Chris Fletcher
@classicfletcher.bsky.social
Writer, teacher, tea drinker.
I work with fourth graders during the day and teenagers in the evening.
I write horror movies, twisted stories, and most things in between.
US/UK citizen, proud liberal, husband, father, and dog person.
I work with fourth graders during the day and teenagers in the evening.
I write horror movies, twisted stories, and most things in between.
US/UK citizen, proud liberal, husband, father, and dog person.
Why is long division so needlessly complicated?
I swear I wasn’t taught this shit when I was in school.
I swear I wasn’t taught this shit when I was in school.
February 2, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Why is long division so needlessly complicated?
I swear I wasn’t taught this shit when I was in school.
I swear I wasn’t taught this shit when I was in school.
You can’t arrest journalists for doing their job.
January 30, 2026 at 4:20 PM
You can’t arrest journalists for doing their job.
Got the 8yo into Batman The Animated Series.
Proud dad moment.
Proud dad moment.
January 23, 2026 at 12:29 PM
Got the 8yo into Batman The Animated Series.
Proud dad moment.
Proud dad moment.
Fourth grader has a streak of dirt across his forehead. No idea what it is.
I discreetly pull him aside and give him a mirror.
Me: “You wanna run to the bathroom and clean it off?”
Him: “No, I’m okay. I’m Simba.”
I discreetly pull him aside and give him a mirror.
Me: “You wanna run to the bathroom and clean it off?”
Him: “No, I’m okay. I’m Simba.”
January 20, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Fourth grader has a streak of dirt across his forehead. No idea what it is.
I discreetly pull him aside and give him a mirror.
Me: “You wanna run to the bathroom and clean it off?”
Him: “No, I’m okay. I’m Simba.”
I discreetly pull him aside and give him a mirror.
Me: “You wanna run to the bathroom and clean it off?”
Him: “No, I’m okay. I’m Simba.”
You can’t *give away* a Nobel Peace Prize.
Especially not to someone who CURRENTLY is siccing his secret police on his own people while threatening war with an allied country.
What the absolute fuck is this timeline.
Especially not to someone who CURRENTLY is siccing his secret police on his own people while threatening war with an allied country.
What the absolute fuck is this timeline.
January 16, 2026 at 1:01 PM
You can’t *give away* a Nobel Peace Prize.
Especially not to someone who CURRENTLY is siccing his secret police on his own people while threatening war with an allied country.
What the absolute fuck is this timeline.
Especially not to someone who CURRENTLY is siccing his secret police on his own people while threatening war with an allied country.
What the absolute fuck is this timeline.
Random thought that popped into my head while I was folding laundry:
That Thing You Do! is now a thirty year old movie.
Ouch.
That Thing You Do! is now a thirty year old movie.
Ouch.
January 15, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Random thought that popped into my head while I was folding laundry:
That Thing You Do! is now a thirty year old movie.
Ouch.
That Thing You Do! is now a thirty year old movie.
Ouch.
Working with small kids, I see daily how AI is dumbing them down. They don’t read - and they don’t care to learn.
I’m 46. I’m low key terrified that I’ll be going into surgery for something or other at some point and just as the drugs kick in, I’ll hear the surgeon say
“Hey ChatGPT, how do I…?”
I’m 46. I’m low key terrified that I’ll be going into surgery for something or other at some point and just as the drugs kick in, I’ll hear the surgeon say
“Hey ChatGPT, how do I…?”
January 14, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Working with small kids, I see daily how AI is dumbing them down. They don’t read - and they don’t care to learn.
I’m 46. I’m low key terrified that I’ll be going into surgery for something or other at some point and just as the drugs kick in, I’ll hear the surgeon say
“Hey ChatGPT, how do I…?”
I’m 46. I’m low key terrified that I’ll be going into surgery for something or other at some point and just as the drugs kick in, I’ll hear the surgeon say
“Hey ChatGPT, how do I…?”
Cannot believe Bowie has been gone for a decade.
Madness.
Madness.
January 12, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Cannot believe Bowie has been gone for a decade.
Madness.
Madness.
“Do we become sky?” - Richard Fletcher, The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker.
“The stars are not for man.” - Clarke, Childhood’s End
January 9, 2026 at 12:34 PM
“Do we become sky?” - Richard Fletcher, The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker.
Oh! It’s January 6th.
Happy anniversary, America. Let’s raise a glass to one of the dumbest and most dangerous days in American history, that somehow left the perpetrator of said day not only consequence free, but back in fucking office.
What a shit show.
Happy anniversary, America. Let’s raise a glass to one of the dumbest and most dangerous days in American history, that somehow left the perpetrator of said day not only consequence free, but back in fucking office.
What a shit show.
With His Post-Jan. 6 Comeback, Trump May Have Normalized Coup Attempts
He was the first president to try to remain in power despite losing reelection, but democracy advocates worry he may not be the last.
www.huffpost.com
January 6, 2026 at 1:37 PM
Oh! It’s January 6th.
Happy anniversary, America. Let’s raise a glass to one of the dumbest and most dangerous days in American history, that somehow left the perpetrator of said day not only consequence free, but back in fucking office.
What a shit show.
Happy anniversary, America. Let’s raise a glass to one of the dumbest and most dangerous days in American history, that somehow left the perpetrator of said day not only consequence free, but back in fucking office.
What a shit show.
The first Monday of 2026 was definitely the Monday-est Monday in a long time.
The kids at school were a nightmare, everyone was out of sorts. Long, trying bloody day.
So. Here’s to Tuesday.
The kids at school were a nightmare, everyone was out of sorts. Long, trying bloody day.
So. Here’s to Tuesday.
January 6, 2026 at 1:15 PM
The first Monday of 2026 was definitely the Monday-est Monday in a long time.
The kids at school were a nightmare, everyone was out of sorts. Long, trying bloody day.
So. Here’s to Tuesday.
The kids at school were a nightmare, everyone was out of sorts. Long, trying bloody day.
So. Here’s to Tuesday.
Finished Stranger Things.
Loved Stranger Things.
Loved Stranger Things.
January 6, 2026 at 2:49 AM
Finished Stranger Things.
Loved Stranger Things.
Loved Stranger Things.
Working the 8yo through the Marvel movies in order, and tonight was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.
And I’m left wondering how the fuck they had Kurt Russel and Sylvester Stallone in the same move, and they never shared a scene.
Not a single Tango and Cash reference. Not even a nod.
And I’m left wondering how the fuck they had Kurt Russel and Sylvester Stallone in the same move, and they never shared a scene.
Not a single Tango and Cash reference. Not even a nod.
January 4, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Working the 8yo through the Marvel movies in order, and tonight was Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.
And I’m left wondering how the fuck they had Kurt Russel and Sylvester Stallone in the same move, and they never shared a scene.
Not a single Tango and Cash reference. Not even a nod.
And I’m left wondering how the fuck they had Kurt Russel and Sylvester Stallone in the same move, and they never shared a scene.
Not a single Tango and Cash reference. Not even a nod.
Who the fuck spends ninety minutes in Whole Foods?
December 31, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Who the fuck spends ninety minutes in Whole Foods?
Dear every website and app ever (apparently):
No, I do not want help from your AI assistant. I am never fucking ever gonna want help from your AI assistant.
Kindly take that shit behind the shed and shoot it.
Thanks much.
No, I do not want help from your AI assistant. I am never fucking ever gonna want help from your AI assistant.
Kindly take that shit behind the shed and shoot it.
Thanks much.
December 29, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Dear every website and app ever (apparently):
No, I do not want help from your AI assistant. I am never fucking ever gonna want help from your AI assistant.
Kindly take that shit behind the shed and shoot it.
Thanks much.
No, I do not want help from your AI assistant. I am never fucking ever gonna want help from your AI assistant.
Kindly take that shit behind the shed and shoot it.
Thanks much.
Was gifted some hot chocolate at school.
Feeling vindicated.
Feeling vindicated.
December 23, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Was gifted some hot chocolate at school.
Feeling vindicated.
Feeling vindicated.
Ran out of adult toothpaste, so I had to use the kid’s.
Like, I *understood* it was bubblegum flavor, but in the act of brushing, I kinda had a hard time *accepting* it.
Was a smidge weird.
Like, I *understood* it was bubblegum flavor, but in the act of brushing, I kinda had a hard time *accepting* it.
Was a smidge weird.
December 23, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Ran out of adult toothpaste, so I had to use the kid’s.
Like, I *understood* it was bubblegum flavor, but in the act of brushing, I kinda had a hard time *accepting* it.
Was a smidge weird.
Like, I *understood* it was bubblegum flavor, but in the act of brushing, I kinda had a hard time *accepting* it.
Was a smidge weird.
One of the teachers put snacks and stuff for everyone in the teachers’ room today.
In her email letting people know, she signed off with “Happy everything!”
Thought that was kinda cute.
In her email letting people know, she signed off with “Happy everything!”
Thought that was kinda cute.
December 22, 2025 at 1:36 PM
One of the teachers put snacks and stuff for everyone in the teachers’ room today.
In her email letting people know, she signed off with “Happy everything!”
Thought that was kinda cute.
In her email letting people know, she signed off with “Happy everything!”
Thought that was kinda cute.
What in the ever loving fuck.
Rob And Michele Reiner Found Dead In Their Los Angeles Home: Reports
The LAPD’s Robbery Homicide division is now investigating their deaths.
www.huffpost.com
December 15, 2025 at 1:01 PM
What in the ever loving fuck.
Today I have spent two hours shoveling snow and four hours working. I’ve also managed to do five (five!) loads of laundry.
I really miss way back when Sundays were simply for going to the pub.
I really miss way back when Sundays were simply for going to the pub.
December 14, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Today I have spent two hours shoveling snow and four hours working. I’ve also managed to do five (five!) loads of laundry.
I really miss way back when Sundays were simply for going to the pub.
I really miss way back when Sundays were simply for going to the pub.
The hill that everyone is gonna die on today at school is whether hot chocolate should be made with milk or water.
I had no idea this was such a point of contention.
It’s milk. Should be milk.
And yes, I will die on that hill. The water folks just don’t know how to live.
I had no idea this was such a point of contention.
It’s milk. Should be milk.
And yes, I will die on that hill. The water folks just don’t know how to live.
December 11, 2025 at 4:43 PM
The hill that everyone is gonna die on today at school is whether hot chocolate should be made with milk or water.
I had no idea this was such a point of contention.
It’s milk. Should be milk.
And yes, I will die on that hill. The water folks just don’t know how to live.
I had no idea this was such a point of contention.
It’s milk. Should be milk.
And yes, I will die on that hill. The water folks just don’t know how to live.
Today’s elf is holding onto some oversized chopping boards we have hanging in the dining room.
8yo: Why is he holding onto those things?
Me: So… so he doesn’t fall off?”
8yo: Why is he holding onto those things?
Me: So… so he doesn’t fall off?”
December 10, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Today’s elf is holding onto some oversized chopping boards we have hanging in the dining room.
8yo: Why is he holding onto those things?
Me: So… so he doesn’t fall off?”
8yo: Why is he holding onto those things?
Me: So… so he doesn’t fall off?”
I’m not a musicals guy.
However, Moulin Rouge is top ten. A literal masterpiece for me.
Had those songs stuck in my head for *days* right now.
However, Moulin Rouge is top ten. A literal masterpiece for me.
Had those songs stuck in my head for *days* right now.
December 10, 2025 at 5:01 AM
I’m not a musicals guy.
However, Moulin Rouge is top ten. A literal masterpiece for me.
Had those songs stuck in my head for *days* right now.
However, Moulin Rouge is top ten. A literal masterpiece for me.
Had those songs stuck in my head for *days* right now.
There’s a quiet campaign by the students in my class today to make “surprisement” a word.
“Much to my surprisement…”
Gotta say, I’m kinda here for it.
“Much to my surprisement…”
Gotta say, I’m kinda here for it.
December 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
There’s a quiet campaign by the students in my class today to make “surprisement” a word.
“Much to my surprisement…”
Gotta say, I’m kinda here for it.
“Much to my surprisement…”
Gotta say, I’m kinda here for it.
Reposted by Chris Fletcher
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)
December 9, 2025 at 2:27 AM
The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)