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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6h

guest staying on my couch last night
his alarm went off, snooze
fifteen minutes later, again, snooze

as if neither i not my roommate were sleeping

worst two and a half hours of my life

bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 17h

gf just pulled up the painting of jesus carrying a lamb and zoomed in and said "its yoooouuuuu"

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 1d

easing the first few letters of סוכריות to turn the matcha-labubu-dubai-chocolate golem into ריות and making an evil killing machine

Saoirse ☀️ @scratchcarddust.bsky.social · 1d

If you know basic kabbalah it's actually not too hard to make a golem out of a labubu. Don't recommend it though. They have a pre-existing body-dharma. As soon as they wake they run straight for the sea. V hard to counter. Lost the first one. No idea what it's doing out there. Moved like lightning.

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 1d

tummy sore from too much food and im eyeing the leftover mashed potatoes in my fridge

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 1d

if i watch all their shows and read all their books, maybe ill get a good mark on my friendship exam

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 1d

im just saying that cyclops wasn't able to participate in locktober

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 1d

but, what *would* you do if magneto appeared and ripped your balls off?

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 2d

gotta put the third in your inventory for outside interference!

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 3d

my mum has two cats, and while there are many ways in which they differ, the most important for me (as someone who walks around carrying hot tea) is that one likes to walk a few feet in front of me and the other likes to walk around 0.1mm in front of me

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 3d

has she, ... ever been to spain?

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 4d

I sometimes think you're speaking Akan, to be fair

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 4d

how does bsky decide what language to recommend here

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 4d

for the first time ever, i am reading philosophy and feeling in conversation with a person and not listening to a lecture from someone actively avoiding a querying raised hand

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 4d

it's cowardly that none of them interrogated this - if a child said that to me today id call them a fucking moron

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 4d

in younth, and all of the way up until my late teens, whenever an adult asked me about my future, i replied that the future was foreign, that i didn't exist in it, and only the present, that i knew then that my future self would have different wants and needs than my then self, so i didn't care

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 5d

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 5d

"so, can you ask your friends an family to write down all the ways in which you suck"

diagnostic methods for autism are notably insulting, but you can close your eyes and think of england when asked to brush your teeth in slow motion or describe a comic book story, this is satanic

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 5d

cancelling plans with friends until the radical left ends the government shutdown

bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6d

what the fuck was i doing last night

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6d

it's all lies

bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6d

none of the other books im reading right now are anywhere near as funny

bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6d

i had already filled my notebook with the obvious sex joke when this happened

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 6d

after introducing ontological self-certainty, the idea that a person might go through life consistently affirmed in their identity by all of the people and processes they encounter, a theory of mutual recognition, he introduces a character "estragon"

i fear that laing would have been a great poster

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 7d

i should go back to posting nudes instead of posting bad tweets

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bad opinion haver @completesham.bsky.social · 7d

got a last minute cancellation email from them

universe truly is beautiful

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