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@anamiacity1.bsky.social
28 • vent account • un-dx'd dissociative system • ment-ill dx include [definitely not limited to] AuDHD, (C+)PTSD, ED, OCD • gw: too light to enIist • pro-recovery (DNI if you aren't as well)
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤
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![[text message]
- the sun will rise and we'll cry again.
- try*](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreih6awrq4ikbzpv7s5t2c6m7fxs7cnqoedzsfotp4csvolvg75k25i@jpeg)
no wonder my brain unpacked when we signed the house papers!! shit hahaha 30 yrs on paper?? that's apparently what safety/stability looked like to our subconscious 😂🤣💀
January 21, 2026 at 9:38 PM
no wonder my brain unpacked when we signed the house papers!! shit hahaha 30 yrs on paper?? that's apparently what safety/stability looked like to our subconscious 😂🤣💀
PT time cos between back and knee we're gonna stay in denial about the snow another day and maybe it'll fix itself lmao they haven't given us a warning yet like they did a couple yrs ago before we even had a shovel lmao. new home + chaotic moving problems. it's been weird to be here for so long tho.
January 21, 2026 at 9:33 PM
PT time cos between back and knee we're gonna stay in denial about the snow another day and maybe it'll fix itself lmao they haven't given us a warning yet like they did a couple yrs ago before we even had a shovel lmao. new home + chaotic moving problems. it's been weird to be here for so long tho.
B said he gonna get some fries for with dinner and idk how i feel about that 😭 pretty sure The Others would hate me if i said yes but ALSO, *counteroffer*, WhAt iF i JuSt BuRn It OfF 🤪
January 21, 2026 at 9:07 PM
B said he gonna get some fries for with dinner and idk how i feel about that 😭 pretty sure The Others would hate me if i said yes but ALSO, *counteroffer*, WhAt iF i JuSt BuRn It OfF 🤪
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almost threw back out last night during flashbacks so hopefully shoveling doesn't do me in 💀
January 21, 2026 at 9:00 PM
almost threw back out last night during flashbacks so hopefully shoveling doesn't do me in 💀
think i might have to shovel...we haven't yet this season and i feel like shit about it but like all of us are struggling...the neighbour sometimes plows the sidewalk and idk how to tell him thanks but our walkway to the house is shit. (low-key just wanna have a sign saying "just walk on the grass")
January 21, 2026 at 8:59 PM
think i might have to shovel...we haven't yet this season and i feel like shit about it but like all of us are struggling...the neighbour sometimes plows the sidewalk and idk how to tell him thanks but our walkway to the house is shit. (low-key just wanna have a sign saying "just walk on the grass")
bout to 🍃 smoke with B and then workout time. if we have the courage we'll show him some screenshots/notes/trauma info. he deserves to know and if he had a phone we probably would've texted it to him awhile ago cos writing is easier than speaking but oh well.
January 21, 2026 at 8:17 PM
bout to 🍃 smoke with B and then workout time. if we have the courage we'll show him some screenshots/notes/trauma info. he deserves to know and if he had a phone we probably would've texted it to him awhile ago cos writing is easier than speaking but oh well.
so nasus wn lyn dwn 😿
January 21, 2026 at 5:31 AM
so nasus wn lyn dwn 😿
got a feeling it'll be another random-power-nap night again. i feel like making so many lists that i need to make a list of what kinds of lists to make...i feel like normal people don't have this problem. also we need a programme to organise things in multiple ways idk how to explain what's in head.
January 21, 2026 at 4:25 AM
got a feeling it'll be another random-power-nap night again. i feel like making so many lists that i need to make a list of what kinds of lists to make...i feel like normal people don't have this problem. also we need a programme to organise things in multiple ways idk how to explain what's in head.
tried to lay down to confirm that it's a bad idea. dinner immediately started to come up. we ate HOURS ago WTF.
January 21, 2026 at 3:47 AM
tried to lay down to confirm that it's a bad idea. dinner immediately started to come up. we ate HOURS ago WTF.
my back is so phucked up i need helpp 😭
January 21, 2026 at 3:46 AM
my back is so phucked up i need helpp 😭
im so fucking tired 😭 still can't lay down tho so gonna try to do some more exercise...
January 21, 2026 at 3:42 AM
im so fucking tired 😭 still can't lay down tho so gonna try to do some more exercise...
having non verbal flashbacks which is nice for my vocal cords but it feels weird not screaming cos normally if we aren't vocalising at all it's cos we can't breathe but we actually can breathe rn (thanks to mel's Collar Theory) it still hurts tho and i wish i could turn off my stupid fucking brain 😖
January 21, 2026 at 3:41 AM
having non verbal flashbacks which is nice for my vocal cords but it feels weird not screaming cos normally if we aren't vocalising at all it's cos we can't breathe but we actually can breathe rn (thanks to mel's Collar Theory) it still hurts tho and i wish i could turn off my stupid fucking brain 😖
nah we gonna fuck around with harmonics some more. only LH is on fire, and harmonics doesn't aggravate it. RH is still okay for a bit.
January 21, 2026 at 1:03 AM
nah we gonna fuck around with harmonics some more. only LH is on fire, and harmonics doesn't aggravate it. RH is still okay for a bit.
bit by the guitar bug. haven't done any PT and fuck fibro now my fingers hurt even worse lol but maybe that was subconsciously intentional. we still have to type tomorrow tho.
January 21, 2026 at 12:56 AM
bit by the guitar bug. haven't done any PT and fuck fibro now my fingers hurt even worse lol but maybe that was subconsciously intentional. we still have to type tomorrow tho.
gonna do non-counting PT things and some heat therapy...def feel like working out but back muscles need the reset and we couldn't even focus to stay on track with music last night which made it even more frustrating...on the bright side the scale was lower again this morning. will reach gw Thur-Fri.
January 21, 2026 at 12:15 AM
gonna do non-counting PT things and some heat therapy...def feel like working out but back muscles need the reset and we couldn't even focus to stay on track with music last night which made it even more frustrating...on the bright side the scale was lower again this morning. will reach gw Thur-Fri.
low-key forgot M gave us a framed prayer for anniversary of one departed awhile ago....think after work gonna spend some time cleaning it (it's undoubtedly dusty)...got some beads to create/play with too...gonna finish work with NUMBers playlist...then switch to My Angels playlist for mini memorial.
January 20, 2026 at 8:27 PM
low-key forgot M gave us a framed prayer for anniversary of one departed awhile ago....think after work gonna spend some time cleaning it (it's undoubtedly dusty)...got some beads to create/play with too...gonna finish work with NUMBers playlist...then switch to My Angels playlist for mini memorial.
been listening to our NUMBers playlist cos 1-15 are traumatically problematic and we're trying to reclaim them. the music helps. we've been on 1001 for awhile tho so bout to go back to countdowns and maybe replay the whole thing idk.
January 20, 2026 at 8:17 PM
been listening to our NUMBers playlist cos 1-15 are traumatically problematic and we're trying to reclaim them. the music helps. we've been on 1001 for awhile tho so bout to go back to countdowns and maybe replay the whole thing idk.
less than an hour left of work. need to workout. want to sleep but bed/laying down/sleep is scary.
January 20, 2026 at 7:44 PM
less than an hour left of work. need to workout. want to sleep but bed/laying down/sleep is scary.
tw//sa
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HOW DID SAYING TR*M¶ NOT STOP THE ASSAULT. THAT SHOULD'VE WORKED, especially after saying the three other words we had even joked about using. i tried to tap out WHY COULDN'T I TAP OUT WHY DID IT NOT WORK.
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HOW DID SAYING TR*M¶ NOT STOP THE ASSAULT. THAT SHOULD'VE WORKED, especially after saying the three other words we had even joked about using. i tried to tap out WHY COULDN'T I TAP OUT WHY DID IT NOT WORK.
January 20, 2026 at 7:42 PM
tw//sa
.
.
.
HOW DID SAYING TR*M¶ NOT STOP THE ASSAULT. THAT SHOULD'VE WORKED, especially after saying the three other words we had even joked about using. i tried to tap out WHY COULDN'T I TAP OUT WHY DID IT NOT WORK.
.
.
.
HOW DID SAYING TR*M¶ NOT STOP THE ASSAULT. THAT SHOULD'VE WORKED, especially after saying the three other words we had even joked about using. i tried to tap out WHY COULDN'T I TAP OUT WHY DID IT NOT WORK.
i keep feeling like my arm is getting yanked behind me. my shoulder hurts, but nothing physical has happened to it. damn my ex damn my ex damn my ex.
January 20, 2026 at 7:38 PM
i keep feeling like my arm is getting yanked behind me. my shoulder hurts, but nothing physical has happened to it. damn my ex damn my ex damn my ex.
at least we're not hungry. we need to figure out how to communicate with B tho. i think he can tell something is off.
January 20, 2026 at 7:34 PM
at least we're not hungry. we need to figure out how to communicate with B tho. i think he can tell something is off.