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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 1d

"Counter culture" feel generous, I think it is usually thought of more like "obnoxious hipster".

Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 2d

Portland in crisis: the food cart pod near my house is shutting down to build more condos, and now I have to travel 3 more minutes to get good tacos.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 2d

As someone who lives in Portland, it's always baffling how Fox News just pretends the city is burning to the ground constantly. Like…nothing ever really happens here except the show gentrification of every neighborhood by hipster coffee shops, and I don't think even the national guard can stop it.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 2d

Conservative legit think we have to put boards up to prevent the lawless mobs from ransacking our vegan donut shops, straight razor barbers, and fair trade coffee co-ops.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 2d

Trump: "I don't know what could be worse than Portland. You don't even have stores anymore. They don't even put glass up. They put plywood on their windows."

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 2d

Yeah the bartender kicking them out too. You bet your ass I don't want annoying LLM androids in the bar. That will be a real policy in bars soon probably.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 2d

The fact that everyone totally ignores C3PO when he says stuff like this makes a lot more sense if you think of him as a ChatGPT type computer who just says plausible sounding sentences without any real analysis behind them.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 3d

As St. Thomas Aquinas wisely reminds us, "the husband is bound to pay the debt to his wife, in matters pertaining to the begetting of children".

i.e. you gotta get it done my dude.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 4d

Alien in Athens -
existentialcomics.com/comic/623

Aliens in Athens

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

existentialcomics.com

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 7d

I absolutely loath microwaves that have a setting for "power level". What kind of sicko doesn't want to always crank that thing to the max??

We be shouldn't designing our appliances for sickos.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 8d

Life has too many repetitive fetch quests.

How many times are they going to give me basically the exact same mission to bring back various items from the grocery store?? Boring.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 10d

If someone says they are serving in the military, you should not say:
"Thank you for your service!!"

You should say instead:
"Are you willing to obey a direct order to turn your guns on American citizens to squash the political opposition of a fascist?"

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 10d

So many sitcoms in the 80s and 90s could never be made today (not because of woke or anything, but because like half the jokes are about answering machines, and everyone has cell phones now)

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 11d

The Three Wise Men -
existentialcomics.com/comic/622

The Three Wise Men

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

existentialcomics.com

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 12d

If I were president of the United States I would cut the military budget entirely (no one is going to invade us, come on).

Then I would give all that money to NASA to create rings like Saturn has around the earth. That would be awesome. Way better than whatever the military does now.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 15d

The Greeks, imaging the king of the Gods, the greatest of all possible beings: "he is a huge jacked dude who fucks absolutely everyone constantly. also he shoots lightning."

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 17d

And right before God sent us all to hell he'd be like "yeah that's right I created the dinosaur bones already old to fool smart people into not believing in me, didn't see that coming did you, science nerds!! Rigged up radiocarbon dating too! Lol."

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 17d

I almost wish the Rapture would happen just to see the look on Richard Dawkins' dumb face.

Sure it would mean I'm going to hell too or whatever happens, but still...pretty funny.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 18d

Occam's Razors
existentialcomics.com/comic/621

Occam's Razors

A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also Jokes

existentialcomics.com

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 19d

Men only want two things and it's disgusting (scores and highlights).

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 20d

The idea that Jesus Christ would want America to be for white people only has got to be one of the more bizarre ideas ever conceived, and yet is apparently widely believed.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 22d

Yes that's right. If you don't also follow me on Mastodon you will be missing out on absolute top shelf linux jokes.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 24d

Yeah, blame really goes to his father, Accounts Payable, for naming him that way.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 24d

Credit to @theresthistory.bsky.social by the way for this fact.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 24d

In 1381 the Peasants' Revolt was the first attempt in England to overthrow feudalism and created a society among equals. The very first act of violence was against a tax collector named William Payable. As in his actual fucking name was "Bill Payable".

And I gotta say I want to punch that guy too.

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Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · 24d

This is like when Graham Linehan said that wokeness was so powerful that even his closest and oldest friends wouldn't go on record to say he wasn't a bigot lol.

Matt Binder @mattbinder.bsky.social · 24d

truly one of the most unintentionally funny things i've ever seen someone post online about themself

Colin Wright
@SwipeWright
X.com

Convincing my left-wing former close friends on
Facebook that Charlie Kirk wasn't a Nazi or a
fascist is completely futile because I can't even
convince them that I'M not a Nazi or a fascist, and
many have known me since early grade school.
1:20 PM • 9/15/25 • 850K Views

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