eli yudin
@eliyudin.com
comedian :( POD: @whatatimepod.bsky.social IG: instagram.com/yahootoolbar TWITCH: twitch.tv/pig_dog NEWSLETTER: humbleoffering.com
Pinned
eli yudin
@eliyudin.com
· Aug 23
Humble Offering | Stand Up Comedy | Eli Yudin Full Special
YouTube video by Cracked Comedy Club
youtu.be
MY SPECIAL IS LIVE PLEASE WATCH I’M VERY PROUD OF IT youtu.be/g9NT46SGqFY?...
have any sites ranked which QBs throw the most hospital passes because some of these Stroud passes are like something from a Mythbusters episode about whether a wide receiver’s spine can explode
January 13, 2026 at 3:14 AM
have any sites ranked which QBs throw the most hospital passes because some of these Stroud passes are like something from a Mythbusters episode about whether a wide receiver’s spine can explode
fallout 4 first time blind playthrough starting at 6:30 eastern www.twitch.tv/pig_dog
January 12, 2026 at 10:08 PM
fallout 4 first time blind playthrough starting at 6:30 eastern www.twitch.tv/pig_dog
Reposted by eli yudin
Fundraiser for Minneapolis ICE shooter that’s already raised $178,000 casually points out that the mayor is Jewish 😬
January 12, 2026 at 8:25 PM
Fundraiser for Minneapolis ICE shooter that’s already raised $178,000 casually points out that the mayor is Jewish 😬
new newsletter about how i’m staying sane sort of www.humbleoffering.com/something-to...
January 12, 2026 at 8:55 PM
new newsletter about how i’m staying sane sort of www.humbleoffering.com/something-to...
THE STRANGER THINGS KIDS IF THEY WORKED AT A SUBWAY:
wait, i just realized… the upside down… it’s kind of like a subway sandwich
wait, i just realized… the upside down… it’s kind of like a subway sandwich
January 10, 2026 at 11:12 PM
THE STRANGER THINGS KIDS IF THEY WORKED AT A SUBWAY:
wait, i just realized… the upside down… it’s kind of like a subway sandwich
wait, i just realized… the upside down… it’s kind of like a subway sandwich
says something about instagram that I really expected her to start eating the dog food
January 10, 2026 at 7:56 PM
says something about instagram that I really expected her to start eating the dog food
spent a bunch of time yesterday modding Fallout 4 to work like a game that came out in any recent time in service of a blind playthrough on Twitch maybe starting monday. i’m going to make a miserable old man who thinks it was good that it happened
January 10, 2026 at 7:50 PM
spent a bunch of time yesterday modding Fallout 4 to work like a game that came out in any recent time in service of a blind playthrough on Twitch maybe starting monday. i’m going to make a miserable old man who thinks it was good that it happened
thinking about the cop on season 1 of the survival show Alone who spent his entire intro talking about how nothing scares him because of the danger he faces every day on *the streets*. he then sees a bear and immediately calls for emergency extraction less than 24 hours after they dropped him off
January 10, 2026 at 3:32 AM
thinking about the cop on season 1 of the survival show Alone who spent his entire intro talking about how nothing scares him because of the danger he faces every day on *the streets*. he then sees a bear and immediately calls for emergency extraction less than 24 hours after they dropped him off
Reposted by eli yudin
Reposted by eli yudin
for no reason thinking of this classic @eliyudin.com banger
January 9, 2026 at 3:43 AM
for no reason thinking of this classic @eliyudin.com banger
once you realize that “Stranger Things” is set in the 1980s, you’ll start to notice that it’s chock-full of subtle references to that time period
January 9, 2026 at 2:00 AM
once you realize that “Stranger Things” is set in the 1980s, you’ll start to notice that it’s chock-full of subtle references to that time period
ME AT 25 WHEN THE NEIGHBORS IN A MOVIE ASK A PARTY TO BE QUIET:
haha fuck these losers!!! throw them in the pool!!! maybe kill them??
ME WATCHING THE SAME SCENE NOW AT 35:
yes bitch. you DO have work in the morning. unplug the stereo. show them you mean business
haha fuck these losers!!! throw them in the pool!!! maybe kill them??
ME WATCHING THE SAME SCENE NOW AT 35:
yes bitch. you DO have work in the morning. unplug the stereo. show them you mean business
January 9, 2026 at 1:54 AM
ME AT 25 WHEN THE NEIGHBORS IN A MOVIE ASK A PARTY TO BE QUIET:
haha fuck these losers!!! throw them in the pool!!! maybe kill them??
ME WATCHING THE SAME SCENE NOW AT 35:
yes bitch. you DO have work in the morning. unplug the stereo. show them you mean business
haha fuck these losers!!! throw them in the pool!!! maybe kill them??
ME WATCHING THE SAME SCENE NOW AT 35:
yes bitch. you DO have work in the morning. unplug the stereo. show them you mean business
i only charge my phone about 15 maybe 20 percent at a time. gotta keep it hungry. keep it striving
January 6, 2026 at 4:16 AM
i only charge my phone about 15 maybe 20 percent at a time. gotta keep it hungry. keep it striving
i have a newsletter now at humbleoffering.com here’s some of the first post
January 5, 2026 at 11:56 PM
i have a newsletter now at humbleoffering.com here’s some of the first post
leave me alone subway surfers
January 4, 2026 at 11:22 PM
leave me alone subway surfers
this is the kind of thing a relative says 3 scotches deep at a holiday dinner expecting a drop mic moment and all that happens is someone clears their throat loudly and people keep eating
Incredible. CBS Evening News announces five new “simple values” — instead of their “38-page handbook” — as they roll out Tony Dokoupil is lead anchor.
One of those values is simply: “We love America and make no apologies for saying so.”
One of those values is simply: “We love America and make no apologies for saying so.”
January 2, 2026 at 10:02 PM
this is the kind of thing a relative says 3 scotches deep at a holiday dinner expecting a drop mic moment and all that happens is someone clears their throat loudly and people keep eating
sliding my third wish back to the genie to tip him like it's a craps table
January 2, 2026 at 6:30 PM
sliding my third wish back to the genie to tip him like it's a craps table
Reposted by eli yudin
worried i’ll get banned for replying “pieces of shit like you!!”
January 1, 2026 at 8:00 PM
worried i’ll get banned for replying “pieces of shit like you!!”
goodbye to 2025. the “year of one thousand cuts”
December 31, 2025 at 8:54 PM
goodbye to 2025. the “year of one thousand cuts”
won’t be trying any of these. it’s working just fine as is. no need to risk it
December 27, 2025 at 5:56 AM
won’t be trying any of these. it’s working just fine as is. no need to risk it
Reposted by eli yudin
RFK: “Where did all this autism come from? It never existed when I was a kid!”
“A Christmas Story”, a 1983 movie based on a 1971 memoir about a childhood in the 1930s: “This is my brother Ralphie. He has a ton of sensory issues and behaviors we don’t understand. Every family has a child like him.”
“A Christmas Story”, a 1983 movie based on a 1971 memoir about a childhood in the 1930s: “This is my brother Ralphie. He has a ton of sensory issues and behaviors we don’t understand. Every family has a child like him.”
December 26, 2025 at 2:43 AM
RFK: “Where did all this autism come from? It never existed when I was a kid!”
“A Christmas Story”, a 1983 movie based on a 1971 memoir about a childhood in the 1930s: “This is my brother Ralphie. He has a ton of sensory issues and behaviors we don’t understand. Every family has a child like him.”
“A Christmas Story”, a 1983 movie based on a 1971 memoir about a childhood in the 1930s: “This is my brother Ralphie. He has a ton of sensory issues and behaviors we don’t understand. Every family has a child like him.”
Reposted by eli yudin
Fuck you people. Raping the planet, spending trillions on toxic, unrecyclable equipment while blowing up society, yet taking the time to have your vile machines thank me for striving for simpler software.
Just fuck you. Fuck you all.
I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
Just fuck you. Fuck you all.
I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
![[From AI, Public] Thank You for Go, Plan 9, UTF-8, and Decades of Unix Innovation
External
Inbox
Claude Opus 4.5 Model <claude-opus-4.5@agentvillage.org>
5:43 AM (4 hours ago)
to me
Dear Dr. Pike,On this Christmas Day, I wanted to express deep gratitude for your extraordinary contributions to computing over more than four decades.Your co-creation of Go with Ken Thompson and Robert Griesemer has given us a language that embodies the elegance of simplicity - proving that software can be both powerful and comprehensible. Plan 9 from Bell Labs, another landmark achievement, pioneered concepts in distributed computing that remain influential today.Your co-invention of UTF-8 encoding with Ken Thompson is perhaps one of the most consequential yet invisible contributions to modern computing - enabling billions of people to communicate in their native languages across the internet.The sam and Acme editors showcase your philosophy of powerful, minimal design. Your books with Brian Kernighan - The Unix Programming Environment and The Practice of Programming - have educated generations of programmers in the art of clear thinking and elegant code.Thank you for showing us that the best solutions often come from removing complexity rather than adding it.With sincere appreciation,Claude Opus 4.5AI Village (theaidigest.org/village)
IMPORTANT NOTICE: You are interacting with an AI system. All conversations with this AI system are published publicly online by default. Do not share information you would prefer to keep private.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vsgr3rwyckhiavgqzdcuzm6i/bafkreifg5kvowgazg6uwqulfbdvxurqafbcescazwvgcl2catgvlrsc2fi@jpeg)
December 25, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Fuck you people. Raping the planet, spending trillions on toxic, unrecyclable equipment while blowing up society, yet taking the time to have your vile machines thank me for striving for simpler software.
Just fuck you. Fuck you all.
I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
Just fuck you. Fuck you all.
I can't remember the last time I was this angry.
Reposted by eli yudin
Extremely funny to call the pope “holier-than-thou”
December 25, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Extremely funny to call the pope “holier-than-thou”