Caffeinated Otter
@caffeinatedotter.bsky.social
Author of short and episodic fiction: fantasy, SF, smut — http://brain-implant.tech/writing/ he/him
Pinned
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I must be feeling benevolent today, I saw someone ask Kallie for mechsplo writing advice and instead of fulminating, my instant impulse was to give them a hug and tell them something that would inevitably be received as patronising
February 2, 2026 at 11:50 AM
I must be feeling benevolent today, I saw someone ask Kallie for mechsplo writing advice and instead of fulminating, my instant impulse was to give them a hug and tell them something that would inevitably be received as patronising
Reminded of the old Cohost Making-Up-Adventurers account.
Why didn't I ever do a prompt fill for "Wizard who hasn't had to ever take an enemy's life after learning the dread spell Power Word: Shit"?
Why didn't I ever do a prompt fill for "Wizard who hasn't had to ever take an enemy's life after learning the dread spell Power Word: Shit"?
February 2, 2026 at 1:11 AM
Reminded of the old Cohost Making-Up-Adventurers account.
Why didn't I ever do a prompt fill for "Wizard who hasn't had to ever take an enemy's life after learning the dread spell Power Word: Shit"?
Why didn't I ever do a prompt fill for "Wizard who hasn't had to ever take an enemy's life after learning the dread spell Power Word: Shit"?
"GNU Hurd Is 'Almost There'"
I know this represents, like, a huge amount of work and a genuine achievement, but I'm only human and lol. lmao
I know this represents, like, a huge amount of work and a genuine achievement, but I'm only human and lol. lmao
February 1, 2026 at 11:03 PM
"GNU Hurd Is 'Almost There'"
I know this represents, like, a huge amount of work and a genuine achievement, but I'm only human and lol. lmao
I know this represents, like, a huge amount of work and a genuine achievement, but I'm only human and lol. lmao
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
I usually — as longtime followers will recall from my lots of bitching about it — have a nails-on-blackboard kinda reaction to word substitution errors.
However, thanks to trans women, I can never be sure that "deprived sex pet" *was* intended to be "depraved". Thanks, trans women!
However, thanks to trans women, I can never be sure that "deprived sex pet" *was* intended to be "depraved". Thanks, trans women!
February 1, 2026 at 9:54 PM
I usually — as longtime followers will recall from my lots of bitching about it — have a nails-on-blackboard kinda reaction to word substitution errors.
However, thanks to trans women, I can never be sure that "deprived sex pet" *was* intended to be "depraved". Thanks, trans women!
However, thanks to trans women, I can never be sure that "deprived sex pet" *was* intended to be "depraved". Thanks, trans women!
It's much harder to gracefully work joke slogan t-shirts into prose than, say, as bonus sight gags in comics
Which is why, when I keep doing it, it's not remotely graceful :)
Which is why, when I keep doing it, it's not remotely graceful :)
February 1, 2026 at 7:19 PM
It's much harder to gracefully work joke slogan t-shirts into prose than, say, as bonus sight gags in comics
Which is why, when I keep doing it, it's not remotely graceful :)
Which is why, when I keep doing it, it's not remotely graceful :)
This is apparently the work of a "one-woman writing, research, marketing, and project management agency" which seems to specialise in getting aspiring writers to sign up for writing prompt months and, especially scummy, writing classes, then pocketing the cash from ebook+POD anthologies of the work
The "while you're signing up, why don't you voluntarily donate to cover our publishing costs for the for-profit anthology of the work we're not paying you for? :)" sure is a nice touch
February 1, 2026 at 6:25 PM
This is apparently the work of a "one-woman writing, research, marketing, and project management agency" which seems to specialise in getting aspiring writers to sign up for writing prompt months and, especially scummy, writing classes, then pocketing the cash from ebook+POD anthologies of the work
It's not that I'm surprised to find an outfit "celebrating" writing by going "haha we've put in the fabulous effort of coming up with single-word microfic prompts for EVERY SINGLE DAY of February so sign up on our website for it & we'll put all your work in an anthology which we'll charge money for—
February 1, 2026 at 6:01 PM
It's not that I'm surprised to find an outfit "celebrating" writing by going "haha we've put in the fabulous effort of coming up with single-word microfic prompts for EVERY SINGLE DAY of February so sign up on our website for it & we'll put all your work in an anthology which we'll charge money for—
Ripley in the Aliens power loader, but a roadie
I want a Macross anime where it's literally just about the crew scrambling to get everything set up in time for the "surprise" concert the idol/band decided to put on. Just looking at the speaker stacks in the alley behind the roof they need to be on and "elevator's not big enough"
"FUCK STAIRS"
"FUCK STAIRS"
February 1, 2026 at 4:53 PM
Ripley in the Aliens power loader, but a roadie
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
I think people are missing something when they say pedophiles are rich and racist and transphobic.
It's the other way around: the rich are pedophiles/etc.
Money is power and the powerful dehumanize the marginalized.
There is no way out without dismantling power; power never surrenders peacefully.
It's the other way around: the rich are pedophiles/etc.
Money is power and the powerful dehumanize the marginalized.
There is no way out without dismantling power; power never surrenders peacefully.
February 1, 2026 at 3:58 PM
I think people are missing something when they say pedophiles are rich and racist and transphobic.
It's the other way around: the rich are pedophiles/etc.
Money is power and the powerful dehumanize the marginalized.
There is no way out without dismantling power; power never surrenders peacefully.
It's the other way around: the rich are pedophiles/etc.
Money is power and the powerful dehumanize the marginalized.
There is no way out without dismantling power; power never surrenders peacefully.
I always find it extremely telling when people complain about more people liking their posts than sharing them on here.
"Likes don't do anything!"
They specifically and directly communicate something *to you,* the post's originator. Sorry that doesn't Virally Market Your Personal Brand, I guess
"Likes don't do anything!"
They specifically and directly communicate something *to you,* the post's originator. Sorry that doesn't Virally Market Your Personal Brand, I guess
February 1, 2026 at 3:54 PM
I always find it extremely telling when people complain about more people liking their posts than sharing them on here.
"Likes don't do anything!"
They specifically and directly communicate something *to you,* the post's originator. Sorry that doesn't Virally Market Your Personal Brand, I guess
"Likes don't do anything!"
They specifically and directly communicate something *to you,* the post's originator. Sorry that doesn't Virally Market Your Personal Brand, I guess
Designing for modern Magic must be simultaneously piss-easy and really fucking hard, because the headlining block mechanic is always, like, Vaguely Shitty-Feeling Alternate Casting Cost: card does same as usual but worse
February 1, 2026 at 3:42 PM
Designing for modern Magic must be simultaneously piss-easy and really fucking hard, because the headlining block mechanic is always, like, Vaguely Shitty-Feeling Alternate Casting Cost: card does same as usual but worse
Reposted by Caffeinated Otter
A nonviolent solution isn't and has never been possible
February 1, 2026 at 2:34 PM
A nonviolent solution isn't and has never been possible
The more I thought about that one scene, the more I thought that either someone writing it was *excruciatingly* aware of the pitch-perfect implications, or utterly and revealingly not.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Right down to the head-hanging little-boy "oops! I'm a gormless nerd too socially inept to know I shouldn't have bragged about that, the little woman's had to nag me back into line!" performed-for-an-audience manipulative fucking bullshit of the moment
February 1, 2026 at 1:58 PM
The more I thought about that one scene, the more I thought that either someone writing it was *excruciatingly* aware of the pitch-perfect implications, or utterly and revealingly not.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
Checking Wikipedia, I discovered the ep was written by sometime showrunner Russell T Davies, so.
Ah.
The only time we will ever see any national politician exit under suspicion of Epstein-related kiddiefucking is via the equivalent of Boris Johnson telling the British press that then-Prime Minister David Cameron fucked a pig's head in a rich-boy code of silence bonding ritual at Eton:
February 1, 2026 at 11:36 AM
The only time we will ever see any national politician exit under suspicion of Epstein-related kiddiefucking is via the equivalent of Boris Johnson telling the British press that then-Prime Minister David Cameron fucked a pig's head in a rich-boy code of silence bonding ritual at Eton:
It's never been more provably observable that the reason every person on the planet can't have guaranteed food and shelter and the best healthcare science has invented is that the governments of the West regard their nation-states not as entities to govern,
February 1, 2026 at 11:28 AM
It's never been more provably observable that the reason every person on the planet can't have guaranteed food and shelter and the best healthcare science has invented is that the governments of the West regard their nation-states not as entities to govern,
Therapy's weird, so far. I keep walking around the metaphorical deck, obligingly pointing out all the fouled halyards in my psyche, and then I'll turn around and lean on one of the shrouds and discover that they're not shackled to the deck. Never have been. Nothing's been holding the fucking mast up
February 1, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Therapy's weird, so far. I keep walking around the metaphorical deck, obligingly pointing out all the fouled halyards in my psyche, and then I'll turn around and lean on one of the shrouds and discover that they're not shackled to the deck. Never have been. Nothing's been holding the fucking mast up
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
January 31, 2026 at 11:29 PM
"*Which* post, Otter"
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
I have a whole-ass account of 'em, think of it like a CYOA. Pass Your Own Inevitable Judgement
[Clockwork doll plants one fist on its cocked hip, speaks earnestly] This one can get it up as many as twelve times per hour. And by "it", this one means. Let's just say. This one's
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
January 31, 2026 at 9:36 PM
[Clockwork doll plants one fist on its cocked hip, speaks earnestly] This one can get it up as many as twelve times per hour. And by "it", this one means. Let's just say. This one's
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
[Tiny double doors at the doll's crotch pop open]
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!—
The worst thing about that moment — played off as funny, awkwardly almost-cute, as it is — is that if you think about it you can imagine *exactly* how it unfolds. The realism of it.
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
which ends with a woman horrifyingly reduced to a still-animate face embedded in a paving slab,
and her grinning boyfriend declares, straight to the camera, in very nearly so many words, that he totally fucks that
and her grinning boyfriend declares, straight to the camera, in very nearly so many words, that he totally fucks that
January 31, 2026 at 8:48 PM
The worst thing about that moment — played off as funny, awkwardly almost-cute, as it is — is that if you think about it you can imagine *exactly* how it unfolds. The realism of it.
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
She's a *paving slab* now. They can't admit she even exists to most of the world. He's the only person she has...ever
oh no shitposting about skibidi toilet porn has reminded me of that one fucking episode of Doctor Who, a kid's show, the episode which *specifically* included a monster-of-the-week from a kid's TV send-in-your-monster-idea contest,
January 31, 2026 at 8:12 PM
oh no shitposting about skibidi toilet porn has reminded me of that one fucking episode of Doctor Who, a kid's show, the episode which *specifically* included a monster-of-the-week from a kid's TV send-in-your-monster-idea contest,
Because individual Women are small & weak to predators, it is the player's responsibility to direct Women appropriately to retrieve items and avoid hazards & obstacles. Red Women are immune to fire, Blue Women can move through water, and Yellow Women can be thrown higher than other Women,
they've invented a pikmin you can fuck — called 'Women'
January 31, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Because individual Women are small & weak to predators, it is the player's responsibility to direct Women appropriately to retrieve items and avoid hazards & obstacles. Red Women are immune to fire, Blue Women can move through water, and Yellow Women can be thrown higher than other Women,
Although it was undoubtedly also a shitpost, the thing I just read about "you don't see Simpsons porn any more" has the feel of something true to it, so I looked it up and, like, that's an oozing, undead, Tartarus-inhabiting miserable zombie of an IP franchise that's been running since *1989*
January 31, 2026 at 6:50 PM
Although it was undoubtedly also a shitpost, the thing I just read about "you don't see Simpsons porn any more" has the feel of something true to it, so I looked it up and, like, that's an oozing, undead, Tartarus-inhabiting miserable zombie of an IP franchise that's been running since *1989*