with Louisville. Five days later he interviews for the head coach job at LSU which pissed everyone at Louisville off.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

For the benefit of the non-sports people who follow me, here's a brief summary of the coaching career of Bobby Petrino.

His first head coaching gig is with Louisville in 2003. After only one season there, he secretly interviews with Auburn for their head coach position.

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Elysia @afflatusmisery.etheirys.social · 13h

ARKANSAS RE-HIRED BOBBY PETRINO!?

www.cbssports.com/college-foot...

This man is immune to karma, I swear. God. This is so fucking funny in a way I can't even express.

#ElySports

Bobby Petrino's redemption: Arkansas coach's road from infamy to interim

Bobby Petrino rides again at Arkansas, 13 years after an infamous accident and scandal led to his ouster

www.cbssports.com

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