who needs revenge when the person who wronged you is ruining their own life? 🥰

bro the ppl who won’t download tiktok for fear of data leaks to china are cool with war plans being discussed in an iphone group chat with numbers being accidentally added willy nilly.

i am 95% sure that this is my ex gf (who’s number is blocked) bc it was sent after i viewed her snap story and now i need to know what is more insane: lurking on your ex’s social medias or your ex downloading a texting app to text you bc they’re blocked.

Kendrick Lamar deserves to win the very first Nobel Hate Prize

i need the people who run arizona iced tea to be put in charge of the economy. 99¢ has stayed 99¢ all these years.

if there is a person out there who is keeping track of the price of eggs each week now that orange puff felon is in office, i would like to follow them.

a mantra as i read onyx storm: a hopeless romantic would not kill off a soulmate. a hopeless romantic would not kill off a soulmate. a hopeless romantic would not kill off a soulmate. a hopeless romantic would not kill off a soulmate. a hopeless romantic would not kill off a soulmate.

I'm spending the rest of the day writing a fanfic about Vine and TikTok boinking each other in every single way.

he is literally the abusive parent and cult leader who takes away privileges / entertainment / necessities then returns them with a hug and some koolaid so that you can wash down the mental manipulation he just subjected you to.

My 3 y/o was reading Meta’s new community standards when she turned to me, gravely, and asked: “Daddy, why don’t people like the nice tech bro man with the fro and the bling?” And when I told her “because woke America has been neutered of its masculine energy,” she started crying.

i’m just a tiktok refugee who is too nervous to download little red book and learn mandarin 🩵