Existential Comics
@existentialcomics.com
A philosophy webcomic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also jokes.
Had to put down my cat last night, but it gives me solace that he died doing what he loves (trying to bite the vet).
I do not wish for him to rest in peace, for peace was not in his heart so long as there was injustice (the aforementioned vet, dogs existing, etc)
May he battle forever in Valhalla.
I do not wish for him to rest in peace, for peace was not in his heart so long as there was injustice (the aforementioned vet, dogs existing, etc)
May he battle forever in Valhalla.
January 3, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Had to put down my cat last night, but it gives me solace that he died doing what he loves (trying to bite the vet).
I do not wish for him to rest in peace, for peace was not in his heart so long as there was injustice (the aforementioned vet, dogs existing, etc)
May he battle forever in Valhalla.
I do not wish for him to rest in peace, for peace was not in his heart so long as there was injustice (the aforementioned vet, dogs existing, etc)
May he battle forever in Valhalla.
oh shit you guys oh no
December 24, 2025 at 12:02 AM
oh shit you guys oh no
The solution the "male loneliness epidemic" for all the lonely men to get huskies. You cannot be lonely with a husky howling at you because he wants to go for a walk. That's just solid facts and logic.
December 20, 2025 at 10:16 PM
The solution the "male loneliness epidemic" for all the lonely men to get huskies. You cannot be lonely with a husky howling at you because he wants to go for a walk. That's just solid facts and logic.
Younger people who didn't witness it cannot fathom the hype around the Segway. Every news station agreed it would revolutionize the entire social fabric of the Earth. That all future humans would divide history between the savage days of the past, and the soon to be new era of zoom zoom scoot scoot.
December 3, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Younger people who didn't witness it cannot fathom the hype around the Segway. Every news station agreed it would revolutionize the entire social fabric of the Earth. That all future humans would divide history between the savage days of the past, and the soon to be new era of zoom zoom scoot scoot.
Fun historical fact: Richard the Lionheart was French and Gay.
No joke here, actually, he literally was. He didn't even speak English and only went to England like once, because he was too busy in France having gay sex with French kings.
No joke here, actually, he literally was. He didn't even speak English and only went to England like once, because he was too busy in France having gay sex with French kings.
November 29, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Fun historical fact: Richard the Lionheart was French and Gay.
No joke here, actually, he literally was. He didn't even speak English and only went to England like once, because he was too busy in France having gay sex with French kings.
No joke here, actually, he literally was. He didn't even speak English and only went to England like once, because he was too busy in France having gay sex with French kings.
My most conservative opinion? That we should go back to the old name for the common kestrel.
November 15, 2025 at 1:51 AM
My most conservative opinion? That we should go back to the old name for the common kestrel.
Meanwhile, on twitter, did you know that Mary Shelley never could have written Frankenstein (which is about magnets as you know) because her boyfriend was really into magnets?
In fact, when you think about it, that's why women in general don't write great literature (chicks aren't into magnets).
In fact, when you think about it, that's why women in general don't write great literature (chicks aren't into magnets).
November 11, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Meanwhile, on twitter, did you know that Mary Shelley never could have written Frankenstein (which is about magnets as you know) because her boyfriend was really into magnets?
In fact, when you think about it, that's why women in general don't write great literature (chicks aren't into magnets).
In fact, when you think about it, that's why women in general don't write great literature (chicks aren't into magnets).
New York City, the greatest metropolis in the world, today.
November 4, 2025 at 4:19 PM
New York City, the greatest metropolis in the world, today.
The fact that everyone totally ignores C3PO when he says stuff like this makes a lot more sense if you think of him as a ChatGPT type computer who just says plausible sounding sentences without any real analysis behind them.
October 8, 2025 at 3:41 PM
The fact that everyone totally ignores C3PO when he says stuff like this makes a lot more sense if you think of him as a ChatGPT type computer who just says plausible sounding sentences without any real analysis behind them.
Yes that's right. If you don't also follow me on Mastodon you will be missing out on absolute top shelf linux jokes.
September 18, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Yes that's right. If you don't also follow me on Mastodon you will be missing out on absolute top shelf linux jokes.
Honestly it does kind of suck for everyone whose Wikipedia page doesn't include this.
September 9, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Honestly it does kind of suck for everyone whose Wikipedia page doesn't include this.
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable" indeed.
September 2, 2025 at 9:30 PM
"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable" indeed.
The debate is still raging as to whether or not those ninjas made it out alive. Unfortunately we may never know.
September 1, 2025 at 6:45 PM
The debate is still raging as to whether or not those ninjas made it out alive. Unfortunately we may never know.
I've discovered there is a wiki called "List of Deaths" that documents deaths in media, and someone has gone through all my comics and meticulously recorded everyone who died and put it on there. Why...I do not know.
listofdeaths.fandom.com/wiki/Existen...
listofdeaths.fandom.com/wiki/Existen...
September 1, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I've discovered there is a wiki called "List of Deaths" that documents deaths in media, and someone has gone through all my comics and meticulously recorded everyone who died and put it on there. Why...I do not know.
listofdeaths.fandom.com/wiki/Existen...
listofdeaths.fandom.com/wiki/Existen...
Old timey boxing was so funny. For example, the longest boxing match took place in 1893. It was 7 hours and 19 minutes. 110 three minute rounds. In round 108 the ref was like "you's guys got 2 rounds to finish this", but neither could even raise their arms and he called it a no contest.
Like...why?
Like...why?
August 30, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Old timey boxing was so funny. For example, the longest boxing match took place in 1893. It was 7 hours and 19 minutes. 110 three minute rounds. In round 108 the ref was like "you's guys got 2 rounds to finish this", but neither could even raise their arms and he called it a no contest.
Like...why?
Like...why?
Imagine getting called up for Jury Duty, having to take time off work or get a babysitter or whatever. And then it's just the State wanting to imprison a guy over a turkey sandwich.
August 27, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Imagine getting called up for Jury Duty, having to take time off work or get a babysitter or whatever. And then it's just the State wanting to imprison a guy over a turkey sandwich.
When Boudica's daughters were raped by Roman officials in AD 61, she gathered the Britains and burned London in such a fiery inferno that a layer of ash can be found still beneath London, known by archeologists as the "Boudican Destruction Horizon".
In 1902 London erected a statue in her honor.
In 1902 London erected a statue in her honor.
August 19, 2025 at 8:32 PM
When Boudica's daughters were raped by Roman officials in AD 61, she gathered the Britains and burned London in such a fiery inferno that a layer of ash can be found still beneath London, known by archeologists as the "Boudican Destruction Horizon".
In 1902 London erected a statue in her honor.
In 1902 London erected a statue in her honor.
The legendary debate on the bodybuilding dot com forums on how many days there are in a week has finally been solved, all thanks to the magnificent power of AI.
August 10, 2025 at 11:08 PM
The legendary debate on the bodybuilding dot com forums on how many days there are in a week has finally been solved, all thanks to the magnificent power of AI.
I think about the egg monopoly tweet like once a week. All time classic of the genre as far as I'm concerned.
July 25, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I think about the egg monopoly tweet like once a week. All time classic of the genre as far as I'm concerned.
This is legit one of the crop circles from the 90s that people thought must be aliens. I mean, come on guys.
June 18, 2025 at 3:59 AM
This is legit one of the crop circles from the 90s that people thought must be aliens. I mean, come on guys.
Remember that more or less the reason the people in charge want to kill everyone in Iran is because they won't let us open McDonald's and KFC in their country. In fact, the maps of locations are a pretty good shortcut to geopolitics.
Iran and Russia even have the audacity of having kicked them out.
Iran and Russia even have the audacity of having kicked them out.
June 17, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Remember that more or less the reason the people in charge want to kill everyone in Iran is because they won't let us open McDonald's and KFC in their country. In fact, the maps of locations are a pretty good shortcut to geopolitics.
Iran and Russia even have the audacity of having kicked them out.
Iran and Russia even have the audacity of having kicked them out.
So funny how he thinks a party explicitly by and for billionaires would be for the "middle 80%".
Especially when Luigi had more cross party support than any recent politician.
Especially when Luigi had more cross party support than any recent politician.
June 6, 2025 at 2:55 AM
So funny how he thinks a party explicitly by and for billionaires would be for the "middle 80%".
Especially when Luigi had more cross party support than any recent politician.
Especially when Luigi had more cross party support than any recent politician.
My dog woke me up at like 5 am crying out dramatically from an apparent nightmare.
So I am asking everyone to please take some time out of your busy day to wish for only good dreams for this very good boy.
So I am asking everyone to please take some time out of your busy day to wish for only good dreams for this very good boy.
June 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
My dog woke me up at like 5 am crying out dramatically from an apparent nightmare.
So I am asking everyone to please take some time out of your busy day to wish for only good dreams for this very good boy.
So I am asking everyone to please take some time out of your busy day to wish for only good dreams for this very good boy.
Not FREE BEER! Please Mr. Capitalist, I just want to work 16 honest hours a day in a factory.
May 28, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Not FREE BEER! Please Mr. Capitalist, I just want to work 16 honest hours a day in a factory.