Your New Dad
@dinocrisisactor.bsky.social
I'm your new stepdad, sport.
ADHD kids: *find ways to distract themselves from the painful anxiety of a lack of stimulation*
American School System: "Oh boy, that's a detention!"
American School System: "Oh boy, that's a detention!"
January 9, 2026 at 6:39 AM
ADHD kids: *find ways to distract themselves from the painful anxiety of a lack of stimulation*
American School System: "Oh boy, that's a detention!"
American School System: "Oh boy, that's a detention!"
So anyways, I'm back from a 3-day suspension for saying mean things about ICE.
Any important news stories happen?
Any important news stories happen?
January 9, 2026 at 5:48 AM
So anyways, I'm back from a 3-day suspension for saying mean things about ICE.
Any important news stories happen?
Any important news stories happen?
This all seems like a lot of effort and energy just to keep one elderly pedophile out of jail.
January 9, 2026 at 5:36 AM
This all seems like a lot of effort and energy just to keep one elderly pedophile out of jail.
Someone who is good at politics explain to me why all of our enemies are drawn so big.
January 5, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Someone who is good at politics explain to me why all of our enemies are drawn so big.
Reposted by Your New Dad
Parker Molloy needs to come back to BlueSky.
They're missing the dumbest people to ever live insisting you're a nazi if you don't add Big Naturals to kids cartoons, proving me 100% right:
We need to bring back bullying. With interest.
Gamers need to be wedgied until they have dislocated hips.
They're missing the dumbest people to ever live insisting you're a nazi if you don't add Big Naturals to kids cartoons, proving me 100% right:
We need to bring back bullying. With interest.
Gamers need to be wedgied until they have dislocated hips.
January 5, 2026 at 7:35 PM
Parker Molloy needs to come back to BlueSky.
They're missing the dumbest people to ever live insisting you're a nazi if you don't add Big Naturals to kids cartoons, proving me 100% right:
We need to bring back bullying. With interest.
Gamers need to be wedgied until they have dislocated hips.
They're missing the dumbest people to ever live insisting you're a nazi if you don't add Big Naturals to kids cartoons, proving me 100% right:
We need to bring back bullying. With interest.
Gamers need to be wedgied until they have dislocated hips.
There is nothing more United States than being 30 steps behind China and starting a war for oil.
We're going to send our kids to die so billionaires can see a 1% uptick in stock value, meanwhile every headline outside of the US is "billionaire executed, renewables reach 128% efficiency"
We're going to send our kids to die so billionaires can see a 1% uptick in stock value, meanwhile every headline outside of the US is "billionaire executed, renewables reach 128% efficiency"
January 5, 2026 at 7:25 PM
There is nothing more United States than being 30 steps behind China and starting a war for oil.
We're going to send our kids to die so billionaires can see a 1% uptick in stock value, meanwhile every headline outside of the US is "billionaire executed, renewables reach 128% efficiency"
We're going to send our kids to die so billionaires can see a 1% uptick in stock value, meanwhile every headline outside of the US is "billionaire executed, renewables reach 128% efficiency"
Reposted by Your New Dad
amazing how the entire machine can pivot within 24 hours. no need to slowly upsell the argument; just issue new marching orders
January 5, 2026 at 6:50 AM
amazing how the entire machine can pivot within 24 hours. no need to slowly upsell the argument; just issue new marching orders
When I say social media discourse is useless, I mean this.
Everyone just talks past each other like it's a capture the flag game, and the first person to grab the victim flag is the winner.
Everyone just talks past each other like it's a capture the flag game, and the first person to grab the victim flag is the winner.
Truly, some of the most insufferable people on the planet.
Sorry, but it's absolutely weirdo shit to to make a mod to give a video game character bigger boobs (whether this or Tomb Raider mods).
This has nothing to do with furries. It's weird that people keep viewing this as an attack on furries.
Sorry, but it's absolutely weirdo shit to to make a mod to give a video game character bigger boobs (whether this or Tomb Raider mods).
This has nothing to do with furries. It's weird that people keep viewing this as an attack on furries.
January 4, 2026 at 10:36 PM
When I say social media discourse is useless, I mean this.
Everyone just talks past each other like it's a capture the flag game, and the first person to grab the victim flag is the winner.
Everyone just talks past each other like it's a capture the flag game, and the first person to grab the victim flag is the winner.
"Everyone Is Twelve Years Old"
the most braindead kind of take in these situations. we've had the unquestioned power to turn most countries into glass parking lots for most of our lifetimes. who on earth is still impressed by this?
January 4, 2026 at 7:15 PM
"Everyone Is Twelve Years Old"
Annual reminder that the film Wrong Turn is a documentary.
January 4, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Annual reminder that the film Wrong Turn is a documentary.
The elementary school haunted house black sheets.
The gold spraypainted rickety chairs.
A live feed of Grok posting CSAM.
Everything about this administration is just so embarrassing.
Just a complete Temu-ass knockoff of the Bin Laden raid, but staged like a kindergarten recital.
The gold spraypainted rickety chairs.
A live feed of Grok posting CSAM.
Everything about this administration is just so embarrassing.
Just a complete Temu-ass knockoff of the Bin Laden raid, but staged like a kindergarten recital.
Several of the photos have Twitter up on a screen in the background but I can’t make out what search term appears
January 3, 2026 at 9:50 PM
The elementary school haunted house black sheets.
The gold spraypainted rickety chairs.
A live feed of Grok posting CSAM.
Everything about this administration is just so embarrassing.
Just a complete Temu-ass knockoff of the Bin Laden raid, but staged like a kindergarten recital.
The gold spraypainted rickety chairs.
A live feed of Grok posting CSAM.
Everything about this administration is just so embarrassing.
Just a complete Temu-ass knockoff of the Bin Laden raid, but staged like a kindergarten recital.
Permanent reminder that the United States has two political parties:
- The Republicans
- The Eunuch Servants of The Republicans
- The Republicans
- The Eunuch Servants of The Republicans
January 3, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Permanent reminder that the United States has two political parties:
- The Republicans
- The Eunuch Servants of The Republicans
- The Republicans
- The Eunuch Servants of The Republicans
How it feels to shit all over a bad TV show / movie / video game without some right wing dork showing up to agree with you but blaming it on women / black people / gays / jews
January 3, 2026 at 9:19 AM
How it feels to shit all over a bad TV show / movie / video game without some right wing dork showing up to agree with you but blaming it on women / black people / gays / jews
As a proud resident of Hog Hump, Kansas, I just want everyone to know I slipped on a cow pie and landed on the wheat thresher in such a way that it cut off my penis and also testicles and there's no one to blame but Zohran Mamdani.
January 3, 2026 at 2:38 AM
As a proud resident of Hog Hump, Kansas, I just want everyone to know I slipped on a cow pie and landed on the wheat thresher in such a way that it cut off my penis and also testicles and there's no one to blame but Zohran Mamdani.
I want a Volkswagen ID Buzz so bad but can't afford one.
How do I go about getting a free one from them, like as a spokesman or brand ambassador or whatever?
I drive around a lot and love talking about cars. Give me a free Buzz, VW.
How do I go about getting a free one from them, like as a spokesman or brand ambassador or whatever?
I drive around a lot and love talking about cars. Give me a free Buzz, VW.
January 2, 2026 at 6:49 PM
I want a Volkswagen ID Buzz so bad but can't afford one.
How do I go about getting a free one from them, like as a spokesman or brand ambassador or whatever?
I drive around a lot and love talking about cars. Give me a free Buzz, VW.
How do I go about getting a free one from them, like as a spokesman or brand ambassador or whatever?
I drive around a lot and love talking about cars. Give me a free Buzz, VW.
While it's impossible to ever top the Marie Antoinette / Gojira / Ah! Ça ira! segment of the Paris Olympics opening ceremony, I am really looking forward to seeing how the Italians try to.
January 2, 2026 at 6:17 PM
While it's impossible to ever top the Marie Antoinette / Gojira / Ah! Ça ira! segment of the Paris Olympics opening ceremony, I am really looking forward to seeing how the Italians try to.
Launching a $20,000,000 missile from a boat that costs $8,000,000 a day to operate to blow up a few thousand dollars worth of shit you can legally purchase in the 35 sane states. I'm loving this new era of government efficiency and cost-cutting.
January 2, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Launching a $20,000,000 missile from a boat that costs $8,000,000 a day to operate to blow up a few thousand dollars worth of shit you can legally purchase in the 35 sane states. I'm loving this new era of government efficiency and cost-cutting.
Genuinely happy that in the Stranger Things finale Vecna was killed with just plain violence and not "the power of friendship" or some dumb shit.
Like that must have taken incredible restraint by the writers, or some Netflix producer threatened them with a gun.
Like that must have taken incredible restraint by the writers, or some Netflix producer threatened them with a gun.
January 2, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Genuinely happy that in the Stranger Things finale Vecna was killed with just plain violence and not "the power of friendship" or some dumb shit.
Like that must have taken incredible restraint by the writers, or some Netflix producer threatened them with a gun.
Like that must have taken incredible restraint by the writers, or some Netflix producer threatened them with a gun.
I just did my first cuss of 2026
January 1, 2026 at 10:03 PM
I just did my first cuss of 2026
The Dilbert guy tried to use ivermectin to treat his butthole cancer and now he's paralyzed and dying lmao.
January 1, 2026 at 9:51 PM
The Dilbert guy tried to use ivermectin to treat his butthole cancer and now he's paralyzed and dying lmao.
How the comedy sausage is made:
All of your favorite accounts are searching terms like "nye feast" or "new years feast" or "new year dinner" so they can quote - post it with "POV: you're a/n [animal] about to be euthanized"
All of your favorite accounts are searching terms like "nye feast" or "new years feast" or "new year dinner" so they can quote - post it with "POV: you're a/n [animal] about to be euthanized"
January 1, 2026 at 7:10 AM
How the comedy sausage is made:
All of your favorite accounts are searching terms like "nye feast" or "new years feast" or "new year dinner" so they can quote - post it with "POV: you're a/n [animal] about to be euthanized"
All of your favorite accounts are searching terms like "nye feast" or "new years feast" or "new year dinner" so they can quote - post it with "POV: you're a/n [animal] about to be euthanized"