Looking at the turkey longingly and jealously because I also want to get stuffed

Now I have to wait another month for more episodes of Stranger Things?! Bullshit

Sorry I can’t hear you over the Stranger Things intro music

Reminder. It’s that time of year again. If you find me lying under your Christmas tree, it’s because I’m a fucking gift.

That awkward moment you see your blow-up doll that you thought you lost months ago floating by in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

“Sales never sleeps” she says as she closes another sale on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving implies the existence of Yourewelcomegiving and I’m so sorry I’ll see myself out.

Looking at the turkey longingly and jealously because I also want to get stuffed

unlike SOME people, i don’t subskeet

Pulling up the function like

Whoa! Maybe don't tell anyone about that. Yeah, take that one to the grave. Yikes.

~ me, as a therapist

Either you all just got sucked into a void or my following feed is broken

RIP bsky moots 💔🪦 (just in case)

y’ever have that thing where you see and interact with someone on here so much you just assume you’re following them but you aren’t. wild stuff

Sorry I was late to Thanksgiving. I was participating in Thanksgiving day activities on my Animal Crossing island

Happy Day of Thanks!

I am thankful for all of you weirdo people who talk to me from inside my phone, you challenge me to be smarter and tighten up my jokes, but mostly you just make me laugh and that’s a pretty good thing these days

You've just died.
The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.

Joe Goldberg…. Fuck

I may not be a big titty goth girl but I still have a lot to offer such as gentle bullying, dark humor, and my unwavering love and support

i do not care about follower count, i just want everyone to think i’m hot and funny and relatable

EDM 🤝 Metalcore

My life is a sitcom but the writers are on strike

I closed a large sale this afternoon through email. What can I say, ya girl has a gift

Kiss me, I taste like mesquite BBQ chips

Almost turkey day everybody, y'all know what that means, time tT̵̼̭̭̜̮͒ḩ̵̛̠̼̪̍͋͊ͅe̵̩̿ ̴̲͓̪͓͐͑̿͠͝F̸͍͎̭͗̈́̋̓ọ̷̜͍̟̜̔̅̍̂̾g̶̤̱̍̓͝ ̶͔̱̐͂i̶͎̒͋́̅͜s̸͍͈̯͗̄ ̷̨͔͈̑̿͘c̸̺͚̿ó̶̱͙̣͗͐̑̉m̷̛̹͓̆̋͑i̶̧̞̫͈̲̒͠n̷͈̝̬̫̠͂g̴̝̩̮̓̈̀ T̵̼̭̭̜̮͒ḩ̵̛̠̼̪̍͋͊ͅe̵̩̿ ̴̲͓̪͓͐͑̿͠͝F̸͍͎̭͗̈́̋̓ọ̷̜͍̟̜̔̅̍̂̾g̶̤̱̍̓͝ ̶͔̱̐͂i̶͎̒͋́̅͜s̸͍͈̯͗̄ ̷̨͔͈̑̿͘c̸̺͚̿ó̶̱͙̣͗͐̑̉m̷̛̹͓̆̋͑i̶̧̞̫͈̲̒͠n̷͈̝̬̫̠͂g̴̝̩̮̓̈̀T̵̼̭̭̜̮͒ḩ̵̛̠̼̪̍͋͊ͅe̵̩̿ ̴̲͓̪͓͐͑̿͠͝F̸͍͎̭͗̈́̋̓ọ̷̜͍̟̜̔̅̍̂̾g̶̤̱̍̓͝ ̶͔̱̐͂i̶͎̒͋́̅͜s̸͍͈̯͗̄ ̷̨͔͈̑̿͘c̸̺͚̿ó̶̱͙̣͗͐̑̉m̷̛̹͓̆̋͑i̶̧̞̫͈̲̒͠n̷͈̝̬̫̠͂g̴̝̩̮̓̈̀ T̵̼̭̭̜̮͒ḩ̵̛̠̼̪̍͋͊ͅe̵̩̿ ̴̲͓̪͓͐͑̿͠͝F̸͍͎̭͗̈́̋̓ọ̷̜͍̟̜̔̅̍̂̾g̶̤̱̍̓͝ ̶͔̱̐͂i̶͎̒͋́̅͜s̸͍͈̯͗̄ ̷̨͔͈̑̿͘c̸̺͚̿ó̶̱͙̣͗͐̑̉m̷̛̹͓̆̋͑i̶̧̞̫͈̲̒͠n̷͈̝̬̫̠͂g̴̝̩̮̓̈̀ T̵̼̭̭̜̮͒ḩ̵̛̠̼̪̍͋͊ͅe̵̩̿ ̴̲͓̪͓͐͑̿͠͝F̸͍͎̭͗̈́̋̓ọ̷̜͍̟̜̔̅̍̂̾g̶̤̱̍̓͝ ̶͔̱̐͂i̶͎̒͋́̅͜s̸͍͈̯͗̄ ̷̨͔͈̑̿͘c̸̺͚̿ó̶̱͙̣͗͐̑̉m̷̛̹͓̆̋͑i̶̧̞̫͈̲̒͠n̷͈̝̬̫̠͂g̴̝̩̮̓̈̀

C’mon people, these posts aren’t gonna shit themselves.