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Darth Putin

@darthputinkgb.bsky.social

120K followers 77 following 3K posts

Czar for life of all Russians. Master Strategist. Tea connoisseur. Author. YouTuber. Window installer. Wanted in 123 countries. Parody, apparently.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · Jul 1

"Operation Spiderweb: I am Artem" product range now available. Help our charity while you make my trolls cry.

Links below.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 16h

Russia knows how to shoot down Tomahawks. Like we did for HIMARS, ATACMS, Storm shadows, F-16s, Mirages, MiG-29s, cheap drones and....

That time we couldn't stop US firing Tomahawks into Syria.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 17h

Day 1324 of my 3 day war. I asked my generals how we will deal with Tomahawk missiles if we can’t even stop Ukrainian drones. They looked nervously at the window.

I remain a master strategist.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 1d

You might think Trump's plan for a Nobel prize is flawed. But in 2015 I thought I'd get one for invading Ukraine.

I remain a master strategist.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 1d

Feature the black dress and heels of @mariadrutska.bsky.social

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 1d

Birthday Prez's scared witless or Tomahawks. So I'm making threats of WW3 again..

youtu.be/tkPWlfgIIjs

Birthday Putin scared witless of Tomahawks

YouTube video by In the Bunker with Darth Putin KGB

youtu.be

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 1d

What do you call a Russian mother who buys her mobilised son a carton of long life milk for the train ride?

An optimist.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 1d

You might hate your job. But at least you're not a russian general invited to a meal & drinks with Putin next to an open window.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 2d

Trump wants to know where Ukraine will use Tomahawks for 1 of 2 reasons.
-To tell us in advance
-To continue Biden's policy of "escalation management"

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Reposted by Darth Putin

Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

Happy birthday to Prez. Use code "BirthdayPrez" for 20% off today only. % to a charity drive. 👇🔗

darths-eu-webshop-shop.fourthwall.com/promo/BIRTHD...

Darth's EU Webshop

The official website and shop of Darth's EU Webshop. Find the latest content, buy merch, and support your favorite creator.

darths-eu-webshop-shop.fourthwall.com

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

How perfect.

Prune60 @prune602.bsky.social · 3d

Today is Putin’s birthday.

It is also National TACO day in the United States

What a coincidence

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

Editor locked in basement next to window as charity drives stress him.

bsky.app/profile/nast...

Anastasia Klimash 🇺🇦 @nastasiaklimash.bsky.social · 9d

Hey all, I’d appreciate your reposts for this fundraiser for equipment for my classmate’s Oleksii unit. Below is the list of the required stuff (sorry for the botched translation), and him with a cat 😸
Would appreciate your reposts!
To donate:
Monobank: send.monobank.ua/jar/6PXgBwLo...
PayPal ⬇️

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

Happy birthday to Prez. Use code "BirthdayPrez" for 20% off today only. % to a charity drive. 👇🔗

darths-eu-webshop-shop.fourthwall.com/promo/BIRTHD...

Darth's EU Webshop

The official website and shop of Darth's EU Webshop. Find the latest content, buy merch, and support your favorite creator.

darths-eu-webshop-shop.fourthwall.com

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

Who wants to brag about killing a donkey.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

For uncovering official wrongdoing she was awarded Russia's prestigious "Kalashnikov prize for journalism" and died at the scene.

We had previously tried to poison her tea on a flight, if you can imagine that.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 3d

OTD in 2006 journalist & activist Anna Politkovskaya was shot dead. Whoever is responsible for having her killed is still at large. And turns 73 today.

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Reposted by Darth Putin

H I Sutton @covertshores.bsky.social · 3d

Quick guide to Tomahawk cruise missile variants

TLAM - land attack

TSAM - anti-ship

GLCM - ground launched

TACTOM - improved “tactical” version

TACO - version talked about but never delivered to Ukraine

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 4d

Told Trump a "colossal landslide" is when you get 146% of the vote.

He seemed to think it was a challenge.

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Reposted by Darth Putin

Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 5d

Liubov told Prez to look on bright side. At least it's safe to smoke at a Russian petrol station...

youtu.be/nfuSzlNAksk

Ukraine striking Putin's refineries and will Putin have to mobilize?

YouTube video by In the Bunker with Darth Putin KGB

youtu.be

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 4d

Russian war veteran speaking to grandchild in year 2050:
-Grandpa, what did Russian army use before donkeys?
-In the really old days we had Armoured Personal Carriers.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 4d

The stone age did not end cos they ran out of stone. But when it runs out of oil, Russia's army will return to the stone age.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 5d

Liubov told Prez to look on bright side. At least it's safe to smoke at a Russian petrol station...

youtu.be/nfuSzlNAksk

Ukraine striking Putin's refineries and will Putin have to mobilize?

YouTube video by In the Bunker with Darth Putin KGB

youtu.be

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 6d

It's comforting to know world's largest nuclear arsenal is controlled by man as sane as your Prez.

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Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 7d

bsky.app/profile/dart...

Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 7d

Maybe some campus shutdowns or something. Apparently not. Apparently if it's Russia the proper course of action is not opposition but appeasement.

Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 7d

Good point. Never mind. Nothing to protest.

Darth Putin @darthputinkgb.bsky.social · 7d

Do not believe anything until the Kremlin denies it™️

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