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@emosquid23.bsky.social

33 followers 93 following 1.1K posts

Shitposter and pornographer. Shitpornographer. Not like that tho 43m - He/Him - Married/Not Looking - MDNI 🔞 Scripts: https://www.reddit.com/u/emosquid23/s/9dqe6IeQbH

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 8h

Been a while since I did a multiple speaker script and an even longer while since one was well received, so uh… here’s hopin’

www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

[Mature Content] From the gonewildaudio community on Reddit: [FFFF4M] [script offer] Seasons Breedings: Four witches conduct the autumn ritual [witch] [magic] [autumn] [fall] [seasons] [Halloween] [bi...

Posted by emosquid23 - 1 vote and 0 comments

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Reposted by Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram)

No Context Earl Grey @frames.earlgreymemes.club · 10h

TNG; "The Royale"; Data is stepping up to a Blackjack table in a casino setting; the dealer is shuffling and a man and his woman companion are sitting at the table; Data is wearing his Starfleet operations yellow uniform but wearing a tan "ten-gallon hat"; the man is wearing a matching suit with ornate brown leather shoulder pads and a bolo tie made of a light blue gem, and is leaning over to welcome Data to the table, with caption: [ TEXAS CHUCKLING ]

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

There’s no ethical consumption under capitalism, especially at my new restaurant, The Extremely Endangered Animals Café

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

They’re putting me inside of a prison for this one ☝️

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

Unable to stream “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” on Spotify due to Jet lag

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

Live and Sir Mix-a-Lot doing a collab in the vein of Run-D.M.C/Aerosmith:

“Her placenta falls to the floor,
And I pull up quick to retrieve it!”

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 4h

Isekai’d Into A World Where I’m A Stupid Moron With An Ugly Face And A Big Butt And My Butt Smells And I Like To Kiss My Own Butt

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 5h

This is my current finest garment, also from The Yetee. Don’t tease the octopus, kids

Ultros from Final Fantasy VI is fuckin up da pool party

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 5h

Soon to be my finest garment

T-Shirt design from theyetee.com of a sad cat dressed as a Pagliacci-style clown, stating “If I Don’t Turn Into A Joke, It Will Kill Me”

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Reposted by Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram)

Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · Nov 24

Jesus only starting off with 12 followers is proof of what a lowbie can go on to accomplish

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 5h

Come on baby change my tire
Don't know how to change a tire

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 5h

Frantic horseback rider arrives in the village at 4 AM, clanging a bell.

“who up playin with they worm”

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 5h

If I had a time machine, I would go back and invent shitposting in archaic media in past timelines.

That is the only thing I would do.

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 6h

Getting DEEPLY demoralized by how often my stuff lands with a thud and a shrug. Pretty much 80% of the time unless it contains the special horny genres/keywords. I probably need a break from Reddit but don’t know if I have the mental fortitude to actually take one.

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 8h

There’s only one that fits my gigantic cranium and I lose it 8 times a day. They treat me worse than the Dalmatian 😔🚒👨‍🚒

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 8h

This ain’t it, chief.

This ain’t it, chief.

This ain’t it, chief.

This ain’t it, chief.

This is it, chief!

*me down at the fire station when I finally locate my missing helmet*

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 8h

Been a while since I did a multiple speaker script and an even longer while since one was well received, so uh… here’s hopin’

www.reddit.com/r/gonewildau...

Posted by emosquid23 - 1 vote and 0 comments

www.reddit.com

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 11h

Me: These Southwestern Eggrolls go crazy, my slime. What’s the secret ingredient?

Chili’s Waiter: Chemical castration

Me: Come again now?

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 11h

A Chili’s Triple Dipper could fix* me

(* in the “have your pets spayed or neutered” sense)

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 11h

Thought so but never hurts to get a second opinion

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 12h

I would never “fumble” a woman. I’m the sixth-string RB on the practice squad. They don’t let me play in games or touch the ball.

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 12h

Ooh, big stretch!

Ooh, long COVID!

Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 12h

Customer: Excuse me, you seem to be sold out of this product. Do you have any more in the back?

Me: No, but I can give you a “rain check”

Customer, *laughing*: What even is that?

Me, *also laughing*: I dunno, some old Honus Wagner baseball bullshit

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 12h

This is a slice of life scene from my fictional customer service job where we still validate parking like it’s the 1980’s

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 12h

Customer: Hey, can you validate my parking?

Me: Great job parking, man. You aced it. I bet you’re inside of the lines and everything.

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Tentagram 🦑 (Tentacle Pentagram) @emosquid23.bsky.social · 13h

I stand for the flag and kneel for *redacted*