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James

James

@dyanhiel.bsky.social

2K followers 1.3K following 6.7K posts

Another gay on social media..groundbreaking. Plant addict. Neurodivergent mess. 🚩 Way behind everyone else. Audience to my own life. Fun fact: I've been with more social media platforms than I have other people. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧 Austisticme.blogspot.com

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James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · Nov 28

Hey babe, are you a hermit crab 🦀 cos I'm an empty shell 🐚

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 48m

Thank you for saying. This path we walk eh.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

just me and my feels, and silence and an aching that, at best, is like a faint migraine one tries to ignore, but at worse, a nauseating ache that not even darkness soothes.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

someone real, not a fantasy, a crush. Maybe I'm a bit damaged from years of being locked up inside, maybe I'm too deep and emotional, maybe too it's the autism, I dunno, but the handful of dates I've ever had has always seen guys slowly back away and then run. 🤷‍♂️ So it's always

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

themes have mostly been my life too. And although I'm now the most comfortable in my skin I've ever been, and I'm out, and I have gay friends, and go to Prides, there remains such longing, unfulfilment, loneliness. Aching that I can only repress because I'm unable to find

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

to get over the insane and stupid fantasy and feelings.

Boots- Sullivan is a spitting image of that guy. And I guess the ghosts are stirring. Plus the show about repressed, unlived, even self-loathing sexuality and unspoken longing, fighting what should be embraced and lived, those

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

into a huge crush over him. To see him would leave me shaking. I agonsied for weeks, a fantasy of a light in my darkness. Anyway, after seeing his name on his bank card, and looking online, I saw that yes, he was in the forces, and also married with a new baby too. It took me a while but I managed

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

I literally felt stunned. Something about him.. the piercing eyes, the way he carried himself. I saw him a few times in store. And, because of where I was at inside myself, I guess I took that stunning stranger and projected so much feeling and dreaming onto him in my mind, and ended up going

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

always feel a pang of longing from the sadness of my loneliness when I'd see a hot guy (forces or not), couldn't just enjoy a view, nope, always sent into emotional serials. Heck, did I learn how to mask back then. Anyway, one time I happened to glance up from my till, and saw this guy and, well,

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 9h

I'm enjoying #Boots, but it's also making me achey inside.

Years ago, when I worked retail, there was a nearby Marine base. There'd often be guys pop in the store and you could just tell them were from the base, that disciplined way they moved. Me, as a repressed, depressed, and emotional gay, I'd

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 12h

Tired, feeling of falling flat.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 20h

Interview #1 done. Good practice. Don't think it's a feasible role for me though, due to 3 or 4 office visits per year needed. 5 hours travel each way for a start.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 1d

Fingers crossed 🤞

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 1d

Merry Christmas!

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 1d

Hopefully just the one. The trails were by my plants and I found it under a pot.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 1d

In a bit of good news, I found the slug that was hiding in my bedroom.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Tightrope duel.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

No, I didn't at first, but in Titans she's won me over. She's sharp and I'm here for it. I liked Evah in her original season, but in this, she needs to get over herself, I've gone right off her. I'm probably one of those fans who would kill for Sigourney.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Zooming in to look at your plants.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Dragula is edgy, raw, and diverse. It's the best. Hope there's another UK monster who has a go on it. One a bit more fierce than Anna

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

That was a chuckle. Was that Cynthia who said it? She's hilarious either way. So sassy.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Dammit! #CelebrityTraitors

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

They better not cliffhanger this.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah. Exactly.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Hmm can't call this vote. Would look bad if they take out David though.

James @dyanhiel.bsky.social · 2d

Want a house for me, my plants, my lego.