Author | Lightnews

Pesto mortem 💀

@bobbypesto.bsky.social

370 followers 200 following 5.4K posts

Williams' F1 test driver. Former world 200m record holder. Exiled former President of Burkina Faso. Liar.

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 34m

Everybody stop hurting yourselves you selfish bastards, we live by the hospital and the Air Ambulance is keeping me up.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 3h

Don Draper saying I don't think about you at all.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 4h

Dog farts
Dog farts
Heinous dog farts
She ate two egg whites quickly and has windy underparts

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9h

They’re all buy-to-let landlords so as far as they’re concerned it’s something that happens all the time

Podcasting is Praxis @praxiscast.bsky.social · 13h

Buying a house, a thing so many of us do because it's so affordable. In fact, we all buy houses so often that having a digital ID could save up to 22 minutes per decade!

A tweet from Starmers Twitter account:

I recently spoke with someone buying a house with her partner.

She told me that she had to pay just to verify who she was.

With digital ID that could be done in seconds and wipe out the costs.

Digital ID will save you time and money.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 13h

He’s being paid to say what he’s told to say, so really he’s doing a fine job.

Also - ‘living’? 🧛‍♂️

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 14h

Labour taking on the role of racist authoritarian government and splitting the reform vote to deliver a Plaid/SNP/Green coalition. Absolute nonsense but I can dream.

Reposted by Pesto mortem 💀

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 17h

What is this meme? Oh yeah, the horror of 9/11 was totally the bit where the buildings got badly damaged.

Jeanne in Florida @fljeanne.bsky.social · 1d

#EpsteinBallroom

Aerial photo of demolished East Wing taken by Katie Harbath, 10/23/25
Text:
Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda tried to achieve this level of destruction on September 11, 2001. In October of 2025, Donald Trump accomplished it.
Remove the terrorist(s) from the White House, & release the unredacted Epstein files NOW.

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 1d

Didn’t they appear on the list of larger Tory donors at the last election? Not sure how woke that is.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 2d

Careful, you’ll have some royalists pop up in your mentions saying ‘leave them alone, they’re my emotional support billionaire paedophiles’

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 4d

When I was last doing this basically every AI-written one had the same sentence - ‘I look forward to discussing how my skills can deliver value to your business’

Reposted by Pesto mortem 💀

Niemöller 2.0 🏃‍♂️ @brentcrude.bsky.social · 5d

Jeremy Clarkson looks like the potatoes farm him

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Reposted by Pesto mortem 💀

Stefan Mohamed @stefmowords.bsky.social · 9d

I struggle to fully allow myself to be politically hopeful on account of being burned over and over again for my entire adult life, but god it does feel good to see Zack Polanski on all the horrible shows calmly and articulately telling the horrible presenters that bad things are actually bad

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

Probably for the best knowing Ipswich

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

Fuck me, was it a pint of champagne?

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

You’re fine to sleep on the train because our station is a terminus.

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

I do have quite a good save on Pokémon diamond but I think that’s my last experience of it

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

My wife and I both have Friday booked off but neither of us can remember why - this is either very good news or very bad news

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

We have a key safe but because I’m stupid and lock myself out sometimes.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 9d

Wuh oh

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 10d

Haha I got him to block me in just 2 posts, he’s so rattled

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 10d

‘Just give me the facts… no, not those ones’

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 10d

Being pro-facts but anti-scrutiny is genuinely hilarious, good one

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Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 11d

A loyal and faithful dog will bring you your slippers on demand. This prick actively hides my slippers.

It’s Bernie - a black spaniel cross, she’s greying at the muzzle because of the cruel nature of dog/human relative lifespans.

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 11d

Ok I his is obviously dogshit provision for local families - but as soon as I saw it I immediately knew me and my brothers would have turned this into a game where you hoss footballs from the benches at one of us dodging while operating the chicken and now I want to sack off work and do that instead

Sudden Deth ☠️ @youreacuntmate.bsky.social · 12d

Found the worst playground in England

Pesto mortem 💀 @bobbypesto.bsky.social · 14d

The dog just sat next to me in the couch and did a fart that smells like McDonalds chips, another reason to stick to the boycott.

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