Caffeinated Otter
@caffeinatedotter.bsky.social
Author of short and episodic fiction: fantasy, SF, smut — http://brain-implant.tech/writing/ he/him
Pinned
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
The more I thought about that one scene, the more I thought that either someone writing it was *excruciatingly* aware of the pitch-perfect implications, or utterly and revealingly not.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Right down to the head-hanging little-boy "oops! I'm a gormless nerd too socially inept to know I shouldn't have bragged about that, the little woman's had to nag me back into line!" performed-for-an-audience manipulative fucking bullshit of the moment
February 1, 2026 at 1:58 PM
The more I thought about that one scene, the more I thought that either someone writing it was *excruciatingly* aware of the pitch-perfect implications, or utterly and revealingly not.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
The only time we will ever see any national politician exit under suspicion of Epstein-related kiddiefucking is via the equivalent of Boris Johnson telling the British press that then-Prime Minister David Cameron fucked a pig's head in a rich-boy code of silence bonding ritual at Eton:
February 1, 2026 at 11:36 AM
The only time we will ever see any national politician exit under suspicion of Epstein-related kiddiefucking is via the equivalent of Boris Johnson telling the British press that then-Prime Minister David Cameron fucked a pig's head in a rich-boy code of silence bonding ritual at Eton:
It's never been more provably observable that the reason every person on the planet can't have guaranteed food and shelter and the best healthcare science has invented is that the governments of the West regard their nation-states not as entities to govern,
February 1, 2026 at 11:28 AM
It's never been more provably observable that the reason every person on the planet can't have guaranteed food and shelter and the best healthcare science has invented is that the governments of the West regard their nation-states not as entities to govern,
Therapy's weird, so far. I keep walking around the metaphorical deck, obligingly pointing out all the fouled halyards in my psyche, and then I'll turn around and lean on one of the shrouds and discover that they're not shackled to the deck. Never have been. Nothing's been holding the fucking mast up
February 1, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Therapy's weird, so far. I keep walking around the metaphorical deck, obligingly pointing out all the fouled halyards in my psyche, and then I'll turn around and lean on one of the shrouds and discover that they're not shackled to the deck. Never have been. Nothing's been holding the fucking mast up
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
January 31, 2026 at 11:29 PM
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
[Clockwork doll plants one fist on its cocked hip, speaks earnestly] This one can get it up as many as twelve times per hour. And by "it", this one means. Let's just say. This one's
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
January 31, 2026 at 9:36 PM
[Clockwork doll plants one fist on its cocked hip, speaks earnestly] This one can get it up as many as twelve times per hour. And by "it", this one means. Let's just say. This one's
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
The worst thing about that moment — played off as funny, awkwardly almost-cute, as it is — is that if you think about it you can imagine *exactly* how it unfolds. The realism of it.
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
which ends with a woman horrifyingly reduced to a still-animate face embedded in a paving slab,
and her grinning boyfriend declares, straight to the camera, in very nearly so many words, that he totally fucks that
and her grinning boyfriend declares, straight to the camera, in very nearly so many words, that he totally fucks that
January 31, 2026 at 8:48 PM
The worst thing about that moment — played off as funny, awkwardly almost-cute, as it is — is that if you think about it you can imagine *exactly* how it unfolds. The realism of it.
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
oh no shitposting about skibidi toilet porn has reminded me of that one fucking episode of Doctor Who, a kid's show, the episode which *specifically* included a monster-of-the-week from a kid's TV send-in-your-monster-idea contest,
January 31, 2026 at 8:12 PM
oh no shitposting about skibidi toilet porn has reminded me of that one fucking episode of Doctor Who, a kid's show, the episode which *specifically* included a monster-of-the-week from a kid's TV send-in-your-monster-idea contest,
Because individual Women are small & weak to predators, it is the player's responsibility to direct Women appropriately to retrieve items and avoid hazards & obstacles. Red Women are immune to fire, Blue Women can move through water, and Yellow Women can be thrown higher than other Women,
they've invented a pikmin you can fuck — called 'Women'
January 31, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Because individual Women are small & weak to predators, it is the player's responsibility to direct Women appropriately to retrieve items and avoid hazards & obstacles. Red Women are immune to fire, Blue Women can move through water, and Yellow Women can be thrown higher than other Women,
Although it was undoubtedly also a shitpost, the thing I just read about "you don't see Simpsons porn any more" has the feel of something true to it, so I looked it up and, like, that's an oozing, undead, Tartarus-inhabiting miserable zombie of an IP franchise that's been running since *1989*
January 31, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Although it was undoubtedly also a shitpost, the thing I just read about "you don't see Simpsons porn any more" has the feel of something true to it, so I looked it up and, like, that's an oozing, undead, Tartarus-inhabiting miserable zombie of an IP franchise that's been running since *1989*
I know writers who use subtext, and it's all "asksdjdks"
January 31, 2026 at 5:22 PM
I know writers who use subtext, and it's all "asksdjdks"
"People on Twitter are apparently—"
I also don't care what they're chattering about over the pool table at your local Nazi bar.
I also don't care what they're chattering about over the pool table at your local Nazi bar.
January 31, 2026 at 4:00 PM
"People on Twitter are apparently—"
I also don't care what they're chattering about over the pool table at your local Nazi bar.
I also don't care what they're chattering about over the pool table at your local Nazi bar.
sarcastically referring to myself as "brave and cool" just made me laugh hard enough to give myself a minor asthma attack
January 31, 2026 at 3:21 PM
sarcastically referring to myself as "brave and cool" just made me laugh hard enough to give myself a minor asthma attack
The first time I saw someone misuse "cannon" in place of "canon" was a music teacher sending one of my siblings home with some sheet music they'd titled by hand as "Pachelbel's Cannon"
Unfortunately, that's the only time it's even been funny
Unfortunately, that's the only time it's even been funny
January 31, 2026 at 3:15 PM
The first time I saw someone misuse "cannon" in place of "canon" was a music teacher sending one of my siblings home with some sheet music they'd titled by hand as "Pachelbel's Cannon"
Unfortunately, that's the only time it's even been funny
Unfortunately, that's the only time it's even been funny
"Today we secured $5M+ in restitution for 49,000 delivery workers"
You got screwed by the relentless employment law end run the "gig economy" constitutes; and still are, because they successfully destroyed precursor industries by running at a continual loss on bottomless VC cash
have $100! :)
You got screwed by the relentless employment law end run the "gig economy" constitutes; and still are, because they successfully destroyed precursor industries by running at a continual loss on bottomless VC cash
have $100! :)
January 31, 2026 at 2:50 PM
"Today we secured $5M+ in restitution for 49,000 delivery workers"
You got screwed by the relentless employment law end run the "gig economy" constitutes; and still are, because they successfully destroyed precursor industries by running at a continual loss on bottomless VC cash
have $100! :)
You got screwed by the relentless employment law end run the "gig economy" constitutes; and still are, because they successfully destroyed precursor industries by running at a continual loss on bottomless VC cash
have $100! :)
I know it's at least somewhat a bit, but fuck, people are annoying about "pronouns"
"haha my new favourite pronoun is 'workers of the world', it's a second person plural like 'chat', as in 'chat what do we think of this"
s'not even. it's nouns
"haha my new favourite pronoun is 'workers of the world', it's a second person plural like 'chat', as in 'chat what do we think of this"
s'not even. it's nouns
January 31, 2026 at 2:33 PM
I know it's at least somewhat a bit, but fuck, people are annoying about "pronouns"
"haha my new favourite pronoun is 'workers of the world', it's a second person plural like 'chat', as in 'chat what do we think of this"
s'not even. it's nouns
"haha my new favourite pronoun is 'workers of the world', it's a second person plural like 'chat', as in 'chat what do we think of this"
s'not even. it's nouns
Popular discourse about the trolley problem is like there was a specific formulation of "Train A leaves Station A heading due north at 50mph at noon. Train B leaves Station B heading due south at 100mph at 11:30. Where and when do they pass each other" that got meme-popular
January 31, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Popular discourse about the trolley problem is like there was a specific formulation of "Train A leaves Station A heading due north at 50mph at noon. Train B leaves Station B heading due south at 100mph at 11:30. Where and when do they pass each other" that got meme-popular
I'm as big a fan as anyone of deploying the trolley problem for its only true purpose: annoying the shit out of professional academic philosophers, but seriously, the way people talk about it, I don't think y'all have a good collective grasp on a very, very important point about it:
January 31, 2026 at 1:21 PM
I'm as big a fan as anyone of deploying the trolley problem for its only true purpose: annoying the shit out of professional academic philosophers, but seriously, the way people talk about it, I don't think y'all have a good collective grasp on a very, very important point about it:
American, tearfully: you know, our pernicious belief in American exceptionalism is one of the things that let this country develop the biggest, specialest fascism in the world,
January 31, 2026 at 12:21 PM
American, tearfully: you know, our pernicious belief in American exceptionalism is one of the things that let this country develop the biggest, specialest fascism in the world,
Oh, yet another reason to think Adafruit is a rancid shitshow? Well I never.
January 30, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Oh, yet another reason to think Adafruit is a rancid shitshow? Well I never.
There's a special class of annoying occupied by the kind of guy who sniggers condescendingly about the redundancy of "ATM machine" or "HUD display" (if and only if you care about and always mentally unpack the acronyms!) & then throws in "GPS satellite map"
What do you imagine GPS stands for, chap?
What do you imagine GPS stands for, chap?
January 29, 2026 at 9:50 PM
There's a special class of annoying occupied by the kind of guy who sniggers condescendingly about the redundancy of "ATM machine" or "HUD display" (if and only if you care about and always mentally unpack the acronyms!) & then throws in "GPS satellite map"
What do you imagine GPS stands for, chap?
What do you imagine GPS stands for, chap?
Aw, Microsoft wants to "rebuild trust" in Windows! Like the comic, with fhe dog and the ball!
"No reverse any of our actions which actively destroyed it! Only give back trust"
"No reverse any of our actions which actively destroyed it! Only give back trust"
January 29, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Aw, Microsoft wants to "rebuild trust" in Windows! Like the comic, with fhe dog and the ball!
"No reverse any of our actions which actively destroyed it! Only give back trust"
"No reverse any of our actions which actively destroyed it! Only give back trust"
"A bug in the previous version of [some videogame] caused backlash when it was patched out"
wow that phrasing sure is a choice for expressing "the game didn't restrict relationships until the devs noticed what they'd shipped and went SHIT NO, NO GAYS ALLOWED"
wow that phrasing sure is a choice for expressing "the game didn't restrict relationships until the devs noticed what they'd shipped and went SHIT NO, NO GAYS ALLOWED"
January 29, 2026 at 3:37 PM
"A bug in the previous version of [some videogame] caused backlash when it was patched out"
wow that phrasing sure is a choice for expressing "the game didn't restrict relationships until the devs noticed what they'd shipped and went SHIT NO, NO GAYS ALLOWED"
wow that phrasing sure is a choice for expressing "the game didn't restrict relationships until the devs noticed what they'd shipped and went SHIT NO, NO GAYS ALLOWED"