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Derek Sheen

@dereksheen.bsky.social

1.3K followers 1.5K following 800 posts

Comedian, actor, writer, musician and pretty great in the kitchen. My new solo show "MotherL*ver" is coming soon to a town near you. Check out my albums on Apple Music and Spotify! You can find out all about me here: https://linktr.ee/dereksheen

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Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1h

Sounds more like Dad Rock to me.

KOJAMF🤘🖤🤘 @kojamf.bsky.social · 3h

Kid Rock

Reposted by Derek Sheen

Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 14h

So I guess for MAGA when a Chinese balloon goes over US airspace it’s a week straight of apoplectic comments that WW3 is starting because Biden is weak, but when Trump allows the Qataris to have an airbase in the US and fly fighter jets over our country that is America First.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 14h

"I see that guy sitting on his desk and looking out at me like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, taking a big bit of that cereal with the runny dye in it and saying, 'Nope, nothing wrong here,' and I get sick to my stomach”-Cujo

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 20h

Mike Johnson: "We're so angry about it. I mean, I'm a very patient guy, but I've had it with these people. The theory we have right now -- they have a hate America rally that's scheduled for October 18 on the National Mall. It's the pro-Hamas wing and antifa people ... "

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

It is!

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

Every time I see her, I keep hoping to hear a branch snap before 17 kids burst through the wall and tear her legs off.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve lost 30lbs in the last 90 days and my only goal right now is to get to a place where I can finally landscape my ‘fella yard’, which basically looks like the hedge maze from The Shining now.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

Doctor: “What’s your name?”
DJT: “Dermald Turmp”
Dr: “Uh…what the date?”
DJT: “Who really knows, what with the windmills and electric boats…ya know, there’s no more boats in Venezuela, that’s for sure. Do you love your family, doctor? Would you like to see them again?”
Dr: “Um…uh…great job! Pass!”

Secretary of Defense Rock @sodrock.bsky.social · 1d

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

I donated to his campaign and I could’ve just set that money on fire.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

She’s probably hocking a new book/shitcoin/ornament/watch/perfume/clothing line?

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

Republicans are in favor of awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to a president who‘s about to end Habeus Corpus and enact the Insurrection Act on his own people in order to keep his kid fucking, and his kid fucking friends, a secret.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

What an utter disappointment of a human being.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

FOX: Do you think Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize?

FETTERMAN: If this sticks. I think the whole point of having a Nobel Peace Prize is for ending wars and promoting peace. And if he brings the Ukrainian war to its end, I will be the Democrat leading the committee for his Nobel Prize Peace.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

WHAT FUCKING WORLD AM I LIVING IN WHERE I AGREE WITH MTG!!?

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Marjorie Taylor Greene: "I'm talking about the Epstein list. I genuinely don't understand why there's been any effort to hide this & prevent it from coming out. But b/c of the efforts for years now to hide it, it certainly makes you feel afraid when you're one of the ones truly on the frontlines."

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

I think the bigger story that’s being ignored is that Marjorie Taylor Greene went on CNN.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Greene on the Epstein files: "I can't conclusively say that's why the House isn't in session, but the House should be in session...there is a new Democrat that's been elected that deserves to be sworn in...if it's to avoid the discharge petition, why drag this out? It's going to have 218 signatures"

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 1d

He’s been practicing that joke in front of a mirror for a couple of days.

Reposted by Derek Sheen

Molly Jong-Fast @mollyjongfast.bsky.social · 3d

She is not doing well

Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 3d

Schiff: This is supposed to be an oversight hearing when dozens of prosecutors have been fired simply because they worked on cases investigating the former president.

Bondi: What about the fires in California? Are the riots in LA serious?

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

HAHAHA!! This premise definitely has legs!

Reposted by Derek Sheen

Mary Shannon @maryshannonthomas.bsky.social · 4d

Hey @jaketapper.bsky.social your deeply researched book on this man's mental decline drops any day now, right?

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

His brain is just stewed tomatoes now.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d

"It was a rigged deal" -- Trump is asked about Lula but then his brain flits to his teleprompter not working at the UN

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

Pudding brains

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

What's scary is that his brain is so fucking cooked, he's both lying AND being honest when he says he hasn't heard her name in a long time,, because it was at least two weeks ago.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d

COLLINS: Pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell -- is that something you're open to doing?

TRUMP: Who are we talking about?

C: Ghislaine Maxwell

T: I haven't heard the name is so long. I can say this -- I'd have to take a look at it ... I will speak to the DOJ

C: She's convicted of child sex trafficking

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

Reporter to Trump on having to walk up Wizard Stairs when they became just regular stairs:
"What's your message to Americans who are worried for you and your family's safety?"
Trump: "Yeah, the teleprompter didn't work."

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

Amazing. Did he find a way to un-rape all those children?

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d

Trump: "I want to be good because you want to prove to God so you go to that next step, right? So that's very important to me."

Reposted by Derek Sheen

Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 4d

Lots of thoughts and prayers to all the casualties, orphans, and people left homeless in war ravaged Portland as you dig yourselves out of the rubble and wreckage of what remains of your once beautiful city. You will never be forgotten.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 4d

It's beginning to feel like these briefings have two objectives:
1. To continue evading accountability by constantly asserting the 'mainstream media' are aligned with leftist ideologues whose only agenda is to destroy Trump.
2. Allow right wing influencers oxygen for batshit conspiracy theories.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d

Q: Is the administration considering steps to undo approval of a new abortion drug in light of requests from pro-life Congress members and organizations?

LEAVITT: I think Secretary Kennedy and HHS were following the law and we will continue to do so. It's not an endorsement of this drug.

Derek Sheen @dereksheen.bsky.social · 7d

Did he post this to his Grindr profile?