John Birmingham
@birmo.bsky.social
I write for food and shelter.
Perhaps if the Herzog protesters had turned up dressed as Nazis the cops would have left them alone
February 10, 2026 at 11:35 AM
Perhaps if the Herzog protesters had turned up dressed as Nazis the cops would have left them alone
Just once I’d like to go to a protest where the protesters had all the batons and pepper spray and the cops weren’t allowed to do anything but suck it up when half a dozen punters dog piled them
February 10, 2026 at 5:45 AM
Just once I’d like to go to a protest where the protesters had all the batons and pepper spray and the cops weren’t allowed to do anything but suck it up when half a dozen punters dog piled them
I’m very sad about Kudelka. It fucking sucks.
February 9, 2026 at 4:45 AM
I’m very sad about Kudelka. It fucking sucks.
Holy shit. I could finish writing this book tomorrow! Huzzah for Sunday chapters!
February 8, 2026 at 6:42 AM
Holy shit. I could finish writing this book tomorrow! Huzzah for Sunday chapters!
This is a great short story by my old mate, Murph. It’s nominally sci fi, but the broken robot stuff is really about our broken humanity. Give it a read if you’re a fan of the golden age. Or robots. Or you’d just like to escape the horrors of this timeline for a while
Murphy's Fiction Fridays! Grand Debut!
Fishin' Fer Tuesday, Part One
open.substack.com
February 7, 2026 at 6:19 AM
This is a great short story by my old mate, Murph. It’s nominally sci fi, but the broken robot stuff is really about our broken humanity. Give it a read if you’re a fan of the golden age. Or robots. Or you’d just like to escape the horrors of this timeline for a while
Reposted by John Birmingham
I'd forgotten just how fucking insanely good John writes, is there a bookshop at this Airport?
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
My pitch to Jason Statham.
Sorry, couldn't stop myself.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:57 AM
I'd forgotten just how fucking insanely good John writes, is there a bookshop at this Airport?
Reposted by John Birmingham
This would be spectacular.
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
My pitch to Jason Statham.
Sorry, couldn't stop myself.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:19 AM
This would be spectacular.
Reposted by John Birmingham
Lmao it’s good
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
My pitch to Jason Statham.
Sorry, couldn't stop myself.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 9:07 AM
Lmao it’s good
Reposted by John Birmingham
This is brilliant and MUST be done!
@film-authority.bsky.social, I see a solid 5/5 here.
@film-authority.bsky.social, I see a solid 5/5 here.
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
My pitch to Jason Statham.
Sorry, couldn't stop myself.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 5:54 AM
This is brilliant and MUST be done!
@film-authority.bsky.social, I see a solid 5/5 here.
@film-authority.bsky.social, I see a solid 5/5 here.
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
My pitch to Jason Statham.
Sorry, couldn't stop myself.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2026 at 5:46 AM
I decided to write a movie for Jason Statham in which ICE invades the small midwestern town of Tinyville and EX-DELTA FORCE SAS NAVY SEAL SHERIFF MASON MCKILLCHAIN must choose between the law and revenge, but not for long.
This is a fantastic story world. Amazing work. Also, tbh, some of these stories freaked me the fuck out
One week to go until THE RISE: Tales From The Gulp 3 is out. Get your pre-orders in (they really help small fry like me get noticed by the evil alcoriddims). I'm also doing special bundles of all three (print and ebook) through my website.
Please help me spread the word! 🖤
#WelcomeToTheGulp #Booksky
Please help me spread the word! 🖤
#WelcomeToTheGulp #Booksky
February 5, 2026 at 11:42 AM
This is a fantastic story world. Amazing work. Also, tbh, some of these stories freaked me the fuck out
Reposted by John Birmingham
This was pretty fun however - from a UQ relic of the era - www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
The Year that Made Me: John Birmingham, 1989 - ABC listen
John Birmingham is perhaps best known for his documentation of the "horror and madness" of Australian share-house living in his 1994 book He Died With A Felafel In His Hand.
His book Leviathan: An Un...
www.abc.net.au
February 4, 2026 at 12:31 PM
This was pretty fun however - from a UQ relic of the era - www.abc.net.au/listen/progr...
Reposted by John Birmingham
Cracking good read @birmo.bsky.social. Moving onto book 2 now. app.thestorygraph.com/books/ea2116... #booksky
February 4, 2026 at 1:57 PM
Cracking good read @birmo.bsky.social. Moving onto book 2 now. app.thestorygraph.com/books/ea2116... #booksky
Is there anything better than getting into bed? No, there is not. I will not be taking answers at this time.
February 4, 2026 at 10:13 AM
Is there anything better than getting into bed? No, there is not. I will not be taking answers at this time.
Jeebus, iOS 26 is garbage. Besides the shit design it is a battery vampire
February 3, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Jeebus, iOS 26 is garbage. Besides the shit design it is a battery vampire
We’ll know this is all over when Jason Statham plays a small town sheriff with a dark past, probably in some kind of special forces outfit, who defends his tiny Midwest town against an invading horde of ICE goons who want to arrest the town’s popular but undocumented taco truck guy
February 2, 2026 at 11:10 PM
We’ll know this is all over when Jason Statham plays a small town sheriff with a dark past, probably in some kind of special forces outfit, who defends his tiny Midwest town against an invading horde of ICE goons who want to arrest the town’s popular but undocumented taco truck guy
Status unlocked. New favourite.
January 30, 2026 at 7:48 PM
Status unlocked. New favourite.
Reposted by John Birmingham
JB is in fine form today…
I was always taught that if you cut the head off the monster, filled its mouth with salt, and buried the carcass at a crossroads at midnight, everything would be tickety-boo. Yet somehow Scott Morrison came back from the dead this week.
The evangelical creepshow returns.
I was always taught that if you cut the head off the monster, filled its mouth with salt, and buried the carcass at a crossroads at midnight, everything would be tickety-boo.
open.substack.com
January 30, 2026 at 4:04 AM
JB is in fine form today…
I was always taught that if you cut the head off the monster, filled its mouth with salt, and buried the carcass at a crossroads at midnight, everything would be tickety-boo. Yet somehow Scott Morrison came back from the dead this week.
The evangelical creepshow returns.
I was always taught that if you cut the head off the monster, filled its mouth with salt, and buried the carcass at a crossroads at midnight, everything would be tickety-boo.
open.substack.com
January 30, 2026 at 3:09 AM
I was always taught that if you cut the head off the monster, filled its mouth with salt, and buried the carcass at a crossroads at midnight, everything would be tickety-boo. Yet somehow Scott Morrison came back from the dead this week.
...What’s turned me off isn’t the increasingly shitty software or the endless price hikes. It’s Apple’s gross collaboration with the Trump regime.
I thought the worst so far was their public donation to build the Orange Czar’s new ballroom.
But it wasn't...
I thought the worst so far was their public donation to build the Orange Czar’s new ballroom.
But it wasn't...
I might be done paying Tim Apple.
I know they don't need my money, but I need my self-respect.
open.substack.com
January 28, 2026 at 3:11 AM
...What’s turned me off isn’t the increasingly shitty software or the endless price hikes. It’s Apple’s gross collaboration with the Trump regime.
I thought the worst so far was their public donation to build the Orange Czar’s new ballroom.
But it wasn't...
I thought the worst so far was their public donation to build the Orange Czar’s new ballroom.
But it wasn't...
Hitler sacrificed a lot of brownshirts on his way to the top.
January 27, 2026 at 12:01 PM
Hitler sacrificed a lot of brownshirts on his way to the top.
Thinking of cheering myself up a bit by watching Alex Garland’s Civil War. Especially the last bit.
January 26, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Thinking of cheering myself up a bit by watching Alex Garland’s Civil War. Especially the last bit.
The rot began when they told me I had to stop calling Scott Morrison a cunt.
Anne Twomey is “far-left” according to the Nine papers. Their descent is so grim — once upon a time defined by their commitment to pretty basic liberal values, now the dumbest journalists alive write incoherent nonsense.
January 23, 2026 at 11:13 AM
The rot began when they told me I had to stop calling Scott Morrison a cunt.
I got so invested in this piece that I forgot to write a ‘kicker’, the easily extractable paragraph you can use to sell the piece as a note. So, it’s about what happens when everything breaks down.
The Rupture.
When I was a much younger writer, long before I’d been paid for my first ‘professional’ piece—thirty bucks for a review of all the late-night greasy eating joints in Brisbane, of which there were thre...
open.substack.com
January 23, 2026 at 4:28 AM
I got so invested in this piece that I forgot to write a ‘kicker’, the easily extractable paragraph you can use to sell the piece as a note. So, it’s about what happens when everything breaks down.