prydwen deadskull
direlog.bsky.social
prydwen deadskull
@direlog.bsky.social
sex cop. world hero. american moral terminus
Pinned
my dream wedding:

MAN BURSTING INTO CHURCH: stop! stop! that's not roslyn wellbelove! you're about marry *morgan skullgrave*!
CHURCHGOERS: *gasp in unison*
ME (turning, resplendent in my wedding-dress fashioned of swan-wings and conflict ivory, baring teeth filed to wicked points): i know
LRT reminded me of that oral history piece on the films of thomas vinterberg
November 27, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Reposted by prydwen deadskull
“Unc” is a contemporary slang[1] term, an abbreviation of “Unchristian”, used originally to describe the evil clone[2] of Christian Slater[3] created in a freak laboratory accident on the set of True Romance[4]
November 27, 2025 at 2:09 PM
darn. the air tonight is heavy with the smoke of toxic cougars
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
I'm not made of human meat. They stuck a lot of bowling balls together, and I was birthed eventuslly
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
oh, no, i'm practicing traditional chastity. you know, kneeling before a mirror every night and being assailed by horrifying visions of a skeletal knight chasing me through the woods, the diaphanous fabric of my dress torn and bloodied by the thick underbrush
November 26, 2025 at 9:30 PM
i want to do a "don't make me tap the wittgenstein" joke with this but probably it's played out by now
can’t fucking catch a breath

make it stop
November 26, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by prydwen deadskull
November 26, 2025 at 5:51 PM
here's how i would handle a judd apatow type situation

INT. EVIL QUEEN'S DUNGEON NIGHT

SETH ROGEN: hey no way, did you guys get framed for treason by a jealous uncle too?
ME: shut up seth rogen. and do not speak to me. i am here purely for weird sex reasons

see? gotta nip it right in the bud
November 26, 2025 at 8:01 PM
remembering to put on a Normal Face when the lift doors open
November 26, 2025 at 1:28 PM
peeling off my ghastly carapace to reveal the beautiful, anatomically-correct, non-venomous body underneath
November 26, 2025 at 1:05 PM
in the videogame you can generate massive worlds and watch the inhabitants die of curable diseases
November 26, 2025 at 1:09 AM
BRETT: Moral Zones exist to punish the wicked and to give life meaning.
MARTHA: The Scion wants to change history to suit his needs. His poets are everywhere.
JENNA (quietly): We live in an age where justice has little meaning.
CRUZ: With the lost weapons of the barbaric age, justice will be mine.
November 25, 2025 at 9:09 PM
welcome to witch high school. we've got all sorts of interesting pupils here, from the fabulously rich, to the wretchedly indigent
November 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
one of the best scores in golf is "crow in the donut hole". one of the worst scores in golf is "cormorant in the tax office"
November 25, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Reposted by prydwen deadskull
November 25, 2025 at 6:31 AM
one of the risks entailed by going deep underwater is that dolphins may try to touch you with their horrid rubbery beaks
November 25, 2025 at 2:12 PM
standing on top of a skyscraper firing the self-bondage gun into the night sky. the stars are going out one by one
November 25, 2025 at 12:11 PM
the human body is made of a smooth, proprietary material that is completely body-safe
November 25, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Reposted by prydwen deadskull
dragon lady next to me at the second life rave was too close and her wings kept clipping through my player model. I didn't mind but she apologied each and every time it happened. chat was filled with hundreds of variations of "oop sowwie >_<!! xoxo" and "uaah! not again! orz" by the end of the night
May 20, 2025 at 5:54 PM
my liege, the nuns have been seduced by flesh holograms on the salt flats. with your permission i will ride out and seduce them back
November 24, 2025 at 11:59 PM
ORCHIECTOMY BARN GREETER: well hey there folks, welcome to the orchiectomy barn! looking to lighten the load today?
November 24, 2025 at 10:15 PM
using biofeedback techniques to summon local wolves. not for any particular reason i just think the neighbourhood would benefit from some wolves
November 24, 2025 at 10:08 PM
idea: kuleshov tarot. every card is a black-and-white picture of a man staring at you. each card has an unique back design, but there is no indication of *which* card it is beyond this
November 24, 2025 at 8:56 PM
well, you know what they say. the world is a mirror of variable roughness
November 24, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Reposted by prydwen deadskull
[Guy whose effort has never been coordinated to the benefit of anybody] stop complaining about our society coordinating your effort to the benefit of others!!!!
November 24, 2025 at 1:40 PM