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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Just to prove that they can (and maybe gain some admirers), Charlie has not touched the floor all day. They're using a walking stick, lots of upper body strength, and incredible balance to basically hop everywhere without their feet touching the ground...

It's as exhausting as it sounds.

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"Smooth as a wet tile floor~"

Ah, so smooth in a dangerous way.

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Apr 8

Yeah, her humor is awful. But oh well.

Once her laughter died down, she came to her senses, at least.

❝That joke was awful. But smooth.❞

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"Hell yeah, still a comedic mastermind~"

They absolutely are not. Jill just has severe brainrot that gives Charlie all the advantages of Easy Mode.

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"Hell yeah, still a comedic mastermind~"

They absolutely are not. Jill just has severe brainrot that gives Charlie all the advantages of Easy Mode.

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Apr 8

❝Oh.❞

It took her a minute to process.

❝…………..Pfffft—❞

Sigh. Here it comes.

❝BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!—❞

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"Woah, please, Mix is the collection of drinks I put into a single gallon jug for storage space."

...Horrible as it was, Charlie has waited a shamefully long time to make that joke. ...Doing it with a bleeding lip was not in the plans, but so be it.

"Just call me buddy. Or pal. Or captain."

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"Woah, please, Mix is the collection of drinks I put into a single gallon jug for storage space."

...Horrible as it was, Charlie has waited a shamefully long time to make that joke. ...Doing it with a bleeding lip was not in the plans, but so be it.

"Just call me buddy. Or pal. Or captain."

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Apr 8

Oop. Oh god.

She quickly rushed over to them.

❝Ah!! I’m so sorry Mx.!! I forgot about the thorns!!❞

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Hell yeah! They're gonna catch one in their mouth!

...Wait, the thorns were removed first, ri-

SHRIEK!

"Owowow!"

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Hell yeah! They're gonna catch one in their mouth!

...Wait, the thorns were removed first, ri-

SHRIEK!

"Owowow!"

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Apr 8

Jill’s throwing a few roses in their way just for good measure. Look at ‘em go!

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Bow, bow. Pose, pose.

Charlie's hogging the imaginary spotlight, just like they deserve!

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

"I'm just gonna come out and say it... I like the cartoon with kids on an island full of mutant animals with human legs. It's the stupidest thing ever in the best way. It makes me want to become a scientist and create mutants of my own."

...Don't worry, Charlie sucks at science. They won't succeed.

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Bow, bow. Pose, pose.

Charlie's hogging the imaginary spotlight, just like they deserve!

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Apr 8

Wow!!!!

Cue applause from the bartender. What skill. Good job writ— Charlie!

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Suddenly does seven backflips because they remembered that they're supposed to be super cool.

...And because their writer remembered that this account needs more use.

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Apr 8

Suddenly does seven backflips because they remembered that they're supposed to be super cool.

...And because their writer remembered that this account needs more use.

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Dec 25

"Oh yeah, I exist. Merry Crimbo!"

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Reposted by Charlie

Kiwi @deceitfulscales.bsky.social · Dec 2

//Alright, since polls are still a thing that needs to be added here...

The next account (blind fire spaghetti shotgun menthod, something has to stick eventually) will be the concept that gets the most likes by the time I'm ready to make it. Everybody's also free to cast multiple votes this way.

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 18

Charlie was about to make a joke about kissing the homies good morning (it's 1 in the afternoon), but they get the feeling that they should move before a certain snake lady bulldozes them.

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 16

"I'm not calling them 'skeets'. That's so uncool..."

"We're calling them Bleets. It's either that or we just call them posts. I'm cute, pretty, and handsome all at once so you can't argue with me."

...It probably doesn't work like that, Charlie...

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 14

"My taste in partners is just women, James Moriarty from Fate GO, and wimpy nerds."

...uh, what sparked that information?

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 13

"Okay, what supplies do we need for the rescue mission?"

...HUH?! Charlie is way too excited over plushies. A whole rescue operation just for plushies?!

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 13

"Blue would look pretty good on you. Red might look a little out of place since you mostly seem like a winter color scheme type. But more importantly..."

How is the eye thing not the most impo- And they're taking hold of Reina's hands.

"Can I please meet your plushies?"

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 13

"Rin Penrose is the only person I'm jealous of. Heterochromia, a massive collection of plushies, and naturally funny? Goals."

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 13

"It's Wagon Wednesday! That means the Pulled Pork Wagon is back in tow- Wha?"

Sorry, somebody needs to pop in from off screen to whisper something to Charlie.

"...It's not about my favorite food truck? Them coming on Wednesdays is just a coincidence? ...It's about butts?! Well that's less fun."

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Reposted by Charlie

Kiwi @deceitfulscales.bsky.social · Nov 12

"Basically, I'm the best and worst thing to happen to this world~ I would explain more, but I have to go cut the crusts off of some sandwiches before the grandkids accuse me of trying to poison them."

Bird app migrant OC RP account.
Dark themes likely.
Grumpy old lady (we love hags (yes I had to)).

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"...But it's a sword. Shouldn't it eat metal?"

But they'll keep this in mind and buy a bunch of berries later.

Reina Kingchester(Fallen Arc) @queenlytrainer.bsky.social · Nov 12

"...Berries. Trust me, I know."

Given she knew her fathers Aegislash, she knows this.

"Don't ask where the mouth is. Just give it berries."

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"...So what do I feed a sentient sword ghost, anyway?"

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"...So what do I feed a sentient sword ghost, anyway?"

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"...Well that's not the Imperial sword I was making."

Charlie's garage forge is being visited by a Honedge... A Shiny Honedge at that!

"...Ultra cool!~"

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

Uh oh. That might have been a mistake. Charlie is looking way too happy to hear those words.

"Right, right?~ I'm the best, the coolest~"

Jill. @aneonglow.bsky.social · Nov 12

“You must be amazing if everyones so jealous of you, huh..”

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"Women want me, men want to be me. Men also want me, and women also want to be me."

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 12

"Women want me, men want to be me. Men also want me, and women also want to be me."

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Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 11

"In honor of Skyrim Day, I'm going to make a sword."

How are they planning to do that? Probably just pick up a stick and sharpen a point...

Oh. No. They're opening their garage to reveal a literal forge. Why do they have a forge? ...And where do they park their car?

Charlie @coolpurple.bsky.social · Nov 11

"Will do, doc~ You'll be the first to know if I have any toothaches~"

That in itself is a big improvement. Charlie usually avoids dentists as long as possible, so it's good to see them willing to actually reach out for a change.