Jason Kinkade
@bestifyoudont.com
Dad. K-12 teacher. Security guard.
bestifyoudont.com
☆ Climate change is an extinction-level event driven by capitalism.
☆ Billion-dollar-scale income inequality is a human rights violation.
☆ The social contract must guarantee no-cost healthcare.
bestifyoudont.com
☆ Climate change is an extinction-level event driven by capitalism.
☆ Billion-dollar-scale income inequality is a human rights violation.
☆ The social contract must guarantee no-cost healthcare.
A homeless fren gave me some interesting books to lighten his load.
🤔📚🛒
🤔📚🛒
January 11, 2026 at 4:32 AM
A homeless fren gave me some interesting books to lighten his load.
🤔📚🛒
🤔📚🛒
I ALMOST GOT RAN THE FUCK OVER!! By a little old man in a cowboy hat driving a truck that's eight times too big for him. His MAGA-makeover wife said, "Glad you're OK hehe!" We were passing each other, me on foot, when he veered into my lane for no reason then slammed on his brakes.
January 11, 2026 at 1:25 AM
I ALMOST GOT RAN THE FUCK OVER!! By a little old man in a cowboy hat driving a truck that's eight times too big for him. His MAGA-makeover wife said, "Glad you're OK hehe!" We were passing each other, me on foot, when he veered into my lane for no reason then slammed on his brakes.
No. It's cool, guys. I can do all the special fusion raids by myself while I'm stuck at the mall with no friends.
#PokemonGO
#PokemonGO
January 10, 2026 at 9:58 PM
No. It's cool, guys. I can do all the special fusion raids by myself while I'm stuck at the mall with no friends.
#PokemonGO
#PokemonGO
The Italian seamstress I share a hallway with at the mall told me the riveting story of her shop door falling off this week.
It was nice to only think about mundane life for 20 minutes. Remember when we weren't always in fight-or-flight mode?
It was nice to only think about mundane life for 20 minutes. Remember when we weren't always in fight-or-flight mode?
January 10, 2026 at 6:16 PM
The Italian seamstress I share a hallway with at the mall told me the riveting story of her shop door falling off this week.
It was nice to only think about mundane life for 20 minutes. Remember when we weren't always in fight-or-flight mode?
It was nice to only think about mundane life for 20 minutes. Remember when we weren't always in fight-or-flight mode?
I knew back when my son and nephew thought I was the coolest dude in the family, there'd come a day when they realize I'm just a fuck up.
We is arrived. 😒
We is arrived. 😒
January 10, 2026 at 4:31 AM
I knew back when my son and nephew thought I was the coolest dude in the family, there'd come a day when they realize I'm just a fuck up.
We is arrived. 😒
We is arrived. 😒
How I feel coming home after circling a bank's parking lot in a golf cart for 12 hours, and telling one homeless fren he can't pee on the building until 7 p.m.
January 10, 2026 at 3:59 AM
How I feel coming home after circling a bank's parking lot in a golf cart for 12 hours, and telling one homeless fren he can't pee on the building until 7 p.m.
I know she suffers from wishing-she-was-a-cop syndrome, but if lady armed guard asks me to drive her home tonight... OH! WE CAN SHARE A RIDE IN MY CAR BUT NOT A PHONE CHARGER FROM YOUR HALF OF THE RISER ROOM??
January 9, 2026 at 11:24 PM
I know she suffers from wishing-she-was-a-cop syndrome, but if lady armed guard asks me to drive her home tonight... OH! WE CAN SHARE A RIDE IN MY CAR BUT NOT A PHONE CHARGER FROM YOUR HALF OF THE RISER ROOM??
At least I got to see the Jekyll & Hyde Monster Truck arrive at Broadway Chevrolet. 🙄
January 9, 2026 at 11:13 PM
At least I got to see the Jekyll & Hyde Monster Truck arrive at Broadway Chevrolet. 🙄
January 9, 2026 at 9:43 PM
Zoo safety supervisor called me personally, said he wanted me to know I was on a very short list out of a big candidate pool he wanted to meet, but the layer above him told him to go with the one internal applicant they had. He said please try again in the future. Fuck. That's depressing as shit!!!!
January 9, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Zoo safety supervisor called me personally, said he wanted me to know I was on a very short list out of a big candidate pool he wanted to meet, but the layer above him told him to go with the one internal applicant they had. He said please try again in the future. Fuck. That's depressing as shit!!!!
Jesus Christina!! Old guy hopped out of his car to ask me where to find the Mexican restaurant, but his car kept rolling and I had to jump in and stop it. How is this my life now??
January 9, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Jesus Christina!! Old guy hopped out of his car to ask me where to find the Mexican restaurant, but his car kept rolling and I had to jump in and stop it. How is this my life now??
Be me security guard at bank last week. End of duty, the charger to my site phone is missing. Borrow an extra from lady armed guard's side of the riser room knowing full well she'd lose her shit, but would have a week to get over it. Today.
HER: Hey, so last week, did you touch one of my chargers?!
HER: Hey, so last week, did you touch one of my chargers?!
January 9, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Be me security guard at bank last week. End of duty, the charger to my site phone is missing. Borrow an extra from lady armed guard's side of the riser room knowing full well she'd lose her shit, but would have a week to get over it. Today.
HER: Hey, so last week, did you touch one of my chargers?!
HER: Hey, so last week, did you touch one of my chargers?!
Woke up sad because all the good people are suffering. The vet techs at my pet clinic whisper to me that they can't afford to live. The phlebotomists at my plasma center whisper to me that they can't afford to live. Why are we letting fascists and degenerate billionaires grind our bones into dust?
January 9, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Woke up sad because all the good people are suffering. The vet techs at my pet clinic whisper to me that they can't afford to live. The phlebotomists at my plasma center whisper to me that they can't afford to live. Why are we letting fascists and degenerate billionaires grind our bones into dust?
Be old Native American woman leaving pet clinic during rain.
Slips on wet ramp. Falls. Drops cat carrier.
Starts car. Engine failure.
Waiting on tow truck.
WOMAN: Young man, you look cold and you're getting wet. Can I give you my coat?
🥹
Slips on wet ramp. Falls. Drops cat carrier.
Starts car. Engine failure.
Waiting on tow truck.
WOMAN: Young man, you look cold and you're getting wet. Can I give you my coat?
🥹
January 9, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Be old Native American woman leaving pet clinic during rain.
Slips on wet ramp. Falls. Drops cat carrier.
Starts car. Engine failure.
Waiting on tow truck.
WOMAN: Young man, you look cold and you're getting wet. Can I give you my coat?
🥹
Slips on wet ramp. Falls. Drops cat carrier.
Starts car. Engine failure.
Waiting on tow truck.
WOMAN: Young man, you look cold and you're getting wet. Can I give you my coat?
🥹
Be me security guard at pet clinic. Track pants and sports bra lady shows up carrying kitten.
ME: Cats must be in carriers to enter lobby.
Annoyed, she shoves kitten in her bra. Meet titty kitty.
Well, now I've seen it all.
ME: Cats must be in carriers to enter lobby.
Annoyed, she shoves kitten in her bra. Meet titty kitty.
Well, now I've seen it all.
January 8, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Be me security guard at pet clinic. Track pants and sports bra lady shows up carrying kitten.
ME: Cats must be in carriers to enter lobby.
Annoyed, she shoves kitten in her bra. Meet titty kitty.
Well, now I've seen it all.
ME: Cats must be in carriers to enter lobby.
Annoyed, she shoves kitten in her bra. Meet titty kitty.
Well, now I've seen it all.
DOUBLE-WOKE RAINBOW!!
🌈🌈
🌈🌈
January 8, 2026 at 10:51 PM
DOUBLE-WOKE RAINBOW!!
🌈🌈
🌈🌈
Be me hungry security guard outside pet clinic when huge box of catering shows up.
AudacityOfHope.EXE
5 min go by...
15 min go by...
30 min go by...
ME: This some straight bull-
VET TECH: Jason! There's tons of sandwiches in here!
ME: Aww, you guys!
AudacityOfHope.EXE
5 min go by...
15 min go by...
30 min go by...
ME: This some straight bull-
VET TECH: Jason! There's tons of sandwiches in here!
ME: Aww, you guys!
January 8, 2026 at 8:52 PM
Be me hungry security guard outside pet clinic when huge box of catering shows up.
AudacityOfHope.EXE
5 min go by...
15 min go by...
30 min go by...
ME: This some straight bull-
VET TECH: Jason! There's tons of sandwiches in here!
ME: Aww, you guys!
AudacityOfHope.EXE
5 min go by...
15 min go by...
30 min go by...
ME: This some straight bull-
VET TECH: Jason! There's tons of sandwiches in here!
ME: Aww, you guys!
Bruh, it's a busy day at the pet clinic, but I'm sitting here in disbelief that an agent of the government straight up murdered an innocent woman by shooting through the side of her vehicle, and the president, vice president, and all their sycophants are praising his heroism. WTaF.
January 8, 2026 at 8:02 PM
Bruh, it's a busy day at the pet clinic, but I'm sitting here in disbelief that an agent of the government straight up murdered an innocent woman by shooting through the side of her vehicle, and the president, vice president, and all their sycophants are praising his heroism. WTaF.
I hope they shoot straighter than they park.
January 8, 2026 at 2:47 PM
I hope they shoot straighter than they park.
Are we all convening in front of our nearest federal buildings and staying there until the murderer is arrested and ICE is disbanded or just going to work regular Thursday-style?
I don't make enough money to pay the taxes that fund the government, but will stand with you when you're ready.
Hello?
I don't make enough money to pay the taxes that fund the government, but will stand with you when you're ready.
Hello?
January 8, 2026 at 12:06 PM
Are we all convening in front of our nearest federal buildings and staying there until the murderer is arrested and ICE is disbanded or just going to work regular Thursday-style?
I don't make enough money to pay the taxes that fund the government, but will stand with you when you're ready.
Hello?
I don't make enough money to pay the taxes that fund the government, but will stand with you when you're ready.
Hello?
Be my son telling me he's going to convince my mom his flu shot fatigue is heavy enough to miss school tomorrow.
SON: Time to start my performance.
SON: Time to start my performance.
January 8, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Be my son telling me he's going to convince my mom his flu shot fatigue is heavy enough to miss school tomorrow.
SON: Time to start my performance.
SON: Time to start my performance.
February is a short month, maybe we should try the general strike for 28 days. I stand to lose stuff, too, but holy fuck. Homegrown Nazis just shot a woman trying to flee them in the head. The government called her a domestic terrorist. We're way past the "why didn't anybody do anything" analogy.
January 7, 2026 at 11:52 PM
February is a short month, maybe we should try the general strike for 28 days. I stand to lose stuff, too, but holy fuck. Homegrown Nazis just shot a woman trying to flee them in the head. The government called her a domestic terrorist. We're way past the "why didn't anybody do anything" analogy.
I took my son to get the Flu and COVID shots, but government fuckery this year meant the COVID vaccine is no longer covered for minors. I didn't have an extra $200, so he only got the Flu vaccine.
When will this MAGA NIGHTMARE be over...?
When will this MAGA NIGHTMARE be over...?
January 7, 2026 at 10:47 PM
I took my son to get the Flu and COVID shots, but government fuckery this year meant the COVID vaccine is no longer covered for minors. I didn't have an extra $200, so he only got the Flu vaccine.
When will this MAGA NIGHTMARE be over...?
When will this MAGA NIGHTMARE be over...?
I JUST FINISHED THE PHONE SCREENING WITH TWO ZOO SUPERVISORS!!
I think the call went well. They said they'll reach out to people they want to meet next week.
I think the call went well. They said they'll reach out to people they want to meet next week.
January 7, 2026 at 7:52 PM
I JUST FINISHED THE PHONE SCREENING WITH TWO ZOO SUPERVISORS!!
I think the call went well. They said they'll reach out to people they want to meet next week.
I think the call went well. They said they'll reach out to people they want to meet next week.
When you're casually mowing down Rocket grunts to get your costumed Pikachu a Best Buddy medal, and then the bitch with two Snorlax and a Dragonite shows up. #PokemonGO
January 7, 2026 at 6:40 PM
When you're casually mowing down Rocket grunts to get your costumed Pikachu a Best Buddy medal, and then the bitch with two Snorlax and a Dragonite shows up. #PokemonGO